Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...

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ingelo 09/15/2012

Since a fall in March of this year my knee has been giving out. I have been advised I need a replacement but how can I have that done when I'm the only one watching over my husband's care in the nursing home? Pushing him in the very heavy wheel chair seems to aggravate the knee and I have a lot of pain. So what do I do, risk a fall and maybe break something or have the surgery and be out of commission for weeks.
I'm not in a position to pay for more than a few hours of private care for my husband and I don't think I could stand not being able to oversee his care. It's really tough.
People who still have their loved ones at home may think the solution is simple and feel that I should be taking care of myself. They are right in a sense but unfortunately I don't trust the home take proper care. There are constant issues and i don't think he would be alive today if I were not on top of things every day.
I don't know what the answer is.

Jamr41 09/16/2012

Are you on medicare ? You will need a few weeks of therapy and rehab. I think medicare pays for 20 days or so for this. Would it be possible to do this in the NH your husband is now ? Even though you couldn't push the wheel chair around you could still over see his care.

ingelo 09/16/2012

I'm in Canada so the cost of surgery etc is no problem. However, rehab in hospital is no longer available and I would be discharged after 4 or 5 days. I would be eligible for some physio at home and help with personal care for a short time.
I have no family apart from a son who is single and lives about an hour from me.
Luckily I have good neighbours and friends who would help. The nursing home is just a couple of blocks from my home and I could possibly get there using my mom's electric scooter. She passed away in December last year and I decided to keep the scooter which was smart. It's a lot to think about.
I thought the knee was getting better following injections of Neovisc but it is still giving out so I'm less hopeful now.
Oh well, I had better just take it a day at a time.

deleted_user 09/19/2012

I would do the surgery. Your knee will only get worse and better to do this on your timeline then as an emergency. Line up your son and your friends and neighbors to visit your husband and check up on the nursing home each day. They can relay info to/from you.

We never know how long things will continue or when they will change so waiting "until" is not a good strategy. Take care of the caretaker so they can take care of the loved one :)

ingelo 09/19/2012

Thank you. My family doctor told me the very same thing when I saw her this week.
She said it would vastly improve my quality of life especially as I would be able to go back to activities that I have had to give up, such as folk dancing and aquafit. I'm gaining a lot of weight just sitting around and that's not good for the knees as I well know.

aurorio 09/19/2012

I think it's so easy for all of us who look after loved ones to forget to take care of ourselves. I know that that has happened to me. You don't want it to get even worse. Plus, you deserve good care too!

loveyorks 09/20/2012

I know how bad you must feel, I was like that back this winter, I was sick all winter long and the NH did not want me in there. They did not need anymore sick patients on their hands. So I could not visit my mom for something like 5-6 weeks in a row. I'm an only child and so she had no visits at all that time.
I however kept in touch by phone but that's not the same, however I do need to add that she no longer recognized me by that time.
So yes by all means have that operation and don't feel bad about it.
Hugs

barbarame 10/02/2012

It makes sense to get yourself into good shape first, otherwise you will have two frail people living under the same roof unable to care for either properly. Get the social worker in so that you can get whatever help you need. Having your knee fixed will pay off as the doctor has said. Obviously, you do not want to injure it by doing things like trying to take too much weight on it at first.

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