Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.
As I take a step back back from our 2 year relationship between my bf and I, I try to analyze what's been going on between the two of us. So here is a few thoughts I have that I am posting here, and would like some feed back from all of you. Sorry if it may be a little long.
The relationship between the 2 of us is very up and down. We fight a lot. We argue pretty often. But in between the arguing we have the best times together. Every time we bump heads, I try to see it from both sides, mine and his, and try to find a middle ground. But every chance he gets, he is very quick to just point the finger at me. And not just for a disagreement, but for EVERYTHING. He gets mood swings a lot, which I'm fine with cuz nobody is perfect and I don't expect him to be. I have my down falls too like my fast temper. But what I can't stand and don't deserve is when he even has to blame me for his mood swing, when I have nothing to be at fault for. If anything, I try everything I can to cheer him up or make him feel happier. But somehow I feel it's damned if I do and damned if I don't. Cuz no matter what I do, he always finds a reason to be pissed at me, or at the minimum something to blame on me.
I have a bad temper, but that's in general, and I don't blame him. I may get angry, but it's not necessarily at him. However, I do have a good heart, a good mind, and a good soul. Every day i think about what can I do for him that he would like, or what would be nice to do for him, and how much I love him. I sometimes call him with just the intentions of wanting to tell him so, but like yesterday, I ended up getting screamed at.
It seams as tho every time he may be angry at the world, i end up getting a piece of that hatred. He has done many good things for me and I for him, but it has come down to this. I have tried telling him about his hatred and that I don't deserve ANY of it, but it seems like he can't control it. Anger is one thing, but hatred is a whole other beast. I have anger problems, but I think that his problem is far deeper and maybe the source of all his problems. He has hatred problems...and his hatred is killing us.
If he won't try to work on this, I am about an inch away from walking out on him for good. What are your opinions about this?
The relationship between the 2 of us is very up and down. We fight a lot. We argue pretty often. But in between the arguing we have the best times together. Every time we bump heads, I try to see it from both sides, mine and his, and try to find a middle ground. But every chance he gets, he is very quick to just point the finger at me. And not just for a disagreement, but for EVERYTHING. He gets mood swings a lot, which I'm fine with cuz nobody is perfect and I don't expect him to be. I have my down falls too like my fast temper. But what I can't stand and don't deserve is when he even has to blame me for his mood swing, when I have nothing to be at fault for. If anything, I try everything I can to cheer him up or make him feel happier. But somehow I feel it's damned if I do and damned if I don't. Cuz no matter what I do, he always finds a reason to be pissed at me, or at the minimum something to blame on me.
I have a bad temper, but that's in general, and I don't blame him. I may get angry, but it's not necessarily at him. However, I do have a good heart, a good mind, and a good soul. Every day i think about what can I do for him that he would like, or what would be nice to do for him, and how much I love him. I sometimes call him with just the intentions of wanting to tell him so, but like yesterday, I ended up getting screamed at.
It seams as tho every time he may be angry at the world, i end up getting a piece of that hatred. He has done many good things for me and I for him, but it has come down to this. I have tried telling him about his hatred and that I don't deserve ANY of it, but it seems like he can't control it. Anger is one thing, but hatred is a whole other beast. I have anger problems, but I think that his problem is far deeper and maybe the source of all his problems. He has hatred problems...and his hatred is killing us.
If he won't try to work on this, I am about an inch away from walking out on him for good. What are your opinions about this?
Since this last out lash of his, he has not spoken to me and won't answer the phone. I left a message telling him I don't know what his problem is and that I have done nothing wrong to deserve this. As time ticks by in silence, I am pretty much coming to the decision of breaking up with him. I have tried to help him and even got us reading the Bible together every Sunday, but I think I have been patient enough. I'm coming to the conclusion that I may have to leave him for good and let God take this one.
Could he possibly be bi polar? They do have meds for that and at least both of you would understand why he has the mood swings. And where does the hate come from? It sounds like he needs more personal counseling more than a couple counseling. You have admitted your problem with a temper and take steps to keep it in tack.
I would ask him to do some personal counseling. If he refuses tell him it takes two in making a relationship work. If he wont go alone then you would be happy to do the couples counseling with him if necessary. Tell him you still care for him and that is why you would also like him to see a counselor to help himself that it hurts you to see him this way. This is not the type of relationship you want to be in the rest of your life so if he is not willing to help himself then you are moving on. Defiantly pray to God to lead you in the right direction. I wish you the best.
If nothing else works hit him on the head with a Louie Ville slugger and knock some sense into him. I Had to pun a little. lol