Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
I still feel really bummed out by Christmas. I don’t know who to talk to about it, and I am not sure how I should feel about it. This Christmas just feels sadder, even more than normal. Part of me thinks it is because it is just not what I expect from Christmas, but another part of me feels like my low income is one of the biggest things to blame.
Normally, Christmas is a time to be spent with family, usually opening a few presents each, and watching everyone’s faces light up, and eating. Going to see Santa, and Christmas caroling.
This year, the only thing that I got was getting to spend Christmas with my husband and baby and we ate. I only got a message from John Jr and that was after sending him one. I got to see my stepchildren before Christmas, but only one time in the two months since the kids were taken from us. The only presents that were purchased were one present for the baby (he also got one from Nana, and his great aunt), and John Jr is getting Christmas. John won’t get his still for another couple of weeks. We didn’t do a special meal.
Being low-income, I know there are services out there that will help especially at Christmas. I was interested in signing up for one service, but had issues with getting information, and with being able to apply for services. (I don’t believe in going through 10 services to provide my children with 1 Christmas). Then in October, I got an email from one of my bosses (sort of) asking me if I wanted to be involved with a program that they had created. I was really excited because I thought okay, I can sign up for this, and I don’t have to go anywhere to get it. I signed up, though when it happened, I was going through a crisis mode because the older two just got taken away from us, and we had to deal with the CPS investigation, and dealing with the oddities of my case.
In the week before Christmas, I watched as these (bosses) delivered to the different families that they served, and never got a call to set up delivery for my family. I feel upset because the one service that I setup didn’t work out, and I don’t know why.
I also feel upset that I didn’t get to see my son or stepchildren on Christmas. I feel upset that people can flaunt that they get calls and everything from their children, but I am stuck without anything. I don’t even get to have someone who will actually fight for my rights. On Christmas Eve, while I was at work one of my coworkers got and accepted a facetime call with her youngest children and took the call in my shared office.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
For what it's worth
I sincerely wish I could give you our Christmas donations. We didn't ask for it, but the orphan angle broke enough hearts that we ended up feeling like a Goodwill donation center. Personally, I don't even *like* Christmas. I prefer, "Grinch," thank you kindly. Grinch has much cooler toys than Scrooge.
I know it's hard to be glad that you made it through this difficult time with simple blessing of roof over head, food in tummy, clothes, and being together.
If you are low-income, reach out to different programs. Reach out for regular help, Look for ways to improve your well-being by helping yourself and others.
Best wishes to finding your way to a comfortable level.
It's hard to feel festive when you're going through difficult times. Some Christmases are just going to be less festive... and that's ok.
When I was in college, I had very little cash. I asked my parents if we could spend $5 a person at the Dollar Store; I thought that was what I could afford. (My parents were relieved because money was tight for them, too!)
It was actually fun... for all of us... and there were quite a few things to select from.
I've continued this tradition for my son. He got $5 to spend on me, dad, and grandma.
Bath bombs, fuzzy socks, a back scratcher, jelly beans, and a plate.... those were my gifts this year. All were great surprises!
Our Christmas meal?? Ham and beans. It's what we were craving and wasn't too expensive.
Honestly, Christmas can be celebrated any day. Perhaps you and your husband can find $5? Maybe it could be YOUR gift from Nana?
I know it's hard to celebrate when your heart aches. I just wanted to share what has worked in my family.
I am irritated that the one (and only) low-income service that I signed up for somehow lost my family's information. Like I said in the original post, I might be low income, but I am doing alright, so I don't go after extra food that I don't need, I don't go after services that I don't need. So, I'm not really irritated that I didn't get services, I am irritated that I am not sure about what happened, and more frustrated because I am not sure who to talk to about it.
I'm not sure if I can just come out and ask without it making me look like a jackwagon. I don't think I really want to present a question like "I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but why did my family not get services even though we signed up?" It just looks like a bad question to ask...but at the same time, I would like to know why my family didn't....
I suppose in the end it is just easiest to drop the whole thing and not worry about it. Put it in the past and just keep moving forward, but then my negative head space adds in the jib "but you must be less than everyone else", which just adds to the cycle.