Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
a great many of the scenarios i paint while i'm rocking in my worry chair are not even physically possible. nor can physics permit the diversity of the more possible scenarios all at one time. even with my arsenal of therapy tools to combat this lifelong psycho tick, i still find myself rocking the worry chair and what-iffing myself to lala land far more often than is healthy. the best i've achieved so far is being gentle with myself and patient with the process.
after the weeks of anticipation anxiety over the prospect of being within eye shot of my estranged son, he didn't show. no surprise there. that is the same tactic i used with my own estranged birth family for the decades i was rasing him. just don't go **THERE**. if ya can't beat 'em, change the subject.
here in the aftermath, i don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed. on the relief end, is the total absence of renewed conflict. on the dissapointment end, i still miss my only living son. his brother's orphans are endlessly curious about him. accepting. . . processing. . .
anybody else feel the sense of anti-climax after an anxiety binge?
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I haven't written in my diary on my computer since May because I thought that my computer was dying. I got away from writing but my computer is hanging in there. I think that I will start writing in it again. It's so therapeutic.
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Years ago, I won a mirrored armoire from my job. It's in my bedroom but I rarely stand in front of it. Yesterday, I had to have a dexascan done so I had to change into a gown. There was a full length mirror in the changing room. I'm aware that I gained 5 to 7 pounds over the last year from cheating on Keto but I didn't know what it looked like. It was a reality check.
After all the anxiety of 'yes or no', it's the after effect that really affects senses.
Although sometimes the anticlimax is what I’m subconsciously chasing when I’m really anxious… the build up to the sweet relief of feeling the heightened energy and stress leaving my body and mind like a slow leaking balloon, is euphoric in its own right.
Being both relieved and disappointed sounds about right.
I am building up some anxiety for American Thanksgiving and going to visit my sister. She was pretty awful on the phone this weekend and right then big anxiety within me that she is going to be so emotionally volatile that Thanksgiving is ruined. She wants us to visit her house but I think she can't. handle stuff like this. The only good news is my husband said let's have son drive his car so you don't have to drive and I said WHEW. And I guess this is good for me: I decided don't EXPECT different. I want to see how she lives because I think she has some dementia brewing and an undiagnosed mood disorder (it runs in our family).
We worry about these people but the reality is, we can't make them change and we have to find some kind of peace of mind about it.
You know, we can miss the person for who they used to be but we have to stay in reality of who they are right now. It is okay to see the person both ways. Two things can be true at once: he was once a lovely son and he is now a problematic person with a lot of issues you can't fix. Same with my sister.