Deborah, I commented on her last post...here is what I said in case... the ignore button we should all utilize at times...doesnt allow you to see her posts or responses. Love ya and everyone here. Janel

this was my reply... sorry didnt copy it last time


I read this and wondered what have I missed because I was totally confused.

I believe what others were trying to say in the other post is...and you might not find this to be factual but we as "family caregivers" took offense to your "harshness" in your tone of advice. I think we all mean well when we put our suggestions out there. But being a fellow Nurse who is now disabled, and understand you saying...Ive taken care of Alz patients...as I have too. YOU arent realizing the difference in an Alz patient you care for for 12 hours per shift... Compared to a spouse, a parent or other loved one that you have known all your life, and deal with 24/7 and then some... The difference is not comparable to what we dealt with with "strangers". You have way more emotional involvement with a loved one. You cant walk away from them, you cant force them to do what you can the average Alz patient.

Therefore I agree your advice as meant to be helpful...lacked the actual "INVOLVEMENT" and understanding of going through it yourself with your own loved one (which I dont wish on anyone). It just came acrossed as "JUDGEMENT and BLAME" in fact you yourself used the word blame...several times. And no one on this forum is to BLAME in how their loved ones care culminates. We are still allowing them dignity, comfort, and compassion even if the Outsider doesnt see it that way...WE are all doing everything in our power to make their lives as independant as possible and as peaceful as can be. I hope you are never put in the position to see how this feels, a situation you (WE) have no control over or how the outcome might be. I wish you well, but you were a bit to harsh in your comments.

I apologize if this also seems harsh, but I said what I said...to maybe help you understand...not to make things worse. But that is my opinion, take it or leave it. Im done with the critisism this will bring about.

HUGS TO ALL OF US
Janel

Very good post Janel, you said it very well for all of us.

she does not care for a loved one with alz and knows NOTHING about what it takes. It is all together different when the patient is someone you love. therefore she has no business dispensing advice to us on that subject. she seems totally heartless and uncaring.
several of us have reported her for being so hard on poor Deborah and we have also ignored her future posts. Her last one I read was very nasty.

I, agree. We should not respond to any future posts.

I sent one last comment to her... but because she made a comment about having to sugar coat things.

Im done... but find it amazing how someone that should Know better, can have so little empathy... and she is a nurse. Like I told her, she is in nursing for a paycheck, she doesnt have the empathy necessary for the position.

Im done.

WOW! You guys are great, i am so glad I have you in my life, thank you. thank you,

I like your new avatar Jelmo, it shows you are getting your spunk back!

Janel, I believe you spoke of all of us. We find strength through each other that are going through this journey .I have been helped tremendously by the kind people in this group.

There was no reason at all for her to take the tone she did. You are doing just fine. Only spouses can understand the least bit of what you are going through.Hurt one of us and we all react. I have learned and used ignore with her. Such cases are just why it is there. . Have a better day today. Hugs. Sandy

Wasn't on here yeaterday so missed all the hupla .......but agree completely with the comments here. Deb you are an amazing caregiver and know exactly what you are doing , as well as any of us do. We struggle through and do our best and what we don't know we try to learn. Rollie is a blessed man to have you. I too as you said thought perhaps I was misreading the comments made by the new person but apparently everyone read it the same as I did. Some people just don't know how to relate to others and it is sad that one found there way here.

We all know how we feel, how we care and how we admire each other for giving it our all in the most difficult of challeneges.

I think we are all in agreement that ignoring is the best thing to do. D

I missed all this too...... Wow! Deb, I had no idea she had gone after you. I called her a bitch at one point but she evidently doesn't remember what my name is. I really don't care. She DOES NOT want to get into a fight with me.

She's not a well person and I should feel sorry for her but I'll leave that for another group.

I did comment on her last post, but I am done as well. I hope she finds the help she so badly needs. As for the rest of you, I am so happy you have all became a part of my life. I don't think anyone will want to mess with us. We are like a pack of wolves.

I think you said it Dibbie....you don't mess with our young!!

she obviously needs help and I hope she gets it, but it won't be on this site as her problem has nothing to do with AD.

I followed quietly for awhile, but am pushing the ignore button as well when I am done here.

deborah, you are doing a great job, I knew from the 1st post of hers that she did not belong here. We all know what a loving person you are and you can believe that Rollie knows it too.
Hugs........
Carolyn

WOW - I'm just catching up with what has been going on. It,s amazing how people can say stuff and not understand why others could/would get upset, Just not worth the trouble of replying... it's waisted on certain indivials anyway.

I'm with you ladies and gents, do not let someone get the better of you. You are all doing a fantastic job and all deserve medals. Cause I'm not sure if I could do it.

...we have and will continue to make a safe haven here....

our strength cannot be broken.....

This is the kindest and most encouraging group, I've ever come across.......we will stand together and continue to help and uplift each other.

Love you all
dd