Hello Jax. Welcome to DS.

The other half of the AA coin, Alanon, has been my most reliable lifesaver during my long, hard recovery from child sex trafficking. I, too, find that I can apply the 12 steps to any of my psychoses(pl) and/or the new curve balls that life keeps throwing at me. Most recently, I have been plying them to the inheritance of 3 young orphans (6, 4, 1) after the deaths of my son and his wife in a car crash this past September.

I don't go as far as to believe the 12 steps are for everyone, but they sure do work for me. It truly is amazing how they help me sort heaping piles of psychotic madness, be it my own psycho ticks or the rough breaks of life. It is seldom easy to keep the two separate.

Hello Arfie,

Sorry to hear about your son and his wife. My husband and I lost a son to a car accident. It is devastating and the hurt never goes away. It kind of quiets down a little.

I start my day, every day by admitting I have no control over certain things. It really does help me keep my mind in the right spot on which battles to fight and which to walk away.

I understand about our own psycho ticks and rough breaks. It has taken me 30 plus years to get my head in a more consistent place which is what brought me to DS. As a woman I am a natural caregiver and seldom find room to care for myself. I am hoping I can both help and be helped here.

As a woman, I still feel deeply shamed whenever I have to admit that my husband is the caretaker of the family, but the 12 steps help me with that, as well. I is what I is and I isn't what I isn't.

Whatever the psycho tick or unfortunate series of events, it helps to have a supportive structure and environment to help work ^it^ through. I have very little doubt you will find what you seek here, Jax.

I have a book that I read and journal about. It is called, "A Woman's Way through The Twelve Steps"" by Stephanie Covington, Ph.D.

It teaches us to pay attention to how recovery raises special issues for us as woman. As woman we are expected and taught to be the caregivers, we are expected to set our selves and our feelings aside for others. This book helped me realize that I do not have to live up to society's expectations of me.

My personal favorite quality of the 12 steps is that they are not specialized. They apply to all sexes, races and creeds. Even gender misfits like me. **Who** can benefit from the 12 steps is even more diverse than the conundrums they can be applied to.

But every healing journey is unique and each healing journey passes through many phases. I'm grateful the specialized sub-sets are available for specialized needs. They happen and sometimes narrowing the focus is helpful.

Glad you and yours are finding your ways past society's expectations of you. May the healing growth continue.

Thanks so much for sharing this. I don't remember all the steps, but the one I do remember that was the turning point was admitting you have a problem.

This is what set me on the path to seek medical attention, therapy, and eventually self-help. For some of us, the early years are spent thinking, hoping, and wishing that somehow, we'll wake up one day and all the anxiety will be gone and life will be "normal" again.


The life-changer is the realization and admission that this is a mental illness. I can't wish or reason my way out of an anxiety diagnosis any more than I could wish or reason my way out of a type 2 diabetes diagnosis.


We must recognize, accept, get treated, then maintain and cope.

What works for each of us is different, and when we share, often it helps others to seek out something to just look at which in turn gives them other options.

Best wishes for healing!