Alzheimer's Disease Support Group
Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...
I just feel like crying, I don't have the patience or the knowledge to deal with this. My 66 year ld sister, the youngest in the family, has Alzheimer's, I'd say early onset but I think we are past early. She mostly just sits in a chair and pets the dog or attends to her cat which is locked in her room, Her room smells horrible. I have cleaned it several times but can't get rid of the odor. She smells like her room, her hygine isn't great, I have to order her to shower. I was doing laundry today and there was a pair of jeans ond underwear in the washer wet with urine. I asked her if she was having incontenance and she said she didn't know. She told me the floor in her bedroom was wet, I believe she spilled something but she didn't know. She doesn't know anything and I am frustrated with that. She isn't so mentally deficient that she can't function but on the most basic of things in life. She is resistant to help, suggestions and only by being stern with her does she begrudginly respond. It is only going to get worse and I don't know what I'll do, placement is just too expensive. I am venting here.
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Now that I am not talking to my whatever best friend, I realized that her life is full of drama. I had grown tired of hearing her stories about her boyfriend many months ago. She basically had been monopolizing conversations for that long too. She pretty much stopped asking me questions about me. I passed her in front of her classroom the other day and didn't even look at her. I am...
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Does anyone here have a comfort item you carry with you when you go out? For example this is my doll, Annie, and I've recently been bringing her with me when I run errrands flor have an appointment. Holding her comforts me. I've bought her clothes, crocheted for her, I recently bought a personalized blanket with her name on it. Just wondering if anyone else has a comfort item.
Depression is a common symptom with any dementia. My mom went through the same sort of thing. She was very depressed, her hygiene went out the door when she normally obsessed over good hygiene. She did become incontinent too.
You definitely need support. I would suggest talking to a professional about how to handle the depression symptoms.
And sadly there will be a day where she needs to be placed into a home. Medicaid can pay for it but you will need help with this.
I will be honest. It is very ugly for people who cannot afford a nursing home placement. It caused me a ton of mental health trauma. You will need a therapist or a support group.
Someone has to now be her caregiver and that means directing her gently with everything. If you can't do this, start to get her on lists for medicaid beds in memory units. It is expensive but if she has no assets, it will help her quality for medicaid and a memory unit.
May I suggest you go on the Alzheimers Association website and read their information. She has to be coaxed, gently, at this point. She has lost the ability to use the toilet, so now it is time for depends, adult incontinence diapers. You check them every hour or two.
She isn't being awful on purpose, she has forgotten what things are for, she is scared or fearful. No longer can she enjoy the old stuff she enjoyed. Showers or baths must be supervised and she has lost the ability to know how to bathe herself. She put the urine soaked clothing in the washer but could not figure out how to use it. This is not her being bad or mean or willfully causing you problems.
Don't say to her "Don't you remember?" No she doesn't and it makes them belligerent to say this to them. Say things kindly like you would to a child (sorry to phrase it that way but I don't know how else to paint the picture). For example, "Sister, we take a shower now, let's pick out our favorite shampoo, let's smell them." Tell her what you are doing, now we soap the body (you do it), now we put shampoo in the hair, smells so good." Remember that she doesn't remember and has lost the ability to do any of this stuff. And she is fearful because she is confused and unsure.
Her medicare might provide limited home health care but if she qualifies for Medicaid, she can get limited home health care. Not 24/7. You need to put new child safe locks on the doors so she can't leave, take her keys, sell her car if she still has one. Someone must be with her 24/7. Alarms on the outside doors for at night.
You must get support for yourself, too. The Alzheimers Association has a phone number you can call and get better information on things like medicaid and home health. Join their support group for you and she goes at the same time to something else.
I wish you the best. I could not do this 24/7 by myself. My in-laws got to where they needed two people to move them, lift them, change their diapers. My MIL didn't walk any longer and my FIL couldn't speak well.