I am sooo sorry to hear about your mom's fall and fx hip. Unfortunately, a fx hip is not a benign injury especially to the elderly or the fragile.

It is only my suggestion, but if your Mom is aware of you and your hubby is not, I would spend the majority of time with her especially right now. If you can arrange for other family to be with the one you aren't with, might help your situation. I'm sure you must realize that your mom might not survive this and I don't mean to upset you, just that you might want to be prepared.
I hope I didn't say anything to offend you, its just that we have to try to to be there for each other.

Hugs....Carolyn

Carolyn is right .. a fractured hip can lead to more serious things and can eventually be life threatening. My MIL fractured the ball of the leg bone when she was about 72. Because of other health problems they couldn't do surgery to put in a pin so they left it to heal on it's own. She was in rehab for about two months but came out of it to walk and drive normally.

I think you need to consider what things might come up and what you and your mother would want to have done. Doctors love to tell us we have to do something instead of giving us options. Please consider each thing before agreeing. Hopefully the confusion is from the medication but you might also want to see if there is anything else going on that might have contributed to her confusion and the fall...maybe a heart issue?

They will probably be looking to discharge your mom to skilled nursing. Any chance she could go to the same place as your husband? Or at least a place in the same area so you can stop all the traveling?

I know you have a lot to deal with but I'm trying to think of the things that will come up. I always like to be prepared because we all know how the medical establishment loves to steamroll us. Try to get what rest you can and know that you are doing your best in a challenging situation.

Dear Ingelo,

It does seem that once the downward cascade of things has started it keeps on......

I agree with Carolyn, this is not a good situation for your mother and spending time with her might be important.

There was a period of time when my husband was ill and my Dad was dying in FL. and I felt so torn between the two of them and their situations and needs......

I felt guilty about almost everything with my husband although everyone assured me I was doing the right things...I think it is in the nature of a declining and terminal illness to feel helpless and often it is the case that there is little we can do.....

And I do know what you mean...it is very very hard....

Sending understanding and urging you to take care of yourself in this time of unbearable stress.... hugs.....

Wow,I sure feel for you.I went through the hip fx this year with my MIL and thank God I had my husband's help and support.I do not know how you do it by yourself.

Please make your first priority taking care of YOU.It is so easy to become physically and emotionally exhausted when you have severe chronic stress.Dividing your attention will not be easy,but I do agree that your mom's situation seems the most pressing.Carolyn is right, there can be many serious complications with fractures in the elderly.

I send you wishes for peace,strength,and wisdom..........Cheryl

I'm so sorry about this development. And I totally understand. I was torn between my husband and mother a couple years ago. I knew her clock was ticking so spent as much time as I could with her.

If your husband is unaware of your presence then do what you need to for your mom. I do hope you can get her released to a facility near to your husband.

When it rains it pours... prayers and good vibes coming your way.

You won't believe this but I now am quite sure I have a bladder infection that I have ignored for days and now I'm in real trouble.
I will go to the emerg department of the hospital my mom is in and hope they give me something right away. I knew it was brewing but had no time to worry about it.
I honestly don't see how my mom can survive surgery given her damaged heart.
There are no families to relieve me with my husband so I hope he will be OK.. His brother finds it "too difficult" to see him in this state and he has chosen to write us out of their lives. Too bad for him. He may regret this one day but given the type of person he is he will justify it somehow.
Thanks for being there. It's rough when one does not have family.

We always manage to take good care of others but always put ourselves at the back of the line. The result now creates an emergency for you. I have done the same thing more times then I can count.

I agree with Carolyn that the time spent with your Mom is most important right now. I think that most of us have felt alone even when we have family around us; but I truly feel for you not actually having even his so called brother to help out. Please know that I will be praying for your return to good health and for you to have the strength to deal with the overwhelming issues you are being faced with. Hugs & prayers, Jeanmarie

Just quickly, my mom came through her surgery, bless her, she is a fighter.
I went to emergency and am on antibiotics. Maybe things will look up now??

Dear I,

Glad you are on antibiotics.....pls make sure to stay hydrated and eat nutritiously and take vitamins...I actually went to a health food store as the crisis here was brewing and asked them if they had vitamins minerals and other stuff in a liquid form and...they did...it helps.....

sleep, rest and exercise..even if it is regular walking are also vital....very concerned about you.....thanks for the news about your mom too....

Dear Ingelo.

You have had your share. I am so sorry for you. I, too agree with Carolyn. Please take care of yourself. There will be a "silver lining" for you. One day what you are experiencing will all be a memory, something you are talking to friends about in "past tense".

Thanks again to all of you for your kindness.
A friend brought me enough food for 2 or 3 days today and I will try and make it a point to eat better. I almost didn't enjoy the meal because I was so used to just snacking.
Considering that my husband and I ate only organically grown food and tried to live a healthy life, I have really blown it!
I haven't seen my husband for 3 days and I wonder if he will recognize me at all. Fortunately I'm good friends with the wife of another resident and she has been keeping an eye on things for me for which I'm very grateful.
Thanks again,
Inge

Thank God for friends. I'm sure hubby is taken care of and you must do the same for you since you are the only one left to do that for you.

Glad you are on Antibiotics and hope you are feeling better by this time. I developed a UTI just before going to Vegas!! What a pain.

Glad to hear your mom made it through surgery. That was Carl's problem with surgery, his heart. He made it through but it was touch and go and then it turned out that the whole insult to his body with the fx and the surgery was more than he could recover from.
I hope everyone is on the mend.
hugs. Carolyn