Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
So I feel that I'm generally calm. I have a stressful job, but I maintain composure. But on the other hand, sometimes I'll get nervous and start worrying about things that didn't and probably won't happen. For example...today as I was driving home, some city workers were filling in potholes. One was directing traffic, another standing there, another rolling the dump truck over the pothole tamping down the fill. The line of traffic was waiting what seemed like forever (but wasn't). I just needed to get home. So I pulled into the turning lane on the right. I did not turn, as the light was red and all traffic was stopped. Then he waved on the cross-traffic. So I turned right and drove on. That's when I started to worry. Was I going to get a ticket? Did I even do anything wrong? (I don't think so but I still worried). And on and on. I do this from time to time, especially about driving. One time at night I backed up and bumped a high curb. I obsessed all the way home. Did I hit something/one? (I didn't, but worried nonetheless). Another time I drove past several girls that, as kids might, screamed when I drove by. I actually drove around the block to make sure they were ok (they were). The odd thing is, I don't worry about my health, or about dying, or things that I hear others fretting about. Can anyone relate? Any feedback/advice/thoughts?
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When i was in the ER February 16th 2025, i was being admitted to ICU where i was for 3 weeks, then had to relearn to walk for 3 weeks in another hospital rehab floor, the nurse told me something that made me feel for over 18 months now that i was finally *safe*. She told me that the guy who raped and beat me 21 years ago now almost 20 years at that time, was in prison as of a month before that...
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I've been feeling like I don't matter my wife the other day instead of telling me she was having a pain day when I went to have sex with her she tell me afterwards that she having pain day due to her fribromyalgia and making feel like shit afterward saying she has a list of things from past 9 years of thing for me to do and is always adding more and more to this list and talk...
For the first decade or so of my recovery, people often accused me of, "Living in the Future." It took me a long time to figure out WTF **they** were talking about, but I now recognize symptoms such as you describe here as a signal that I am once more running from my past, into the future. My past is worth running from, but. . . Ya know, ya know. . . My past be a huge part of what I am made of. I can only move on from here.
Dunno if that applies to your case, or not, but gentle support while you sort your own. Welcome aboard.
What if I get a ticket, what if I hit someone with my car.... all the statements start with a "What if" thought.
This is part of having anxiety. There are anxiety books that can help with the What If's. They usually say to write it out, and write down every possibility of what might happen, and then to challenge these negative thoughts.
It's not easy to do and it takes practice to challenge the thoughts.
I understand, I do this too. If there's a lot of wind here, I'll keep thinking "What if the power goes out again? I will lose all the food I just put in the refrigerator and then I'll have to buy all new food, like the last time this happened." Or if I have to be up early the next day, "What if I oversleep and miss my appointment? What if my alarm doesn't go off?"
This is common anxiety thinking. Like I said, you could read books about overcoming it, or if you feel it is really disrupting your life, then a therapist could really help you with this kind of thinking.
You are not alone!
It's also called Catastrophizing. Thinking the worst will happen in an otherwise mundane, normal situation.
Again, I got these terms from reading anxiety books.
I am currently reading "DARE - The new way to end anxiety and stop panic attacks" by Barry Mcdonagh. This is a newer book. I have read about half of it and it is interesting. It talks about facing the panic attacks and "inviting" them to stay, instead of running away from the panic and trying to escape it. They also have a Dare app, but I haven't tried the app yet.
If you can get apps, they have anxiety apps, such as Calm, 7 Cups, etc.
For other issues, such as family and spouse experiences, you can do a search on Amazon for "self help books" and see if anything catches your eye. Read the customer reviews to see if people like the books.
I like self help books, and have read lots of them.
Hope this helps.
I have occasional what if thinking when it comes to my car at times, though like what if my tire blows after hitting that pot hole, what if that sound is a problem with my car, what if my car doesn’t start, did I just scrape my tire rim, what if I don’t find a gas station etc. I’ve done the driving around the block thing or pulling over to check something. For me it’s not OCD; it’s just my good old anxiety. It similar to how sometimes I can’t remember if I locked my house door so I make myself go back and check. I don’t do it routinely but if I’m particularly tense some days, I find I do that kind of stuff.
You've taken the important first step in writing it out.
The more you 'do' thinking, the easier it is to find the better balance in the moment that works for you.