Oh Deb, how foolish can his daughter be?? I would tell her to google it and that you are far too busy dealing with her dad's health to worry about her getting in-home help.

I wish there was some magic wand that could be waived to make families behave better, especially when there is a medical crisis. But there isn't and if anything the situation usually gets worse as everyone tries to force their opinion and beliefs on you. And when they finally realize just how serious this is their emotions will kick in and it will get even worse.

For your sake I hope they keep their distance as long as possible. Their involvement would only add to your burden.

If I were her, I would have been ashamed to admit that I didn't know what hospice was. I surely would have googled it first like Tigg said.

Tigg....you do realize we think a lot alike don't you? lol

Anyway, I don't believe I would even respond to that stupid question. You informed them about Rollie which was all you were tryingg to do.
Let her figure it out for herself how to get help or whatever she needs, just like you had to do for her father.

BTW, make sure you keep that email in which you informed them of hospice as well as any replies you get from any of them, in a separate folder just in case you need to CYA later. lol.

i would agree. tell his family...... and brace yourself and be strong and of good courage because you have stood by Rollie's side through all of this and you are not abandoning him, you are doing the most loving right thing.

i am sorry you have had to endure so much family drama.

will keep you in prayer

Dearest Deborah

You have done all you need to do with his family...you have told them he is in hospice and now you need to get on with caring for him, taking care of YOU and forgetting about those ungrateful children.

I didn't bother to tell Jim's family anything because they didn't bother to come by and visit him, so I felt they didn't need to know anything (or they would have been here). We did well with his care without them or in spite of them.

You do what you think is best for Rollie and for YOU and know that your DS friends are here and we love you.

Mary

Deb,
From an oldie this last part of the journey had so many mixed emotion. You have been very devoted to Rollie, just continue spending these days with him and let him know you are there. i know that doesn't need to be said.
I had so many family and friends support though the years We were both blessed.

I sent an e-mail out to his family and did updates daily. They were great sending prayers and cards I hung them in our bedroom and I would read them to him everyday.

I only let the closest people that had made Ken, smile and laugh and spent time with him.I was very protective of who he was with in the last month. My feelings were if they didn't support him on this journey they were not going to be part this.
I did the same with letting people know when he passed and for his celebration of life. He had 60 people at the celebration his family told stories and shared some times. I knew that each person who spoke or shared was someone who really loved him.

For me it was an insult that this sweet man would spend his last days with people that couldn't take a day or even an hour out of their lives to spent a minute with him when he was sick.

I'm know this was harsh but for what ever reason it was I just could not bring myself to share him .

You have been Rollie's angel years caring and loving him. I know you will go with your heart and do what works for you and him.

I think of all of everyday.
Stay strong.
Love
Glenda

Glenda, I feel like you did. Rollie deserves only kindness, love and respect and if they can't bring that then I don't want them anywhere near him. They have had plenty of chances to be nice to their father, it is too late now. I am also protective of him too, that's part of the job I think- they can't take care of themselves so we need to.

Deb; I completely agree............they can't take care of themselves so it is up to us to not only care for them in the beast way we possibly can but also to protect them. I am so sorry that his family failed him but thankfully he has you and your combined family.

I thank God everdya for friends and Family, without them I would feel completely lost.


PS...GLENDA...so glad to see a post from you.(missed you but haven't forgotten you) hope you are doing OK and life is being kind to you...HUGS Sherri

Deborah, you are so right about being protective of them. We become like a mother bear with her cubs.

You did what you needed to do....you don't have to do anything else except take care of Rollie. How they respond is totally up to them.

I'll be so happy to see you in Vegas...I want to give you a big hug in person. \

Glenda, so happy to see you back, I don't think I've seen you post since before my hubby passed away in June. Hope you are doing well. Like Judy and Mary said, we are still on this journey, just a different leg of it. It is hard sometimes, but it is much easier than watching them suffer everyday..

Hugs. Carolyn