Anger Management Support Group
Anger management commonly refers to therapeutic techniques by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can control or reduce their emotions. Typical examples include the use of deep breathing and meditation as a means to relaxation. Psychologists recommend a balanced approach, which both controls the emotion and allows it to express itself in a healthy way.
Sounding Off!
Tired of people coming to me expecting me to "do something" about injustices that go on at a 12 step phone meeting, where the chair people "wield" their power, cutting off people's shares and don't let others have their turn (even though they're on the list for sharing) -- because the meeting is scheduled for 1 hour exactly.
No one wants to address the problem, and I'm standing there trying to fight the battle of the underdog. "let go and let god." More like "Let go and let others run roughshod all over the damn thing -- turning it into an unpleasant experience." Aka: Burying head in the sand.
So much for recovery.
the "Traditions" go disregarded (pesky things!) as people make up their own rules. Screw "Group Conscience." Or they blame the group conscience for the reason to be extremely rude and abrupt, letting some people talk forever and cutting off others abruptly. So much for it being a "Gentle, Loving" program. Group Conscience does not mean it's a clique. Explain that to these bozos! It's supposed to be "Principles, not Personalities." This phone meeting is All about Personalities.
A bunch of addicts with addict-like, control freaky behavior.
I'm angry and tired of being the mouthpiece. No wonder people resort to drinking and other drugs!
And that's my bitch 'n moan for the night. Because no one wants to do a thing about it, Or feel too insecure to stand up and say anything. There's no one to "report" to. It's a friggin' free-for-all of insensitive assholes.
Tired of people coming to me expecting me to "do something" about injustices that go on at a 12 step phone meeting, where the chair people "wield" their power, cutting off people's shares and don't let others have their turn (even though they're on the list for sharing) -- because the meeting is scheduled for 1 hour exactly.
No one wants to address the problem, and I'm standing there trying to fight the battle of the underdog. "let go and let god." More like "Let go and let others run roughshod all over the damn thing -- turning it into an unpleasant experience." Aka: Burying head in the sand.
So much for recovery.
the "Traditions" go disregarded (pesky things!) as people make up their own rules. Screw "Group Conscience." Or they blame the group conscience for the reason to be extremely rude and abrupt, letting some people talk forever and cutting off others abruptly. So much for it being a "Gentle, Loving" program. Group Conscience does not mean it's a clique. Explain that to these bozos! It's supposed to be "Principles, not Personalities." This phone meeting is All about Personalities.
A bunch of addicts with addict-like, control freaky behavior.
I'm angry and tired of being the mouthpiece. No wonder people resort to drinking and other drugs!
And that's my bitch 'n moan for the night. Because no one wants to do a thing about it, Or feel too insecure to stand up and say anything. There's no one to "report" to. It's a friggin' free-for-all of insensitive assholes.
It actually is really bad for recovery. Anger that is. I am filled with rage all the time, and I finally joined this group, to start to address it.
And as you said, no wonder people resort to drugs and drink. I worked in a Bartending job most of my life, and believe me, it turned me into the hermit I am today. Thanks for the topic, I feel you.
It's that simple.
AA works.
Attending 12 step meetings and accepting it's philosophy is one of the biggest regrets and decisions of my life, I lost a good number of productive years listening to very neurotic and inbalanced delusional people, it's a cult.
I find that since in 12 step programs we're a group of addicts, ironically there is addict behavior. A lot of it. Especially on the Telephone Meetings. A lot of control freaking going on. I find some use "God" as their weapon of choice. And that drives me berserk. Because some get downright judgmental, acting as if I'm not truly in recovery because I'm not doing it their way. This happens more on the Telephone Meetings.
I'm just trying to find a way to stay free of my addictions. I recently joined a "Face-to-Face" CoDA (Codependents Anonymous) 12 step group and I am finding it very helpful. But I really struggle with the whole god concept.
When I find that I get frustrated and upset by the politics of the Telephone meetings (and the people who manipulate others in it), I have to step away and take care of myself.
It all comes down to balance. And Letting go.
I cannot control others (as much as I'd like to -- Ha!) and the only thing I can do is choose how I'm going to respond. For a long time, tinderhart, I have isolated & withdrawn. A long time. It's been very damaging for far too long. So I'm now starting to explore the world around me again. CoDA feels promising to me -- because the only requirement for membership is a desire for "healthy relationships." Well, who the heck doesn't want THAT? LoL
I think a "good" meeting is where people remember that it is a "Gentle, Loving program." I'm finding that the Telephone meetings I'm on -- it's like dealing with a bunch of wizards behind the curtain, trying to control the land of Oz. If we were all to be "face to face" (at an actual meeting in person together) -- I think people would behave much more appropriately and impeccably as they have to be accountable to themselves and others. Same happens with the online groups, too.
I don't know about the Stats of success. I just know I cannot afford therapy anymore. I've spent years & money and didn't get the tools that I needed. I find that the 12 steps can be like an adjunct therapy, offering various tools (even though it purports that it is "not" therapy). So much of it is self-guided (unless one had a great Sponsor to help lead the way without imbuing their own control issues -- or if one believes that a "higher power" is doing the guiding). I work "my program" in the only way I know how. I seem to be getting what I need from it. But am I a dyed-in-the-wool 12-stepper? nah.
I literally go with their motto: "Take what you want, Leave the rest."
But I cannot stand the politics. Unfortunately, I find where there are toxic personalities, there are politics. And when I'm helpless to change the toxicity of how people manipulate and influence, I get angry. Hence, here I am. Sigh.
Thanks for listening and for your support and thoughts on the subject.
((Hugs))
I hope you find some healing here, tinderhart. Rage is so exhausting, isn't it? Go easy on yourself as you go thru detox. You're doing the best you can right now. That's all anyone can do.
I'm so sorry that you felt you lost so many years to the neurotics & psychotics, naturalwreck. Perhaps you can take what you've learned "what not to do" when dealing with these people and let that inform how you now deal with people? Certainly I have had so many run-ins with people who have leveraged their power and meanness, I figure that at some point, I gotta get to "Expert" Level on handling these crazymakers. Huh.
I'm so glad that AA has been a huge support in your life LindaJean and has helped you create the life you now embrace. Thank you for giving me hope that it does and can work.
((Hugs to you all))
Does it ever occur to these people that they may be projecting their own anger onto the words of the other person? NA
Does it occur to them that differences of opinion are what makes this safe? NA
Does it occur to them to reach out and offer some sympathy? If thye relly think things SEEM off, what the heck are the getting busy yelling for? Don
t know