My father has been caring for my mother whose Alzheimer's has turned pretty severe in the past couple years. He himself does fairly well for his age and his mind is pretty sharp but he does have congestive heart failure and uses a breathing machine at night. I worry because he is her main caregiver and has little help. I myself have three small children and live about three hours away so it is difficult for me to be of much assistance and I just feel awful for it.
He has tried having home health nurses come in a couple times a week so that he can get a break. The first nurse was there to help out doing odd jobs around the house, but my mother, always being quite the homemaker would become rather territorial if you will and took offense to someone else doing her work. So that didn't work out. The second nurse would come and sit and talk and help with cooking now and again since my mom had always been the one to cook the meals and dad didn't have much experience with it. But again it was hit or miss and the nurse had to stop coming. He waited a little while and then tried a third time but this time the nurse would only come to sit and chat and keep mom company and if dad had an errand to run, he was able to do that while she was there. It was hot and cold, but it seemed that mom was enjoying the visits for awhile there. But once again she began to dislike the nurse and apparently ordered her out of their house :(
They also get meals on wheels from the senior services a couple times a week and once in a while neighbors or folks from their church come by and bring food for them, which is very nice.
My brothers try and help as best they can. One lives about two hours away and visits at least once a month but his job is very demanding so it's few and far between, he is also the most helpful with dad on legal matters. The other lives in the next state but calls regularly and also sends dad books and articles about Alzheimer's that may be helpful to him.
So that his is support system which is better than nothing but I still wish more could be done. Assisted living facilities are too expensive and professionals have told him there's basically not much that can be done to help. But I want to believe there's more, I just don't know what! :(
It is heartbreaking to see her fading away and becoming so confused. My heart also breaks for my dad, who is watching his partner become a stranger and not recognizing him. He has to be on constant guard for her safety and, as of late, deal with her packing stuff up "to move to a new house". It must be exhausting!!l
Thanks for listening to me rant and if anyone has any tips or suggestions please let me know, thank you!