Perhaps you could send an email or text message which could possibly be more private and ask her if she is ok and that you are concerned?

I, too, am wondering about text and/or email. Writing can be far easier to keep fully private.

Personally, psychotherapy helped me get past those either/or expectations of friendship. These days, I hold friends near and dear in my heart, even after life gets in the way of our staying in touch. While I grieve the absence of their physical presence, their warmth and comfort stays in my heart.

I hate talking in the phone when my husband is home. He’s like a kid in that he suddenly needs to ask me something or he suddenly is making a lot of noise. Mostly though, I just like privacy when on the phone, even from my husband. I’m not a huge phone talker anyway but when I do I usually call people when I’m alone and feel I won’t get distracted.

Anyway, sorry it is hurting you. I like the idea of shooting a text to her. Sometimes even in my closest friendships we have times where we don’t connect frequently because of whatever is going on in each of our lives at the moment. Solid friendships can withstand the lull.

When a marriage changes due to one partner being home far more frequently, it becomes necessary to use writing as messages to allow the friend the privacy to speak easier.

I had to do this. I had to switch to text messages and writing notes.

Hi
It can be so hard when you don't know what's going on. I had a similar thing
happen with a good friend of mine (and our family)--long term friendship.
Anyway, I called and texted her a few times, my husband, who is also a friend told me that he left a message.
Finally I just let it go. She finally called and I did tell her that I was worried about her and wasn't sure why she wasn't returning my calls/ texts.
So, she said that she was going through some emotional stuff and was just
isolating with no motivation. Is it possible that she might be going through something on her own? You've been good friends for 30 years--that's a long time. If this all started right around the time her husband began working from home, I'd be suspicious that things might be related to that. I think that the message idea is a good one. You could even mail her a "thinking of you" card. But ultimately if you have reached out many times, I would just see what happens. I know that it's hard; sounds like she is a big part of your life. I suspect that you will hear from her.

It could be she doesn't like him eavesdropping into the conversation. Also, with him being home now, maybe there is a lot more that she has to do to accommodate him, like more cooking and cleaning around the house. Her time revolves around him now. I wouldn't be so quick to say this friendship is done, but when it is possible, I would talk to her about it if I were you.

My niece is married with family and it's hard for her to talk too. Some of my friends too. I usually text them and say can you talk. If they can find otherwise they call back. Also, you can just send a short how are you text and let them know your thinking of them and they can respond when able

When my best friend is with her boyfriend, she is off limits. I think she just feels funny getting on the phone with him in earshot. My youngest brother just returned to the office after working from home for so long. Maybe your friend's husband will do the same. And I don't think she's trying to end your friendship.

I think sending her a text message would be better than a phone call. Let her know that you are thinking of her and she can reply whenever she wants to.

Hope it goes well!

Thanks for your replies but she doesnt keep her phone on, its only for emergencies! I'm slightly stuck

Send her a note via the mail or if she has a computer or laptop, send her an email.

Try to meet her for lunch or see if you get a sense of when he's not around. Whatever her reasoning, its what she is and is not likely to change.