Anxiety Support Group
Anxiety is a physical condition marked by intense and persistent feelings of distress, fear, angst or dread. General anxiety caused by routine day-to-day stresses usually passes quickly and is experienced by almost everyone at one time or another. However, such feelings that linger over time and are very difficult to cope with, and which lack a clear cause, may indicate...
Hello everyone.
My thoughts today focus on feeling like everyone is against me in some way or another, which even includes myself (kinda weird). In many ways, I feel like everyone is out to get me. My ex wasn't even involved with my son before I left him, never walked him to the bus stop, or made dinner right before work, or cleaned the house. My ex is using my first son against me so he can have custody of our child. My lawyer in the custody arrangement agreed to back child support without my knowledge, and in the process screwed me out of my one and only way to afford to have my son come and see me for the one and only amount of time I get to spend with my child. Which I also kinda got screwed out of because he left the state we both resided in, and took our child 3,000 miles away in the middle of the night, and then denied me visits, and then the court and my lawyer all agree to graduated visits, which means I don't even get the full summer that I should be able to have with Jr until next summer.
Next, the health insurance that I can't afford to pay the deductible, and because I can't afford to pay the deductible I can't see the doctors. Which includes my therapist for normal care, my normal doctor, my woman doctor for the difficulties and pain there, oh and any other doctor that could possibly help. Insurance is insanity, why should someone pay a premium for their insurance, and then have to pay a deductible just to be able to use the services that they pay for? I mean in the food industry people would scream if a proprietor were to say okay pay me to come into my store, and then pay for my food on top of that.
And then there is work, I get mixed messages so often that I am confused as to handle people in general. I have my boss basically telling me that although I am great at my job, that I should not bother trying to be friends with any one of the people that I work around because we are all just too different. And then the message that I get from the people that I work around is that they do care in some ways because they care enough to help when my boyfriend and I get temporary custody of his kids, but for the most part their lives and work schedules are too busy to talk to me.
And then the last absolute battle I have is with myself. I get in my own way more often than not because everything in my mind tells me that I am not worth anything. I question why anyone would want anything to do with me, who has time to listen to all my concerns. And I isolate myself because I don't feel like anyone will listen, or want anything to do with me. I feel so negative that I don't know how to remind myself that I AM worth something. I don't know how to keep telling myself that I can do this, that I can keep going. That I am strong, and that I am not alone. I forget that I am not facing this alone and that there is someone there who will catch me when I lose my footing.
Apart of me just wants to stop. To stop fighting, to stop trying to get better, to stop doing anything and everything. Part of me wants to blow up and scream at anyone and everyone who does anything that I don't like around me. I am finding it extremely hard to find the balance that allows me to express how I feel and what I am going through, without being so upset to be able to get the information that I need.
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I don't really know how to label this but I having a rough week and I can't say it's one thing.... I have a lot on my plate which is nothing new and I try to cope in many positive ways and do but I still have my moments.My kids more so my daughters talk to me about everything which I know it's cause of comfort and we are close.... however I really struggle with the venting about their dad which...
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I did the dumbest thing today. I charged my earbuds, unplugged the block and put the block in my little bag instead of the earbuds. I wasn't happy about that when I got to the gym. What a dummy!
In the workplace, your focus is on the job, the work.
To find a balance you can be comfortable with, you will have to figure out exactly what you want, and look for positive ways to reach the balance.
When it comes to children, child support, and visitation, you have to keep the areas separate, even in your writing in journal. The law provides for child support. The law provides for visitation. The other parent being negative responsive is their problem, not yours. Even though you are separated from the child, it is not the child who chose this. It is the other parent.
You are responsible for what you say, what you do, and how you respond and react. So, figure out what works to help you stay positive in these situations.
Feelings are valid. However, they do not help in finding factual information to research and use in the process. That is why you keep using a journal to help you release and express your words in a safe place. Keep your journal private.
Best wishes.
That is allot to sort, Angel. Gentle support while you sort. Keep posting. Your answers are in there.