Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...

378 Members

2,774 Posts

1 Online

ingelo 12/03/2011

It has been a very stressful 3 months with mom's health deteriorating day by day. She broke her hip at the end of Octobe, never recovered, and passed away yesterday. I spent ages looking at nursing homes, hoping she could go where my husband is only to be told that was not possible. The hospital wanted her out and she would have had at least 3 moves. I'm glad she was spared that and is at peace though I miss her so much.
I think my husband picked up on my upset today. He kicked me and spat at me, finally yelling in his first language he would kill me. It was very upsetting and I left. I won't go back in today. I need a break.
Just thought in case anyone noticed that I hadn't posted for a while,
these were the reasons.

Jamr41 12/03/2011

Oh you poor dear. What a stressful time you've had.
You are certainly deserving of a break.

Please take care of yourself for a change. You need and deserve it.

Judy

deleted_user 12/03/2011

I am so very sorry for all you are going through with your husband ......and the loss of you mother.

You are in my prayers dear friend.....Love Sherri

Jelmo99 12/04/2011

Glad to see you back but so very sorry for your loss, and the added stress of what you are dealing with with your hubby. Extra hugs coming your way.

Hang in there, the next few weeks will be difficult and come back as often as you can for some moral support and internet hugs.

Janel

ingelo 12/04/2011

thank you, dear internet friends. A lot of my support comes from far away. My two good friends live in Germany and all my relatives on my mom's side are in South Africa. That is not to say I don't have good friends here and they have been truly wonderful.
It's the time of year that adds to the stress. I guess it will be Christmas with my husband at the nursing home.
He has been very aggressive towards me lately which does not make it easy to visit.
I must sound like a real whiner but thanks for reading and being there.

tabby2010 12/04/2011

I am so soory to hear about your mom passing away. Make sure that you take care of yourself I am here if you ever want or need to talk.

inmemoryofhattie 12/04/2011

Dear Ingelo,

I am so sorry for your loss of your mother......

coming here and telling us what is happening and your feelings in NOT whining...please come here as you want and need, we all struggle with these things.....

It sounds like a bad stretch of time.......hugs

deleted_user 12/05/2011

Dear ingelo,

I'm sorry for your loss. Sending you lots of hugs and prayers during this difficult time.
Patricia

Pam65 12/05/2011

I'm so sorry to hear of what you've just gone through. I agree with Judy. You need a break. You've had enough for awhile.

Pam

ingelo 12/05/2011

thanks again, dear cyber friends. I feel a bit better today as my husband let me give him some breakfast after he hadn't eaten for days and he has lost so much weight. Of course he gave me a good kick in the shins before that but it was worth the pain!
I'm off to make final arrangements for my mom' s service today and will be very glad when this week is over.
Then I can concentrate on clearing out the apartment and spending more time with my husband.

deleted_user 12/05/2011

One devastating life event at a time. You are an exceptional woman. God Bless you and may He bring you a little peace soon....Love Sherri

loveyorks 12/05/2011

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Hugs.

ingelo 12/10/2011

We had a b eautiful service for my mom yesterday. She would have been very pleased.
Our son stayed overnight and when we went to see my husband this morning he was all smiles. It was a real gift. Of course by this evening he was back to himself but at least we had a good hour this morning.
I don't know if he understood about my mom's passing. I doubt it but how does one ever know what goes on in the minds of someone in the later stages of Alzheimer's?

inmemoryofhattie 12/10/2011

Dear ingelo,

I am so glad you could feel comforted by your mother's service....wishing you healing and peace.....hugs......

deleted_user 12/11/2011

I am so happy that your dear Mom's service brought you some peace and your son was there with you and you both could also take some pleasure in your husbands 'good" morning!

At last a few nice things for you.....God Bless..Sherri

ingelo 12/11/2011

I was glad for yesterday. Today is another day and my husband is back to being difficult and not eating a thing. I have a feeling he is giving up and I'm not going to push him. It's no way to live and I know he wouldn't want it. I just hope the end doesn't come until I have had a chance to mourn the loss of my mom.
I dread going to her apartment tomorrow to keep on packing. It's so very hard.
Inge

Join the Conversation