Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
I have not been back on this site for many months and I look forward to catching up with people I may still know.
My husband seems to have reached the infancy stage in this devastating desease. He screams and cries before meals, eats well, then screams again until he drops off to sleep. It is a piercing scream and cry and I end up keeping him in his room a lot of the time so as not to agitate other residents.
He still has an indwelling catheter but has been doing better in the way of avoiding UTIs which is a blessing.
I go in to see him for every meal so I'm spending several hours at the nursing home each day. It's so incredibly hard to see him like this and I feel so helpless as nothing will soothe him when he is having his screaming sessions. Of course he cannot tell us whether he is in any pain and I am not about to put him through tests that could be painful.
His family has totally disowned us so this journey is all the more difficult.
I still can't believe how a brother whom my husband adored could do this to him.
I had a knee replacement earlier this year and am still not quite back to normal.
My husband seems to have reached the infancy stage in this devastating desease. He screams and cries before meals, eats well, then screams again until he drops off to sleep. It is a piercing scream and cry and I end up keeping him in his room a lot of the time so as not to agitate other residents.
He still has an indwelling catheter but has been doing better in the way of avoiding UTIs which is a blessing.
I go in to see him for every meal so I'm spending several hours at the nursing home each day. It's so incredibly hard to see him like this and I feel so helpless as nothing will soothe him when he is having his screaming sessions. Of course he cannot tell us whether he is in any pain and I am not about to put him through tests that could be painful.
His family has totally disowned us so this journey is all the more difficult.
I still can't believe how a brother whom my husband adored could do this to him.
I had a knee replacement earlier this year and am still not quite back to normal.
His brother is probably feeling helpless and trying to protect himself emotionally. I would try inviting him to visit at a meal time when your husband is calmer. Most people cannot handle the upset that they see in a nursing home and especially can't handle the changes in their loved one. I would keep them posted about major changes and give them opportunities to visit if they wish to. But accept, for your own peace, that they may not be able to.
The screaming and wailing in some patients is frustrating but unfortunately for some, it's part of the digression. I don't believe that there's much documented on the causes of it. Mostly what's looked at with the patients is what may be the "triggers" that bring it on and try to alleviate those issues. Firstly, though I would assume that they're doing a medical evaluation to ensure it's nothing that's causing physical pain. Since he's not screaming while eating then it's probably not painful. Sometimes these screaming sessions are caused due to lack of stimulation or changes in scheduled activities or meal times?
It's such a shame that his family won't be involved. I know that there are a lot of people that are very afraid of Alzheimers but what would cause them to disown your husband is a bit of a mystery.
I hope you are feeling back to normal soon.
Best
PD
Tigg2, unfortunately we are well past the time that I could invite my brother-in-law to visit. He was extremely nasty in my last contact with him, over 2 years ago now and failed to come to my mom's funeral a year and a half ago. . I'm told by a cousin of theirs that he "can't bear to see his brother like this." He professed to love my mom so much but not enough to see her just before she died and then for the funeral. He was always sarcastic with me and from what I have seen he is not a sensitive person so I don't buy the excuses.
I know in my heart and my head that I have done everything possible for my husband and am a devoted wife so it no longer bothers me what he thinks, whatever that is.
The doctor has increased my husband's pain and anxiety meds and he has been a bit more peaceful the last couple of weeks. He still resists personal care and screams through that but it has always been that way. At least he is not aggressive.
Since the only family I have left now is my son it is not easy. Thankfully I do have supportive friends though and that helps.
peace to you....
I know the feeling about other family members acting like they could care less...if my siblings had their way,they would lock my father up and be done with him..that is why when I was growing up my mother knew my siblings couldn't be trusted and had me promise never to put them in a home and I"m keeping my promise no matter what!
Unfortunately, even if I had the means I would not have been able to manage unless I moved to a home that would accomodate a huge wheel chair and hoyer lift. It takes 2 people at the nursing home to change, bathe and dress my husband. Then there is the issue of indwelling catheter and constant infections.
I have finally come to accept that seeing him for several hours a day and watching like a hawk that he gets good care is the best I can do.
Each time I leave the home I feel a sadness which has only lessened a little in the two and half years he has been there.
Last night he had an angry expression in his face and really did not acknowledge me at all. It is so very hard not knowing what if anything is going on in his mind.
I'm going to a movie this afternoon with a very supportive girl friend so I hope that helps raise my spirits a bit.