You are never alone when you have a group of friends like this. I belong to another site of people with spine problems...I used to tell people when you feel alone to just imagine a huge circle of all your spiney friends surrounding you. There is always someone with you in spirit who understands how you are feeling.

That said have you gotten any support from your doctors for you? I was trying to make my mother understand yesterday that the spouse needs to be prepared for the changes in their life. A mild anti-depressant can work wonders.

So was there anything in particular that set you off today or just another day in the life of a caregiver?

I understand where you are coming from. I don't like to cry in front of anyone either. and lately a mushy add on TV can set me off. When I'm done, I feel better for having allowed myself a pity party. We are all allowed one and have worked and earned it.

Once you're done, sit down with a nice glass of wine or whatever you like to drink..

Deb..I think it is a little of both. I try not to in front of others but sometimes it sneaks up no matter how hard you try.

give yourself a break and cry all you want , actually after a good cry it usually helps a bit., Here's my shoulder girlfriend..go to it!! Love you

not sure what has set me off today, just the endlessness, I think, but I am just breaking into tears every hour or so, hope it stops soon, my nose is getting raw.

I cry a lot too. Usually over something minor that just sets it off. I wasn't a crier growing up, but the emotional roller coaster does all kinds of things with our emotions. It's harder to cry in front of other people. It puts us in even a more vulnerable position than we already are in. Give yourself a break. It's okay to cry.

I too hate to cry in front of others. I am not a pretty crier....nose gets red, face blotchy. Actually, tonight was the first time i even wanted to cry in awhile, but couldn't and I was alone driving at the time.

You said it all Deborah, when you say it is the endlessness of it all.
I am so ready. I hate waking up each morning to face another day of it. I swear I'm not going to make it some days.
I really wish I could cry more, at least when I'm alone because I think it would relieve some of the stress. Go for it...its like a release valve.

I've always been a crier. hubby and sons always laughed at me for crying at sad movies, or romantic movies or any kind of movie.

I cried a lot when Jim was still living. I wouldn't answer the phone when I was crying and when they called back and asked why, I would say, "I was having a pity party and you weren't invited.''

Some weeks I cry myself to sleep every night and then I will go for awhile without crying. Maybe it is getting better.

Crying cleanses the soul and helps us heal a little but i always preferred to cry alone, like Carolyn, i am an ugly crier, face gets blotchy, nose gets red, etc.

The hardest thing for me now is feeling like a "fifth wheel" whenever I go somewhere with the family or with friends. Kinda feel like I am imposing on friends and family.

Take care
Mary

Mary just speaking with you on this website, I am certain there is not one single family member or friend who would ever think of you as a 5th wheel. You are a special gift to all of us here on DS and I feel so blessed to call you a friend.....lots of hugs coming your way. You are such a strong lady and an inspiration to us all....Jeanmarie