I've been thinking about this for a while...

what I would do if I could was...start my life over......

Inmeme- in a way you will be starting your life anew

Yes, yes, yes, count me in on the roadtrip, and the cruise, and whatever else. I have been so blue lately thinking of all the places I could be going. Just wondering if I will ever get through this. I just pray God gives me the perserverence I need, and that I will still be able to go and do when I get through this. Listen to me, I sound SO selfish.

DeeJD, You are not being selfish. I have had that same feeling in the past too. Giving=loving. That is what most of us caregivers are......loving people who have been given a real challenge that sometimes takes us to feelings and emotions that make us feel guilty. We are the total opposite of selfish.

I knew 25 years ago when my hubby went into a wheelchair that our future was not going to be what we had imagined. It is difficult when you learn at a fairly young age that your hopes and dreams will never come to be. But we all seem to go on and do what we all feel needs to be done to provide the best possible care we can to our loved ones. We need to be more understanding and less judgmental of ourselves. That is why I come to this website.......a place where people truly understand. Hang in there and stop by often when you need to get a dose of kindness and understanding......Jeanmarie

I want to take a road trip in a convertible Mustang.....naked. I think there's something quite telling in the fact that most of us want that road trip.

Or a cruise....... naked.

What a great thread. It's interesting to hear what you all hope for in your future. At first I was a little startled to realize that you dream so fondly of the time when your loved one is gone but I understand the feeling. My MIL spent 6 months in the hospital dying because some doctors felt it was necessary to keep her alive through artificial means. Her end was a blessing.

As my parents begin this journey my mom is taking a mixed stand on travel. Over the past 20 years they have taken at least one major trip each year. Now they accept that those trips are done. Yet yesterday my mother told me they will be traveling 1,000 miles to go to my neices wedding next January. I am dreading this since I know it would be difficult now and probably impossible in another year.

I'm wondering if you guys did the traveling you talk about before the illness set in or if you were waiting for the "golden" years that never came? I know we can never plan our lives perfectly since we have no crystal ball. But my eyes are being opened more each day as I consider and accept that tomorrow may not be what we expect.

In my case, my life was picture book normal while we raised children, worked and played as a family. My husband and I would have our coffee in the evening and discuss what life would be like after he retired and the children were off and on their own. Then....life happened, moving, foreclosure, divorce, jobs, illness, death. They all took their toll. We never took big vacations, just small weekend trips since we were putting everything away in savings for "later". My later is not having anything in my name but my car and that's not paid for. My children live half a country away and I'm here taking care of my mother. This is my "Golden Years" I'm hoping I'll have some years left to enjoy travel and see friends but maybe not. I don't know what the future holds. It's one day at a time. I try to find something in each to enjoy and at least once a week do something "fun" for me. It's a good life I have going on here. When I stop and consider what it could have been ...... well...... I don't. Why do that? But, I do consider the fact that I'm living in a house with 2 dogs, fabulous friends, enough money to have a few hours of fun time a week, have my own car ~ the list is endless. I own a computer to reach out to you. I could be living under the toll road bridge in Dallas without food, heat and a phone.

I was looking at another web site and they actually have cruises for caregivers. I suppose the spouse can come to. We need to really plan one.

I'm dreaming of a cabin in the woods .
Fire in the fireplace and a stack of good books.
Taking long walks or hikes through the forest.
Taking the longest breath I could and smell all the fresh air.

I'm up for the cruise and road trip too.

Thank you, Pam, for putting things in perspective so beautifully. You are indeed a very special person.

DeeJD. How can we find out about the cruise for caregivers. Can you get us info? Maybe we ought to plan it. I know most of us have very little money at the present time, but it is at least worth looking into.

Dee, yes, let's check into that cruise line, please.

I googled "cruises for caregivers" and there is a LOT of info there.....

I was thinking of cruise later, but maybe NOW is the time...


read, my friends, and let's talk/ fantasize, maybe we want to/could do this/maybe Oprah will film us for her new network doing this!!!!!

What do you think?

I think I want to dance and lie in a hammock with a lovely blanket etc....LOOKS GOOD!!!!!

Count me in on the cruise OR the road trip someday. I can only imagine how much fun we would have. We could eat, drink and be merry and soak up some of that sunshine! Oh it does feel good to dream!

LOL Its good to dream, it makes life more exciting

I work for my self I have 1 employee and it is very hard to get away especially since I have mom to care for everyday to feed, walk and make sure she is OK. But if I could get away, I would go to Haifa Israel. See pictures at the below website.

http://www.bahaipictures.com/

I would love also to take a road trip with my sister and stop by to see all of you in the way.
You are all welcome to come to see me. I am in Maryland.