You’re not alone, but you can survive it. I’m pushing myself to be living proof of someone surviving it. I’ll add you as a friend so we can pm if you wish :)

You aren't alone. I have survived life long anxiety. And I'm 64 now.
Just take things one day at a time. When necessary one hour at a time.
You can get through this. Try meditation, listen to music.

The most troubled times for me are the times when all my diagnoses are bouncing off each other and I forget both to use my tools and that there will be a day when I get some hope back. Feeling like it is the end of the world is that place of hopelessness we enter, and then the door seems to close behind us. Then we realize that the door isn't locked and things get better. Hugs.

When my son was 2-3 it started becoming clear that he had a language delay.

Well it all exploded in kindergarten. He was kicking, spitting, hitting. It was ugly. He was in the principal's office 3-4 times a week. My stress and anxiety hit the ceiling.

How did I make it through?

I honestly don't know. I had literally no one to talk to...no family, my husband coped entirely differently (and our marriage fell apart in large part due to the issues).

One day at a time. I distracted myself as much as I could. But mostly I focused on one day...or even hour at a time.

((( He's 18 now. Fantastic kid. His teenage years have been a dream. BUT...back then...the school counselor was throwing around words like Oppositional Defiance Disorder, and I worried that he'd end up in prison. )))

Anxiety is so uncomfortable and hard to deal with. I live with it every day. It comes and go. Worst part, no triggers whatsoever. Not sure what to tell you. For me, I pretty much accepted it that I will live with this forever. But that doesn't mean it will be the same for you. Do what you can and there will be days it isn't as bad and days hard to deal with.

It took me 9 years after getting my undergrad degree to decide to go to grad school. On the 6th day of the program- my mom was diagnosed with cancer. For just over a year I struggled with my mom's diagnosis while attending classes and an internship. She died while I was still in school- still going to classes, still doing an internship, still trying to get a specialized degree in 3 years. Trying to write my thesis, regular homework, classes and internship and make the time and space to cope with the loss of my mother, WAY too young- was horrible. Every day I felt like something needed to give. At that time, I absolutely immersed myself in school and tried not to think about anything else. Which was largely impossible and I don't recommend. I've found since that I have to honor how I really feel. I'm going through a lot of transitions in my life right now and the biggest thing that helps me is to make my basic needs a priority. I will get 8 hours of sleep, I will remember to eat, I will get fresh air, a shower- I will make sure I'm taking care of me. Anxiety is a beast, and I certainly still struggle with it but, it does pass, even though in the midst of it it feels like it never will. Best to you!!