Deb, I have decided to wait till after the holidays to deal with all that stuff. The holidays are hard enough. I found out the hard way...went to moms the other day to get her bed for hubby after his surgery. I walked in, in tears, and left bawling like a baby. I ended up packing up the things off her dresser and that killed me just to put them in a box. I am JUST NOT ready!!!

You will know when the time is right, and the right thing to do with all those memorable things.
Loving hugs to you.
Janel

First thing I would do is make piles. A pile of things that you want, a pile of things that you want to give to people specifically (watch, jewelry, sweater, books) and then the rest. Give out the items from the special pile and then let your kids look through the last pile. Then if there is anything left call a veterans group to come get it.

Oh and the glasses can be donated too. They will reuse the frames.

I am leaving everything as it is...when the time is right I will know but it's not now!! I am in no rush to get rid of anything...right now it all still gives me some comfort.

I did send each of his brothers and our godsons something of his to keep. As for children and grandchildren here there is no rush, no one's going anywhere.

It's all still to raw and unreal. One day at a time is my new mantra...I can't think beyond that.

I think we will all find our own way through this or at least I hope we will. What works for one of us may not for another......there is no right or wrong.

My comments won't help, but here is what I have done.
All of the children were here in October (well before Janelle's passing) and they picked out what they wanted. I shipped it to them. Then, before Janelle's death, our Senior Helpers lady helped to gather things that janelle no longer needed and we gave them away. Now, after Janelle's death, there are only a few clothes to give away. By doing most ahead of time there is much less grief afterwards.
Bally

Deborah,I would suggest doing nothing right now.Or at least not getting rid of anything.In time you will be better able to decide what to do with each item.

Things that you can not bear to look at now,may be the very things that you may want to keep forever,given time to decide.
Yes it does hurt,and badly.You do not have to deal with this issue while your hurt is so raw.Take as much time as you need.Blessings ..............Cheryl

I put the things that I thought would mean a lot to the children in the future in a big old trunk. The trunk contains all of his military stuff , and things that were unique to him. I have also included all of the funeral stuff.

I have given away most of his clothes. There is still a complete outfit, jeans, shirt , jacket and pj's hanging on the back of his bathroom door. I loved to smell them but now after 6 mo. they are losing his scent. Is that wierd? I have given each of his sons, one his and one ours, keepsakes that were their dads. I have donated all but one pair of his glasses to the lions club...they reuse them also. It is different for everyone and you will know when it is good for you. I'm looking forward to spring as I think we should all feel much better by that time.
things always seem better then than in the winter.

I know, I hate winter!

I haven't done anything with Ron's things except for one donation.
I left all the stuff he had gone to the hospital with there....they were pretty well used up and I thought if they could use extras, why not....
His glasses were bent out of shape so I left them too, he was buried with the older glasses that were gold wire rims, more him anyway.....

I have told Brendan that when he feels ready he can look through his Dad's things and take what he would like....

I have NO idea when I will be ready to deal with his things. It's not that I can't touch it, I actually can wear his T necks and wool socks (especially the old fashioned cross country ski socks...they are toasty warm and comforting), I haven't even looked in the bag with his meds yet.....

I am struggling a lot with the realization that all in all I have had a hard life with huge amounts of illness and suffering and deaths and I am absolutely worn out ......and.....I have very little family left....

When the time comes, whenever that may be I am sure next steps will happen...

til then I do a daily NO-SNOW dance......

what i did with mom and dads things like glasses, dads knife, a lock of his hair his obit, among other special things , is made a shadow box with a glass from to display those things, i kept one of moms gowns and sometimes i just hold it close to me sometimes. i guess it's just up to the person. I know it would be different with a spouse.

Marriane,

It will happen when it is time and in its own way. But in the meantime, would you please do that "NO snow" dance hard enough to cover my area too? I am in the SW corner of PA so you better make it a good one. lol.

xox Carolyn

I went through my moms things and kept several pieces of jewelry, i am now wearing, makes me feel close to her. We still have most of her things, just keep putting it off.