Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...

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weird incident

Deborah48
Deborah48
As we were driving home from the store, this evening (it was dark) my husband asked me what I was going to do with him, did I usually just pick people up like this and did I think that was right? I said, that we were going home and that I was his wife and I took care of him. A few minutes later he said, 'So are you going to kill me and throw my body on the side of the road?" I had to pull over. I asked him some questions, it seems like he thought I was a stranger and I had kidnapped him and he was worried I was going to kill him! After I pulled over and was able to look him in the face with the car dome light he saw my full face in the light and recognized that I was wife. He was really relieved! and we hugged and then he was fine the rest of the way home. How scared he must have been, we don't usually go places in the dark, usually do our errands in the daylight.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I love how understanding and caring you are to him and his illness. I hate thinking about my dad being afraid like that. your husband is very luck to have you.
GeorgiaW
GeorgiaW
Ah Deb, that just breaks my heart, in your spot I'd make sure he was not out at night again...I don't think we really understand how this disease affects their sight, we know it affects everything else so why not that too. Poor sweet soul, you and your husband.
The last few days all Neal has wanted to do is nap unless the television is on. We normaly go to bed around ten pm and then he is not up until close to noon. But he goes to sleep almost as soon as he sits in his chair and then I feed him and he's back to sleep for most of the afternoon until I feed him dinner. At least he is staying awak as long as the television is going but I do worry that this is the early signs of him entering a new stage.
Pam65
Pam65
Deb, your story is almost funny if it weren't so heart breaking. How sad for you, how scary for him. I think we all may have learned a lesson from your experience. I know I did. Out and about in the dark is not a good thing with Alzheimer patients. Sorry you had to be the teacher though........
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your post literally made me cry. Am I crying for you or your husband? I am not sure. Both of you and all of the rest of us, I guess. I feel very sensitive about our difficult situations today. Thank you for your post. I will be thinking about you today.
Jamr41
Jamr41
That touched my heart.... how awful for him. These poor souls should not have to know that kind of fear. And, how awful for you.

I can't imagine how he must have felt. Georgia may be right.. nighttime outings may need to be limited.

Change, change, change..
deleted_user
deleted_user
That is heart breaking, we do so much to make sure they are safe and to have him worry about such an awful thing.
Do you think he might have pick up something from a TV program.?
I know I need to be very careful what Kens watch's especially if it has bugs in it or people in water. Just when you think they aren't picking anything up as they watch he gets the part that scares him.
I am so glad that as soon as he say it was you he was okay.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Your patience, your words, and your actions were the perfect solution. I am so glad you shared your story. Your reaction came so naturally for you but I beleive many readers react with frustration to such irrational fears. I believe your situation (although sad and hurtful for you) helped others as they deal with similar situations. Many in my family get frustrated when dealing with my mother's unrealistic concerns. When they treat her impatiently or condescendingly, it makes it worse. I often suggest to them other things to say. I'm pleased I have your story to pass along to them. Again, thank you for sharing it.
Deborah48
Deborah48
I think many people have a hard time lowering their expectations which is what you have to do with ALZ. If you are expecting adult, mature, reasonable behavior you are going to be frustrated. I can't change him I can only change my reaction to him.
Jamr41
Jamr41
Perfectly worded, Deb.