Ron had two pain break outs where he was waving his arms and moaning....and in pain, they did both liquid morphine and liquid ativan immediately I patted him throughout the episode and it stopped.....Ron was also on a Phentynal patch for pain....

Ron's head was completely thrust forward...he couldn't hold it in position and we had to create ways to support it.....for a while we used a teddy bear,,,that worked best as it was very soft and pliable but had enough support for his head and breathing.....

Ron needed mild suctioning at the end

He needed to have two nurses reposition him every two hours....

I and the aides and nurses did mouth care with swabs and I also injected 1-2 cc's at a time liquid to moisten his mouth,,,,

i washed his face often with warm water and his neck to try to create more comfort....

another thing to expect is breathing changes...there can be period of apnea, or lack of breathing, The sign to me that Ron was actually finally dying was when his breathing changed after being regular for a while......

Both Ron and I were anointed and blessed by an Episcopal priest which i found very comforting and a Catholic lay person stopped in and gave a blessing...also comforting to me.....


Also ask Hospice what you might expect....


Blessings.....

Jim's last night was hard for me. His breathing was horrible and he was on a full oxygen mask. I sat by his bed, holding the mask on so he could breathe a little better and I never stopped talking, telling him how much I loved him. He was suctioned a couple of times and his vitals were taken every hour or two.

The chaplain came in the room to be with us and she prayed.

A lab technician came and instead of taking more blood, prayed with us

Hospice came in the early morning and stayed with me until he died at 11;35 a.m.

The one thing I regret is that I couldn't get in bed and hold him one last time but he had too many tubes which made it impossible.

Jim was calm throughout the night, except for the breathing. I just sat as close to him as i could and cried and talked and cried and talked.

Ron had a mass or something that popped up in his abdomen and it was causing pain. His last 3 days were painful and he was on morphine. He couldn't tell us he was in pain but we could tell when he moved about and the pained look on his face. He was awake some and followed me around with his eyes. I held his hand, rubbed his arms and talked to him when he was awake. My voice seemed to offer some comfort. I, also, swabbed his mouth out frequently.
The last day his breathing changed and his eyes seemed to have a hollow , sunken look. The last hours his breathing was hard and shallow... it reminded me of my coffee pot. Now, I think of those last moments every morning as my coffee pot is finishing.
During the last minutes our entire family was surrounding his bed,
I held his hand and touched his face and forehead as I told him it was OK to go. I thanked him for a good life, and asked him to save me a seat. Finally his breathing came less and less .. then there was a couple of big gasps and it was over.
Even though I was in a room surrounded by people who loved me - I never felt more alone.

I still wish I had been in the room with him when he passed, but it seems like maybe he waited until I walked out. I had just wiped his face and stroked his hair. I also swabbed his mouth. He was calm the last 36 hours before he passed and just took a couple last deep breaths. My sister was in the room with him at least. I was not with either of my parents when they died either and I feel like I'm missing something. But it is done. And I am thankful that they are no longer suffering. All these stories bring it all back and the tears are rolling down my cheeks. How much sadness can we stand?

The day before my dad passed away he didn't open his eyes but it was plain that he was still aware of his surroundings as he would bump his knees together whenever me or Mom would kiss him or speak to him as if he was saying, I know you're here. At about 9:00am on a Sunday morning he began to stop breathing and if we spoke to him he would start again. His blood pressure began to drop and the nurses stayed in the room, checking him every half hour. Finally the head nurse told us, "it's time to let him go." So when he stopped breathing again, we sat silently and wept as the angels carried him home. It was peaceful and we were relieved for this wonderful man was finally free from this terrible disease.

Deborah,sometimes the dying make a loud rattling sound with each breath.If unexpected it can sound very frightening,or like you should be doing something to help them breathe easier.However,this is a normal part of the dying process,and they are not suffering.

Please do not be afraid,it is usually a very peaceful time.Respirations become less regular,with gaps getting longer between each breath,pulse rate and BP go down.Finally,they just stop breathing all together. Shortly before death you may notice skin color changes,usually starting in the feet and working it's way up.The skin appears dusky or has a purplish hue.It will look blotchy.

Quite often people are incontinent of bowel and/or urine near the time of death.Do not worry about this.Hospice is aware,and will take care of it.

As I have reported here,a short time before my husband passed he seemed to wake just for a brief time,and reported that "everyone there wants me to go so I guess I will".It is also not unusual for the dying to have visions of deceased relatives and to call them by name.

God bless you and your sweet Mr.Rollie.I will always remember the story of him peeing in the laundry basket.I guess it stuck with me because it made me laugh so hard,on a day when I really needed to laugh.Blessings....Cheryl

My dear friend; I understand your needing to know as I felt the same way exactly. The end can be different for everyone but everything Strohm wrote in a post was right on with us.

My Robs pulse went up though to 100 beats a minute and they said no matter how strong his heart was he could not sustain that. They kept watching for "mottling" in the hands and feets . Purplish coloring presnts itself as all the blood rushes towards the vital organs trying to sustain them so leaves the furthest extremities in distress. Fever can come and go as the body is leaving. Longer gaps between breaths , can go up to 30 seconds.

We stayed with Rob until the funeral home came to take him and it wasn't until then that he had different color to his skin. He remained flushed actually for a while after passing as he had a fever prior. In our case his arms were limp severeal hours prior as I really beleive he was gone except for his heart beating.

They will immediately place something under the chin to hold the head proper until prepared. I told the funeral people I dfid not want a body bag and had him placed in a beautiful burgandy blanked wrapped around him almost like you do with a baby in a bunting and to leave his head exposed. They were most respectful and we watched him leave.

I don't know exactly how your time will be as i am sure not everyone is the same but your dear Rollie has had you and thats the best thing that ever happened to him.

Love Sherri

Mom and Dad both had complete different signs of leaving us. Dad had a strong heart and kept gasping for breath, mom her breathing just kept getting more shallow until she just stopped breathing, she has a peaceful death. Dad struggled but they both were christians. I know where they both are. dad had the mottleing but mom did not. Hospice said it was different for everybody. Dad spiked the fever and then it was more downhill every day till the end.
bless u Deb.

Robs actual cause of death as listed on death certificate was ...

Aspiration Pneumonia (3 days)..as a consquence of Dysphagia (weeks)...as a consequence of Lewy Body dementia(years)