Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...

378 Members
2,774 Posts
0 Online
Seniors
/ Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

what would you think?

Deborah48
Deborah48
my step daughter sent me an email saying she was going to send her dad a gift and I replied, that's nice and did she mind if I asked her if she was uncomfortable about her dad's illness, is that why she didn't come see him.

and her answer was, "I'm sorry he's sick and riddled with guilt' but she has too many other things going on.

Well, I told her in no uncertain not to darken our doorway ever again and now she's whining, "what did she say? she doesn't understand." boo hoo
Jamr41
Jamr41
Well... I think if she is 'riddled with guilt' now.. how will she feel when he no longer knows her, or is gone ? Will she feel better then, or more guilty ?

I know people are uncomfortable with this disease, but sometimes in this life you have to suck it up and do the right thing.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am glad you said that. I wouldn't want a gift sent for mom from a daughter that wouldn't come to visit. It's sad that so many people just ignore their relatives that get this horrid disease. They'll be sorry when the loved one passes.

Good for you!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Everyone deals with illness differently. I don't think we can expect everyone to be like us as the caregiver. My brother does not want to even call. I can't blame him. Illness of any kind is very difficult, especially a chronic non curable disease. Friends and family usually do keep a distance. There are all the old family disputes and irritations and illness does not bring people closer...not unless you really try to set aside all the past.

I have taken my brothers attitude as he's doing the best he can. I do not distance him and keep the level of relationship at what we can all deal with. It has helped over the years of my mother's illness. He is still my best friend, even though it is at a distance.

You may find your step daughter's friendship is worth something to you later on and let her find her way to deal, keeping her and you still talking and in touch. Just a suggestion.

Sometimes we forget that we are dealing, some times just barely, but that others would rather run.
Best of luck on this to you.
GeorgiaW
GeorgiaW
UNFORTUNATELY THE NUMBER OF FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS WHO BAIL WHEN DISESE STRIKES IS WAY TO HIGH. I'M SURE MANY JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY OR DO BUT THE SAD TRUTH IS MANY JUST DON'T WANT TO UPSET THEIR LIVES BY DEALING WITH IT, THEY ARE TO DAMN SELF ABSORBED.
IS THIS ONE OF THE STEPS WHO HAVE BEEN A PAIN IN THE BUTT FOR YOU ALL ALONG? IF SO STICK TO YOUR GUNS, HOW SHE FEELS WHEN HE DIES WILL BE HER PROBLEM NOT YOURS AND IF SHE CAN'T SUPPORT YOU AND HIM NOW WHO NEEDS HER THEN? IF I REMEMBER RIGHT YOU DO HAVE FAMILY THAT IS LOVING AND CARING AND HELPS, FOCUS ON THEM
Deborah48
Deborah48
OMG! yes, this is the daughter who has been a brat for a long time and she called the sheriff and told them to come and check on 'her dad because she was worried he's being abused"!!!!!!!!!!! I mean seriously, it's 9 PM on a Saturday night, we were in bed and the sheriff comes to our door!
Jamr41
Jamr41
HMMM me thinks if anyone is being abused here - her name might be Deb.

It is one thing like Linda said when someone just can't deal with
things - I understand that. A complete OTHER thing when there is
back stabbing, and cruel remarks about the care you give.

Forget it (her), Deb. You know, we know you are doing everything possible for your husband.