Alzheimer's Disease Support Group

Alzheimer's disease (AD) is the most common cause of dementia and characterized by progressive cognitive deterioration with declining activities of daily living and neuropsychiatric symptoms or behavioral changes. An early symptom is memory loss (amnesia), usually manifesting as minor forgetfulness that becomes pronounced with illness progression, with relative...

378 Members

2,774 Posts

0 Online

Deborah48 10/03/2010

I am having a bad day. Every time he needs something I feel eother mad or sad at him, I feel like I just don't want to get whatever it is he needs like I want to run out the front door screaming. the thing is that I actually had a break today went to my PEO meeting for 4 hours and when I came home the last thing I wanted to do was take care of him! I feel awful about it but that's how I feel. I was just hoping and praying for him to go to sleep and wishing he would sleep for 2 or 3 days, awful but I am just sick of dealing with all this.

deleted_user 10/03/2010

I am so sorry you are having a bad day!
I feel so empty and sad for my mom now. She is in the nursing home waiting to get medicaid approved. I was caring for her up to 20 of Sept, but it got so bad with her screaming and her restlessness, that I had to take her to the hospital. I feel that I have abandoned her, even though I go to the nursing home everyday 3 times a day to make sure she is well cared for. It is a terrible disease. I just wish God would take her, so she will not be in pain any longer.

Yesterday at about 8 pm she started to scream and holding her head. I could not leave her like that. I asked the nursed to give her something. They were busy and told me that they will give her the med but they let her scream for at least 1/2 hour bedore they gave her medication. I was very upset!

inmemoryofhattie 10/03/2010

I have felt this very same way, not once either. It's the at the same time that can really undo you....

If you can't get away from him for a bit, could you set him up with a DVD, snack etc "a movie party" or some such other "thing" (a hiking party if he is on a walt-a-thon)where all stuff he needs for a while is there in a big mass, and you can sit/lie on a futon in the corner?

Sometimes I HAVE to leave the room or go stand on the porch or go to the bathroom...for a while, as long as I think I won't face more chaos upon exiting,

I am very sorry that you are in this situation. It stinks!

deleted_user 10/03/2010

Oh, Deborah, I so know how you feel. I cannot believe that I want the man I loved so much to just go away. The guilt that goes along with being a caregiver to a spouse with Alzheimer's is a killer. I love you. I wish I could actually sit down with you.
Sharon

Deborah48 10/04/2010

Thanks, Sharon, I have been crying off and on everyday for 3 days now.

deleted_user 10/04/2010

Deb I am so sorry you are in this funk right now..although your words could have come from any one of us. I understand completely. There is so much guilt involved with eing a caregiver for this horrid disease, you try and try but you really can't change a thing about the life we are each living. When I get angry I then feel guily, when I feel guilty I try not to get angry again, I pick myself up and try a fresh start and it all starts over again. What is it they say...the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over & over agin and expecting different results! Welcome to our lives. I am with Sharon, I too believe there is something after death and I know whatever it is my husband will be the man I married, who God forgive me I honestly hardly remember. I hate Alzheimers and what it does to all of us living it.

Pam65 10/04/2010

I find myself sneaking around corners so she won't see me. Who is this person who yells from her lounge chair when she wants to ask a question? I wouldn't do that to my worst enemy.

deleted_user 10/04/2010

Pam, you are some kind of special! You are such a blessing to your mother.

Join the Conversation