I don't think you are hopeless or confused. Science and logic tell me there is no Jesus for one thing. There is a reason the old testament is not talked about in church and why the books of the bible(mark, matthew, luke, john) of Jesus tale were written some 50 to possibly 100 years after he supposedly died. Christianity spread after (Saul)Paul saw a vision? Paul never knew Jesus, or had heard of Jesus. MANY gods from mythology meet the same criteria of Jesus...And so, everyone believes Paul with no proof that Jesus ever existed...Only faith that he did.

It is faith that people believe in and that can make them happier and feel more fulfilled. Whether that is love of this faith or a feeling of love. It is not a bad thing, but in my opinion, ignorance is bliss in this case. Just like people eat food or take whatever, and if it feels good or tastes good, who cares right?

For all people on the fence about God, Jesus, religion, see this:

http://vimeo.com/5861220

Best wishes for peace,

TJ

I'm annoyed at the previous post but not even going to go there.

Anyway, I've had anxiety(and depression) for about two years now. I still have panic attacks but I ALWAYS start reciting The Lord's Prayer and it calms me down. Might be something that might help you as well.

I can tell you this, I was NOT a Christian when I was suicidal. And I became a Christian because my mom dragged me to church and I sat and listened and realized that God really does love me, and he loves you too! I wish I had grown up in a Christian faith but even if I didn't, I'm glad I am now. It helps to listen to someone preach, I know it sounds weird but it helps me. Makes me realize that someone (God) is really watching out for me and he hates to see me in pain. I was on anti depressants for a year, and when I came off them, I was a Christian for 6 months. Maybe try to find another church/religion(Because I know Catholic is a little different from Christian, not a lot but a little) so you might find something better. Each church is very different, my church personally doesn't FEEL like a church, it feels like a hangout to learn (Almost like school haha).

I'll be praying for you! Feel free to message me :)

Stand up for yourself and stop settling for less with your boyfriend and a man. You need to be on your own for awhile. You are basing your opinion of yourself of something that happened in your past and that isn't you. You sound like a loving, caring person. Just because something may have happened that upset you in the past doesn't mean that is YOU. You will meet someone again and it will be so much greater. I challenge you to stop living in FEAR of what is on the other side. Being with someone and miserable is keeping you from meeting someone who cherishes you for you. Stand up for yourself and tell him you are not putting up with it anymore. He knows he can treat you with disrespect because you accept it. As for God, you have to trust in HIM and know that there is something greater than yourself. You have a hard time trusting in that and thus you feel you are not getting it. Get involved in a church or church group and in time you will feel more of a connection. It doesn't have to be Catholic. I grew up Catholic but prefer non-denominational now. Best to you!

By they way I am 42 and still have been single and met someone recently. You have lots of time. A friend of mine used to tell me"why accept crumbs, when you can have the whole sandwich". Expect more for yourself. Wouldn't you rather be happy and alone?

I am not here to annoy, just state what I believe to be true. I say the Lords prayer to calm down sometimes and said it to my father as he passed and several times since...

My parents(now passed away) met in Sunday School, and I have spent a lot of time in churches. My greater family roots are saturated in Christian Science. I still will go to church, but only to be with family, not really any other reason. I cannot change the way they think, or their belief system. Such a strong influence in peoples lives is not easily swayed. They would however talk to me about it if I choose to do so. Religion is a touchy subject, I know.

Those that do not believe in God, namely Jesus, are certainly the minority.

I actually challenge anyone to watch that video and logically explain how else these tales could be true. It is truly...and only...Faith

I am Catholic and believe in my religion. However, I don't think that you are hopeless or confused. A lot of people question religion.

I think everybody's relationship with God is unique and personal and its hard for me to give advice on. But I can tell you that the thing that strikes me the most about you is that you seem like a person who is living her life in the world that other people have created for her, and that is how you continue to see your future. You don't seem to understand that you are the one holding the pen that writes the book of your life. You are staying with an abusive boyfriend, which is holding you back from so many wonderful opportunities. You worry about your future being terrible because some other guy might decide he doesn't want you in HIS life. You think that if somebody else doesn't want you that it is entirely your fault because of course its up to them to tell you if you are worthy or not. And you are waiting for unconditional love and support from other people, rather than learning that while that type of love and support is nice....it is not necessary in order to have a happy life.

The only person you truly need that type of love from is yourself. I don't have a lot of people who love me unconditionally. My family has mostly died and I have no real close friends. I have my husband and he is great, but let me tell you, he is no poet and no unending source of support and strength. He tries, but usually falls short....but I love him anyway. ;) But I am where I am because of me...nobody else helped me through it. Nobody. (Well unless you count self-help authors...lol.) And while it would have been nice to have somebody to get me through it, I feel really good that in the past 20 years from a pathetic young girl in an abusive relationship to somebody who can take care of herself no matter what happens. I wasn't born that way. I had to learn it. So when you ask about faith, I think that you should work on developing your faith in yourself.

Ghandi said "God has no religion". I believe that. Religion is man made. It is not necessarily what God is about. I would not try to get anyone to believe as I do. All I know is a couple years ago, after my father passed away, I started to talk to God for the first time in my life. I questioned if I was really talking to God or if it was just the wiser part of me. But then I thought maybe that's what God is. It has been very comforting and helpful to me. I mainly talk to Him when I'm walking outside. I write poetry based on our conversations. Here's one I wrote the other day. It's called "With Me".

Despite my painful challenge
I persevere.
I strive to return to the wholeness
you gave me at birth.
My will is strong -
I do not give up.

You come to me when my struggle bears down hard -
When my inner argument becomes too loud.
You come to me with calm.
You soothe me with Your presence.
You save me with Your love.

Your eyes are full of sadness.
As I am reflected in them
You let my hand slip from yours
And although You leave,
You are still with me.

- stillearning57

Hello, Im new here and very happy to have found this site. Just wanted to send u a bit of my personal life. Your not hopeless....no one is. But at times that feeling can overwhelm us when life gets hard. I have a strong belief in God, because I know him personally. Just like anyone can :) I talk to him just like I talk to my other friends, only on a more personal level. PLUS he is always there any time of day or night! I have developed and still working on, a relationship with him. The more time goes by, the closer we become...just like any relationship. I talk to him alot, and thank him for his many blessings. Some people get a lil confused, and think he is only there for a tragedy and nothing else. Which he is there for us in those times, but he is there for the good times also, and we should share that with him to. Giving my life to God was the most important thing I have ever done. Asking him to guide my life, and really seeking his wisdom has saved me from many hardships. And how comforting to know that my hand is in his, him guiding me, and having a trust that no matter what comes my way I'll never be alone :) Make God a part of everyday, you will have a relationship with him, he loves you. I know the deep peace i feel now is something I'd never trade. Just talk to him :)

Lily gave a great answer I believe. Also Summerrain has a great point, try a different church if you think you do have some belief in God. I was raised Catholic and now go to a nondenominational church, I've never felt anything like what I feel going there.

I agree with lilly and tiffany. I think everyone has a unique relationship with God (if they believe) and I know that I would never call myself a "perfect" catholic. At times I disagree with the church, question Jesus etc. I was always taught that questioning things is normal and natural and can actually increase your failth. In my life I have waxed and wained in church attendance etc. but currently am going, praying and feel like it helps me. That said you must do what is in your heart.

Going back to what Lily was referring to- you need to believe in yourself first and foremost. In that journey you will find your strength and set boundaries. You CAN decide what you will and will not allow in your life. But first you need to find the strength and worthiness in you. I think you are very brave and the fact that you are wondering about these things is your first step on the road.

Please keep sharing your journey - you never know who else on here may be going through something similar and you may inspire them.

Religion is a very very touchy subject. I feel and have thought about the same things that you were thinking. It's funny but I read a lot in my bible at home and at work,, The bible is mostly stories,letters and a lot about history. I go to a nondenominational church and they are very new age and it's almost like listening to Wayne Dyer or Louise Hay. They all agree in a supreme being or a creator,power in the universe. I'm confused a lot about it to! I still pray and pray to God and Jesus, knowing that my prayers are being heard by the entity responsible for my creation. I work on my faith and I don get comfort just by saying the name Jesus. I to wish that I could let go and let God. I think I fall in to the category," If you have the faith as big as a mustard seed...you believe" I just figures that all the letters and writings in the bible originated from something special. I think the main thing with any religion is Love. Learning to love yourself is very,very important. Sounds kinda out there but when you grow up in a messy life full of God knows what, you can have a hard time loving yourself .Thats a very important thing to learn and to implement in your life. I think once you learn to truly love yourself then the rest falls in to place.

I guess this all came from this girl I work with for the past nine months. She was actually on a super popular reality TV show and was labeled as a street preacher actually. She's is really honest and sweet but has had to face some really hard situations and her faith is what saves her. I think she has a ton of grace and want to believe and truly hear what she says about Jesus, like cntry talked about... But while i'm listening I almost become defensive and maybe jealous that its so easy for them. Jesus isn't paying my student loans or helping me not have panic attacks. Did I do something to deserve my crappy situation? Is this why I can not "feel close" to Jesus. I guess it is more about being happy in myself than looking outward, I just want what everyone else wants I think.

I totally appreciate hearing every ones views though, its all very interesting to me. Also, I meant I grew upin a catholic church... I've thought about going to a non denominational one but start getting extreme anxiety and always end up not going