(((HUGS)))
It's a wretched thing to have to do, but you are wise in getting things set up ahead of time.

When the time comes.....you'll be glad you did .

NO... you should do these things now. When the death occurs you are just too emotional to think straight. Know what you want and have things in place before hand. You will be so glad you are going forward with final arrangements.

Deb,

I know just what you are saying.....I'm there.....since the hospital brought up possible sedation I have tried to wrap my head around this next possible step and I just can't do it. I tried to call the minister and a funeral home and froze...I will try again next week....I know I won't be much good when the time comes....

Someday it will be all behind you.But unfortunately you are faced with dealing with the here and now."For every time there is a season".I faced those same thoughts when pre arranging the funeral for my first husband.It was one of the most difficult things, that I have ever been forced to do.

There is no wrong or right way to do it,no right or wrong time.Right now you are just going to be receiving information.As with every other decision,make it in your own time.Sure you will be crying on Tuesday when the representative comes.But chances are that you will be crying on Tuesday whether they come or not.You probably cried last Tuesday.Blessings...................Cheryl

I am really happy that we pre-arranged our funerals around 3 years ago before we got to a place where we were actually thinking about death. We had bought our "plots" quite a few years ago 8-10; I just thought it would be easier on our kids if I happened to go before my hubby since he would not be able to make the arrangements.

Just know Deb and Marianne when you find the right time to do it, the arms of your friends here at DS will be hugging you and supporting you.

Maybe I could do the arrangements for you....feel like I have become an expert.

Lost my dear JIm in April...my brother the first of September and Jim's brother Sept. 9. Things haven't been good for me lately.

My sister and I went to W.Va., and sat with our brother until he died and then went to the funeral home, made arrangements and to a clothing store and bought the clothing for him to wear.

Going to JIm's brother's funeral was hardest. It was a the same funeral home where Jim was and he was also buried at Quantico National Cemetery. His visitation was on the date of Jim's death.

Maybe things will begin to look up soon...I certainly hope so.

And yes, Deb, you are doing the right thing by getting everything together now before you fall apart later.

Take care, all of you. Love you bunches
Mary

The woman from Neptune says that they work with the VA all the time.
Mary- I think the biggest part for me is how it works, he passes, I am supposed to call the coroner, then I call Neptune? What is happening with his body? Do I just let him continue to 'rest' in his bed? Who comes to get him? That is the part I just have no idea about.

My dad died in the hospital so they took care of everything like that.

It all seems so unreal.....

I know where you are Deborah, I remember thinking that day after his surgery that they didn't expect him to live, that I wish I had done some of this before this time. Judy is right, you are much too upset to be making decisions after they've passed. It will be so much easier on everyone if you know what you are to do and who to call.
It's true, it is hard, but you will be glad you did it. there is a part of you that feels like you are doing something wrong or cruel by talking and making plans while they are still breathing, but believe me, you are not...it is a very smart thing to do. You WILL experience that sense of peace when he does pass. I pray for peace for both of you and all our other DS friends. Do you realize how many there are that are very bad right now? Saddens me so.
Hugs........Can't wait to meet you..and give you a hug in person.

If it helps you any.... I wish I had done a lot more before mom passed, I was and still am totally unprepared. I wouldnt be in this boat that I am in, if I had thought as you are. Now look what it did for me!!!

I am positive there will be nothing like this in your near future (or any future later) because you are doing the things we should have done ahead of time. I commend all of you that have planned and done these things. Im so ignorant still about the things that needed to be done, or still need to be done and nothing I can do about it personally....most of it is out of my hands. But I will still be paying for it for a long time to come.

Hugs
Janel

P.S. I am still over $700 to the negative in my account because of ill preparation....and dont know how they expect me to clear that up when I cant call anyone about it. BANKS have no empathy or compassion what so ever. Seems neither does my family members that put me in this position.

Janel, sorry to hear about that, MONEY, hate it.

You are so smart. I am working on Ken's funeral as well. It is almost paid for.