Welcome and vent away. We all do.. all have and all will continue to do so.

We are hear to listen and support you. We do not judge. Ask anything you want.. maybe one of us has experienced what you
are going through at the moment... and can help.

Some of us are beginning this sad journey.. some are where you are and some ( like me) have just finished. There is no good part.

Prayers and good vibes flowing your way.

Judy

Welcome, you will find this is a wonderful place to vent. the DS people are so friendly and supportive. I am reasonably new to this site also and most of the time felt like I was alone. You will find we are all going through the same things at different stages and with numerous other problems.

Just type away. We all understand and are not about to judge you for getting your feelings out.

yes, welcome and you really be amazed at the coping skills you develop, they will come to you. One thing, just don't argue back because it accelerates their anger.

This weekend we had company and my husband pooped in the living room right while everyone was there! (He had quietly slipped around the corner) I just got up cleaned him, cleaned the mess and went back to visiting. I mean what else could I do? Getting angry with him wouldn't have done any good. My friends are very familiar with my situation and they didn't pass judgment or anything. It is what it is.

Welcome.....hope you can find help and support here, I know I have....

Don't know if this would work for you: At one point earlier on I told Ron, my husband who is now severe late stage, that I did not mind caring for his needs....that it was ok with me to clean him, bathe him etc, but I emphasized that HIS PART of this was to COOPERATE with me, cause I COULD NOT do it without that....

So far so good, with a few blips and I always try to thanks him for being cooperative when I bathe him or clean him....

It was a bad day today. I usually go to a therapeutic pool for my arthritis once a week and we have a caregiver here during that time.
Lately my husband has become very agitated when he sees me get ready. Today I just made it to the parking lot where the pool is when I got a call from the caregiver. My husband was shouting in the background. I turned around quickly and came home. He had been trying to get the front door open and shouting for her to get out. He had thrown her clothes around and was just beside himself. We have had this same gentle person for almost a year but today he wanted her out.
Now after dinner he is shouting again in his first language which he is using all the time now. He shouts that this is his house and to get out. When I ask if he wants me out too he lets me know that he doesn't. I don't feel the least bit threatened by him but I'm sure the caregiver did.
I put a call in to his doctor but of course I heard nothing. Every place you phone it's always voicemail. It's so darn frustrating.
I'm sure others have experienced what I have today.
My husband loves to eat so i thought the next time she comes she should give him a snack before attempting to do anything in the way of personal care. I will stick around in the basement so he won't know I'm here. Anyone have any other ideas?

My sweet mother turned into a paranoid , evil person...she is very nearly impossible to deal with.

We hoped it was a phase...it doesn't seem to be passing.

my mom just got diagnosed & also is turning mean...and just went to live w/ my kids...eieieie she was always my biggest supporter & best friend...this is what sucks!

Remember to consider how they must feel about being told they have this disease. I can't imagine being told that you have an incurable disease that will eat away at you and affect you and your family in horrific ways until you finally die.

I know our pain is great but I know in my case we were so wrapped up in ourselves and also afraid to talk about it with my father. How do you find the words? My mother had the incredible strength to start many conversations about the future with my father. I am sure they were not easy but they were necessary.

In 04 with the first Dx, after we picked ourselves up off the floor, we had many talks...perhaps because we had a child to raise, whatever...I wanted to know his mind and heart on big matters and I believe I do.


A couple of times I've gotten angry at his bad behavior, told him to STOP or whatever, walked out of the room....

We now have a good geriatric psychiatrist...a real specialist... and that helps....

i come here to vent when it all goes south or my best intentions aren't working...always helps.....

My grandmother has turned nasty too! It is soooo hard to deal with. When Nasty Nana is on, she hates it here, she wants her money, I am a b**ch, she is just terrible, terrible, terrible! When Nice Nana is on, she has NO memory of Nasty Nana. Then, she loves it here. With Nasty Nana, you can not change subjects and she usually says she can't understand what I am saying. She is mean to help that comes in and tells them she doesn't need any help. SCREAM!!!

My mom has alzheimer's and sometimes I don't come on this site because to talk about it depresses me. She has not gotten to the point that she can be stubborn and starts refusing to get into the tub to bathe. When that happens, I or step-sister who cares for her mainly just leave her be and let her wash up at the sink and not fight with her. Sometimes you can cajole her into doing what you want her to. But other times if it looks like it will be a fight we leave it alone and just do the basics. As long as she is not hurting herself. It is hard as Dances with says she was my best friend and we would have great conversations. I am her only child. Sometimes now she doesn't know who I am. Very sad disease.

Its ALL so sad as Judy says...no matter what stage , no matter what loved one...its a toughie. BUT...you fortunately have found the best online group to help you through it.

Everyone here will listen and try to help ...we all love each other dearly and CARE!!!

Hugs Sherri

I am also new to this site. My husband was diagnosed because he became delusional and paranoid. He thought everybody and his brother wanted to borrow his precious pickup truck, that Hollywood wanted him to act in a movie, the police wanted him to dispatch, but yet they thought he had killed someone! His logic is gone. Now his meds have him calmed down and he does not hear nearly as many voices, but he complains that he is so tired all the time and wants his "5 hour energy" drink.--I don't think so--. I have found that just knowing there are others out there with similar situations helps me cope with this situation. It does not keep me from firing back some thoughtless hot reply when he picks at me like some cruel schoolboy.

"cruel school boy" I like that! My mother is one of the "mean girls"

This is also my first visit to the DS group and I am so glad a friend told me about you all.
I care for my 82 year old Mother who has Moderate AD and hates that I am "invading her household" and my 86 year old father who suffered head trauma from a fall in December and is on a long road to recovery but doing amazingly well, considering his age and the fact that my Mother is a nightmare more often than not.
I will be a regular venting volcano here...and hope that you all will bear with me. Thanks Pam for telling me about these wonderful folks!