Anxiety Disorders in Children Support Group

Childhood","This community is for parents and caregivers of children who exhibit signs of anxiety. Anxiety refers to a complex combination of negative emotions that includes fear, apprehension and worry, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as palpitations, nausea, chest pain and/or shortness of breath."

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hollyd22 02/04/2017

I have been in a relationship with my partner for over 3 years. She has an 8 year old son that has been diagnosed with Add. Like any child, he manipulates at times( a ton) to get his way, lies a lot and says very hurtful and disrespectful things to me. He manipulates his mother a lot, knows exactly which buttons to push , ext.

We have asked him repeatedly what the problem is and he says everything but what's actually wrong with him. His father is in his life and sees him every weekend, and him and I get along and everything. About a year ago his dad let a woman in his life and my partners son got attached to the child because he is an only child and wants siblings, and 3 months later, they broke up and He was devastated, totally acted out and treated my partner and I horribly. He acts very spoiled, entitled and cries like a 3 year old when he gets into trouble and throws fits.

Last week in the morning, he told me to kill myself and when I offered to take him into school with an umbrella when it was raining, he said that I wasn't his mom. Ok I get that, I don't overstep my boundaries as a parental guardian. The thing is that he has told us repeatedly and in the past that he wants to live with me and doesn't want us to break up . This kid and I have a really hard time now getting along without it going south or into an argument. At first I thought, ok I'm getting in the way of him and his mother, or that he wants his mom and dad back together. My partner has asked him when they are alone many times, and he said that it's not that.

I don't have any children of my own, so I don't know what to do in these situations. I know that he grew up in a loving family and he is ver spoiled but very kind, very sensitive, but can be very aggressive. There are much worse kids so I feel horrible for even posting this but I don't know what bothers me so much about the child. I care about him and told him that I would never leave him, because the only constant he has ever had is his mother. When he was born, my partners husband( the father) at the time was in the military and they moved around a lot. When we got together he was going to a school where people would bully him a lot. My partner had a best friend that she isn't friends with anymore and Kameron was best friends with her son's and they left. I don't want to leave him or them because I love them so much, but how can this be fixed with me and that kid talking to me like that and getting away with it? I wasn't raised that way you know he thinks he can say whatever he wants because He is around adults and thinks that he can talk like an adult. I have said some hurtful things to him too as I know that an argument goes both ways, but he is almost impossible. He never listens to me and ignores me sometimes and I just don't know what the he'll to do. I love my partner so much and can't imagine life without her, but this is so difficult. At 8, he does not like to get anything for himself, doesn't clean up his mess. He does one chore a day and I think that's great, but how much is too much? I am in counseling and they have an appointment for family counseling for him as well. What's to be done?

bluesprite72 03/09/2017

My son is very similar to this boy, only he is now just 13. So I have been dealing with this sort of thing for a very long time. I do know that with my son, he acts up around people he feels the safest with. So that means that when life gets confusing or he gets angry, he is horrible to me. I am around him the most. It is all very challenging to live with a child like this. But mine is kindhearted and very empathetic as well. Their brains are underdeveloped in some areas, which makes them not have the filters that we have in our brains. The key is to try and focus more on the positives of the boy, structure in his life, not engaging in arguement when he is pushing buttons. Mine will start arguments of stupid things, when he is bored. They need to feel like they are loved even when they act out, that they are important. It all takes a huge amount of patience and self-control and seeing the world through his eyes. What it must be like for him on a daily basis. Sometimes, kids have a funny way of showing us that they really want to be close to us. Like this boy and my son, it comes out in a negative way. They just need to learn what is going to work and what isn't. I have been working on my son for years now, trying to tell him what I will accept and what i will not. For some kids, it will take years for their brains to make those important connections and learn how to be appropriate. I was the same way as a kid. They aren't trying to be bad, their brains just aren't making the connections they need to learn a certain thing. Loving through it all and being painfully consistent is key as well. Learn all you can about anxiety in children and ways to help lessen the things in his environment that trigger outbursts and anxiety. But you are showing that you love and care about him, or you wouldn't have reached out. We all have the frustration and hard times with these kids, but God puts us where he does for a reason. Hang in there, things will change and get better.

guachita 05/18/2017

When kids can communicate verbally and they are smart we get confused and we kind of minimize the disability but ADD is a neurological disorder it makes this kids different from the typical developed population they think and process things different. My kids says the most gruesome things to me, I have gotten the most horrible judgment looks at the store or at the park like if I was condoning my son when he acts of says hurtful things to me. But understanding him does not mean allowing. Only until I was able to see things this way my attitude towards him started to change and thongs are beginning to change. If he defies me and I react defying him, it is now 2 people confronting each other possibly to exhaustion with no end. IT has been 5 months since the last time I screamed at him, I consider scream sober now. That is a big improvement. This kids need structure but at the same time they need to feel loved all the time and I never had the time for him. Don't lose your hope, he is a different kid, get to know him. There are good readings and therapies. Just know that you are not causing this and that you are not alone.

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