Im sure we will be here next year. We will be stronger, and becase of what we have gone through, be able to encourage others who are just starting down this road. Its the hardest road we will probably ever travel. Somedays feel like giving up, but just keep on keepin on. I hope everyones Thanksgiving was good.
Hugs to all!

Myself and our 3 remaining children ane all looking forward to Christmas. We all plan to gather in Austin just after Christmas. My wife continues to hang in there and will hopefully still be with us and be able to make the trip. She won't know anything about it, but our children are looking forward to being with her at least one last time. Pray for us to make it until that time as we will pray for each of you that no one will go on before Christmas.
Bally

Prayers and good vibes flowing your way, Bally5. I hope this occasion goes exactly as you hope.

I thought Ron would still be here through this years holidays. I really thought he had more time. When things happened they happened so fast.

It is hard to remember all our "lasts"..

I am going to be very truthful. I sure hope my husband is not here next year for Christmas. This one is going to be hard enough. It makes me feel very selfish for saying that, but I am just saying what I truly feel. Just because I said that, he will probably be around for the next 10 Christmas's, but if he is, I can guarantee you that I probably won't be. I am in a "bummer" mood. I hope you are not paying much attention to me right now. I am just getting a lot of anger out.

Love to all of you for putting up with me.

Sharon

I really don't know and yes I have thought about it privately. I know I will be , ut in the same capacity I am not sure. I have seen drastic changes in the past three months, more than at any other time. Some of them I know are really not good and areindicative of possible getting closer to the last stage. Last time we saw the dr he said moderate to severe. I sadly think we are tipping deeper in to the severe. His speech rarely makes any sense, he barely reads anymore because I know it doesn't make sense to him, he is having trouble swallowing, balance going, muscle tone almost non-existant I could go on and on. He is still mobile and we do still get out now and then but it is getting harder and harder. Was hoping to get him to Fla at least for one month but not sure if I should tackle it. We wouldn't fly would take the auto train there and I would drive home (Ohio). Well just have to see. I just think it would be etter for oth of us to have some sunshine at least for part of the winter. Last year it went pretty well, went for two months ut he has slipped alot since then so just don't know. What do any of us really know this can stay the same for months or change in an instance.

Sharon- I do also sometimes think, "My God I hope He will take him soon."

I am sure mom will be here with me.
I used to feel burned out and wanted relief from her and myself. I am so thankful now that mom is in the home, even though I go there every day 2 times a day; it is so much better than her being here unhappy with me and me unhappy with her. I was so burned out and sick when she lived in the house with me. My husband was having a horrible time with it also. I am so thankful now that she is in the home. I don't have to worry about getting a sitter every moment of the day. I feel closer to her now and I can actually hug her more now because I am not mad at her for screaming or yelling or waking me up in the middle of the night or cleaning urine and poop everywhere. I feel so relieved.

I know what your guys are going through! I too wanted it to end and felt guilty for thinking of it.

I am reading this book, which I believe can help you as it did me. It is by Dr.GHADIRIAN, he explains that "we need to pray and meditate with the patient... this can comfort the soul and alleviate the pain. He further explains that "It helps us grow spiritually and moves us away from our self centeredness. To show love and care for someone who is helpless and impaired will help us develop the virtues we need in our journey through this world. It will serve as an impetus for spiritual growth."
The book is called Alzheimer's Disease and Eclipse before Sunset.
This book as helped me cope.
I hope this helps.
pina

I don't know if I have ever said this on DS before.. but will repeat it if I have.

For months I said a little prayer every morning when I woke. It was
"please give me the strength to get through today, and please let this be his last day".

I did have the strength to get through each day and one day it was his last day.

That brings a whole new set of feelings.. good and bad. This is a no win, no win, no win situation.

Thank you all for sharing your feelings here. It helps me to know that what I'm feeling is normal. I have a lot of anger right now towards my mom and often hope her time is short. Realistically, I know she will be here much longer, unless a heart problem takes her before Alz, and I just don't know how I can cope with this stage much longer. She's still quite 'with it' on some levels, but totally out there on others. Sometimes I think advancement would be easier. But if it doesn't happen soon, I'm afraid I will be so angry at her that I won't be able to love her again. She's very unhappy and there is nothing I can do or say that will make her happy. I've accepted that my job is to keep her safe and that I can't force her to be happy, but I hate this and I don't see an end in sight. And as soon as those thoughts go through my head, I know in my heart that I will feel guilty as hell when it's over for thinking such things.....

Deb & Sharon; I'm with you. God forgive us , but if we are being honest (which this is the one place we can be without being judged) haven't we all thought the same thing at one time or another? I think so...I know I have! For both our sakes.
Definition of Alzheimers....H-ll on earth! We can't help our thoughts.

yes, absolutely.

there is NO GOOD ANYTHING in this....