((((DEBORAH))))))

wow I can see how that would make my head spin too. I swear family (loosly used) have no clue about much of anything except for themselves. My family is exactly the same way. It amazes me.

I think if after you calm down a bit (if you are able) in a couple of days, I think that response is very appropriate. Someone needs to let them know "they burned that gravy train long ago with their actions" or should it be the in-actions. You worded it in a great way.

And might I add... I love the "kids" portion. That in itself says it all.
Good luck to you, and try not to hold onto the anger for to long
(look at the pot calling the kettle black)!!!

HUGS
Janel

They have balls bigger than church bells !

I would send it as an email or a hand written note, but leave off the last bit. The rest says it all. Send this to your husband's daughter not the grandchild.

The only thing I can share on this is from Jacob's point of view. When my grandmother was dying my mom kept me away...literally. Every time I wanted to go to see her my mom had an excuse. So maybe Jacob is facing the same problem with his mom. He may not even know what is going on. So maybe send him a card with a nice note saying that you both wish him well and maybe he would visit his grandfather since he probably won't be around much longer.

HOLY (SHIT) BATMAN!!!

I thought we were supposed to have gone crazy with all the grief and exhaustion and work and worry and sadness....but no, look at us, we might be depressed or angry as hornets. but...you know what...we make sense!!!!!

These people are whacked!!!!!!!

I got a wedding invitation to my husband's cousins' wedding extravaganza last summer..it was way more that an over the top wedding.... it was a spectacle....hadn't seen or heard from this bunch in years......the bridezilla was requesting mountain bikes and entire sets of outdoor furniture on her very numerous registries....after her Dad had bought them a house as well as paid for this hollywood production...I had several go-rounds with my MIL over this....she was somehow upset that her sister might be upset that we weren't going.....the sister she had apparently not mentioned Ron's multiple degenerative illnesses and conditions to..but then his aunt didn't know anything cause she never called either.....

and when I try to talk about this to anyone...even as a joke, a bad one... I heat up to about 3000 degree farenheight in just seconds....

So, Deb, i think this should go in the " Very Bad Jokes About Families" section of our book!

Is there a delete button for relatives like this?

(Maybe Jacob really doesn't know what's going on...?)

I'm with you. What is it about people who send these things without a thought in their head. I know life goes on but I don't send invite out asking them to join me in my life. I would love to sent out notices of "celebration" when hubby & I have a good experience without having a meltdown. I wish I could share these bits of magic but my world is different. I welcome visitors to our world & hope they take some of hubby's magic to heart.

VENT..SPEW ...RAVE..here on DS

I would send a short Email , or note.
Just saying .....Your Father is beyond comprehending anything, as complicated as a graduation,
I wish you well in the future
***sign your name***

Oh Deb, My blood pressure is normally well controlled on my medications but my head is about to explode over the nerve of your husband's daughter essentially asking for a gift for her son. If Jacob is graduating from high school or college he is certainly old enough to understand what is happening to his grandfather.

I would send the letter as you wrote it here without the suggestion from your kids (although I can certainly understand their anger).

Oh the things we have to go through is beyond belief!!

But all things considered, I would not give them the satisfaction of an answer. 1. its obvious they don't care. 2. why even bother, would it change anything in their lives. 3. why let them know that they once again managed to get under your skin.

I would just ignore and carry on. If by some wild chance they come back with something like ''did you receive?'' then I would let them have it with both barrels.

UNBELIEVABLE!!!!!

My daughter is still here with me and I read the whole thing to her. We both agree you should absolutely send it. Just so as not to lower yourself to their level, I would leave off the last line, but my daughter says....go for it....they deserve to hear it!

Amazing how some people can piss you off in an instant.
Hugs and luv to you....Carolyn

I'm really good at ignoring people's stupidity. During the time Jim died and was being buried, I received a wedding invitation from a sister's grandson and a graduation announcement from another sister's grandson.

I have seen each of them no more than twice in their lives and certainly don't intend to send a gift. I am intelligent enough to know I wasn't invited to the wedding, but was expected to send a card and a nice check. NOT.

This illness has caused me to be a selfish bitch most of the time. I only do for those who have done for us _ a visit, a little help, etc. _ so I sure don't have to do for any of them, because there was no help or visits, except for our kids and wives and grandchildren.

So, I suggest that you ignore the whole thing and let them wonder why they got nothing from grandma, maybe some day a light bulb will go off in their head and they will say, "Damn, I should have visited and offered to help them a little."

Take care everyone.
Love you all
Mary

PS: My granddaughter is beginning a new job on Monday, so I treated her to a day of shopping for business clothing. We had a really good time and she will be well dressed in her new career. She is a very special granddaughter.

If the grandson didn't know about his grandfather's illness then it would be good to send him a gift. But if he did know about his grandfather's illness then I wouldn't even respond. Let them wonder. Maybe the mother kept him in the dark about all of it.

Families are a mess in the best of times and in the worst they are downright awful. I would give the grandson a chance to standup for himself now that he is older (assuming this is HS or College graduation). I would send a card and include a note saying that grandpa is not doing well and would enjoy a visit with his grandson.

I kind of agree, that I would just throw it in the trash, and do nothing. I very much agree that Rollie's children have "missed the boat", but maybe the grandchildren have never had a chance to establish a relationship with their grandfather due to very stupid, selfish, uncaring, insensitive parents.

I understand your wanteing to send your note but I don't think I would , simply because then they will find justification for their lack of consideration towrads you and their dad.

I think I would send DancingD's suggested reply but preface it with....

I REALIZE YOU ARE UNAWARE AS YOU HAVE NOT KEPT IN TOUCH...
but Your Father is beyond comprehending anything, as complicated as a graduation,
I am sure if he could he would wish you well!
***sign your name on behalf of your husband***

or/ I would not respond at all!

It kills me with all you have on your plate you have to worry about this nonsense. They should be ashamed, but some folks just don't get it. Perhaps one day they shall regret their lack of caring...then again perhaps not! Thats their problem .....you have enough of your own. Hugs

I sent his daughter a quick email-

'Thanks for the card, I showed the Jacob's picture and the announcement to your dad'

that was all and that was 2 days ago- zero response. I think my answer was to the point without being rude. You all agree?