you might want to get a therapist. Im bipolar and I have anger issues. My therapist says its because Im afraid of getting close to people that I use my anger to push them away.

I agree that you need to get a therapist. Most of the time if you are that angry there is some reason, whether it be from repressing stuff or what, i don't know. HUGS HUGS u have support here, promise!

nothings "wrong" with you. You have fears and hurts and sensitivities just like everyone else. You are NOT a freak or a monster or a terrible human being. You are just a human being and show your flaws in a certain way. Start out knowing that and then work on knowing yourself, digging into what events in the past and what fears in the present shaped you and still cause you to react. Be honest with yourself. And facing up to yourself, you can start seeing how you are reacting and why and perhaps short circuit your reactions. God bless you and good luck.

I know how you feel. My 3 year anniversary is coming up in January and I don't think that I will see it. I got upset with my husband and threw a small room heater. He is so upset with me, but I am more upset with myself than anything. He says that he doesn't know if he wants to be with me anymore. He says that he is afraid of me. I feel like I am dying inside. I can relate. It will get better. It has to right?

My hurt goes out to you....I deal with a bip meolar husband, and often wonder if my anger triggers him, or if his moods trigger me. I am the most patient with kids (I teach), but adults and my close friends get the brunt of my anger. I often feel like you and wonder what is wrong, with me. I do go to weekly counseling, and I know it helps. I hope you find support with people here, and know it is not only you.

Hi, crysalic, wanting to change is the frist step,we all have anger, yelling and screaming at the ones we love,try saying I have to be alone,taking deep breaths.now to hurt others,why are you really mad, good luck, bluebird, I get mad all the time,being angry, is about control,relizeing we can only control us,try

First I think you need to identify why you get angry. try reading "when Anger Hurts", it is a great book. Next remember you can only change yourself and no one else. You choose to be angry and then act on that emotion, your boyfriend needs to choose to manage his Bipolar conditon, you cannot make him. trying will only make you more angry.

Thanks guys, that is all really good advice. I'm starting therapy soon, and my boyfriend and I are also going to start couples' counselling. We're going to go to his therapist for the counselling because she already knows his situation and can best tell me what I need to do to express my anger without setting him off. I've been to a therapist before and have been diagnosed with depression and OCD, but not bipolar, I think it's just like some of you have said: some kind of fear or experience in my past is what's making me angry and I need to find out what it is.. before it destroys me.

i totally am in the same boat with you but my boyfriend is depressed. im trying to control my rage and talk things out in calm manners.

Seek professional help as soon as you can. Beleive me, when we are not 100% on the inside, it will show & manifest itself when we take it out on those we love. I am learning that to love-and be loved by-others I must first love myself.

Crystal - I feel the same way. I have so much rage and anger built up inside of me and I'm constantly taking it out on my boyfriend. He doesn't deserve it and I'm so worried he's going to leave me because of it. My anger has become much worse since my grandma passed away a year and a half ago. When I have my angry tirades, it's like I'm watching someone else. I can't even believe the things I'm saying, even as I'm saying them. I've been told that therapy will help but I've tried therapy twice without good results. I really don't know what to do anymore. It does help that stories like yours remind me that I'm not alone. Thanks for sharing yours with all of us.

Hello Crystal! I know how you feel, I too have MANY issues with anger and it has affected my relationship terribly! Things have actually even turned abusive on my part! That is why I joined DS, and that is ALSO why I have created a self help support group here at DS! It is a fun and positive place where all are welcome! Feel free to join us, we would be happy to have you with us! We focus a lot on anger/abuse/and relationships! We have a lot of fun games and jokes, and serious discussions, great advice etc! So feel free to check it out! (I will include the group's link at the bottom of the page) We hope to see you there! :D

In the meantime, here is something I copied and pasted from a post in my group that I think would be helpful to you! (Go to my group and check out the post titled Daily Lessons) We update this post on a daily basis and right now we are working out of a book called the Love Dare! It is a book that helps you improve your relationship! :)

1/9/09 Excerpt taken from "The Love Dare"

"You must take the view that instead of following your heart, you are choosing to lead it. The world says to follow your heart, but if you are not leading it, then someone or something else is! The Bible says that "The heart is more deceitful than all else." (Jerimiah I7:9) and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment. We dare you to think differently-choosing instead to lead your heart toward that which is best in the long run. This is a key to lasting, fulfilling relationships."


"You are slow to anger. You choose to have a long fuse instead of a quick temper." "Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure."


So with this my friends I ask you one last thing..... What would the tone and volume of your home be like if you tried this biblical approach? "See that no one repays another evil for evil, but always seek after which is good for one another." (I Thessalonians 5:I5)

I hope that this has helped you some! Good luck and take care!

"Everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger."
James 1:19

Kylie

http://dailystrength.org/groups/metamorphosis