I'm the same way. My mom stands over me when I'm doing something personal (writing letters, painting, reading) so I never feel like I'm me. And I don't know why it irritates me--well maybe I do. She takes every minute of my life, even steps into "my" time. And it never stops. The only quiet me time is late at night when I should be sleeping.

I did notice yesterday when I was so mad and irritated I couldn't stand it that the anger had a long lasting effect on motivating me to not just sit but do something for myself.

Could it be that we are in a stress, crisis mode all the time so that when we have a quiet moment the mind wants to be quiet, no thinking? And that for me I see I need an extreme irritation to hit me up side the head and motivate me, like everything is ten steps up the extreme ladder, and that includes motivation. I have to be in super stress mode to get anything done other wise all I seem to want to do is sit and eat and gain weight and wait for the next problems to hit.

I actually beat mom up early this morning and worked on a painting I started months ago. I had two hours alone, quiet, no tv, no noise. Me time. Ah, wonderful.

Well, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Linda, yes, I understand what you are saying, it takes some big event to get me going, so hard, I haven't done anything so far today.

When I am lucky enough to have one of the children take Ken for a couple of hours, I clean like crazy and enjoy every minute of it, but when he is home, I am so depressed I cannot accomplish anything. I feel like a zombie!

I KNOW, that's how exactly how I feel! I feel like I have to drag a huge weight around with me while I am cleaning and he is here, I cannot turn around without bumping into him.

Deborah,thank you for bringing up this topic.I do understand.Last week my husband volunteered to take his mom,to the hair dresser to get her perm.They were gone for 2 glorious hours.It was wonderful.I realized that I am rarely alone and miss it.

I guess I will have to put my thinking cap on.I will either need to find my own alone time.Or this woman will be getting a new perm every two weeks.

When my hubby was in the "shadowing" phase, I felt like I was suffocating. I have never really minded being alone so to have someone following me around drove me nuts. Thank God he has passed through that phase. He still calls frequently from the bedroom to make sure "are you still there?" I try to imagine how difficult it must be for him to be so frightened to be alone and to be so dependent upon someone else for almost everything.

When o when does the shadowing phase end? It seems like Rollie is shadowing even more intensely than ever. I mean he sits like a dog on point next to me (RIGHT NEXT TO ME) and if I even move slightly he moves, like two people staring at each other in a mirror, know what I mean? I move my hand, he moves his. While he is sitting he keeps his eyes on me, just staring at me, waiting in case I get up. I understand that it is because he is afraid and I am patient, I put up with it but it drives me NUTS!

I think it was about 9 or 10 months that my hubby was shadowing. It drove me crazy as well and is one of the reasons I joined daily strength. How long has Rollie been doing it.

My hubby has been doing better lately........I hate to say that since every time I do some other behavior pops up.

Rollie has been shadowing me for at least 3 years, not quite as bad as now, this has been going on for about 6 months.

Wow, I guess I was lucky.My MILs shadowing only lasted about 6 months.I don't know if I could have stood it any longer.She is small and frail.I am always moving fast.I would turn around and bump right into her.She would be so quiet,I never realized she was there until it was too late.

Well, you guys just taught me a new one. Shadowing. Now I know I'm not the only one that thins is happening too. Sadie does it to me. Yes, I almost knocked her on the floor too. She was right there and I didn't know it. LOL.

I think one thing that is so hard for me is when I am sitting here watching TV and she is sitting there staring at me. It gives me the creeps. lol. I'm tring to not get irritated...

Deborah, I don't know how you've put up with it. I can't evens stand it when my mother is in the same room with me. I want to reach out and slap her out of it........ but as we all know, we can't.

My DH was going to sit in the car yesterday while I was in CVS. I backed up with my buggy to reach something and almost knocked him down, plus scared the crap out of me! Also he wants to be sitting right by me alll the time. In the kitchen Im running over him constantly.

karma- I am glad you find it creepy because I felt kind of guilty about feeling thinking it is creepy.

right now , Ron is practically lying on top of me he is so on MY side of the bed.....I HATE this.

Also, as I 've said before he has aphasia and can't speak understandably 98 % of the time which in and of itself is enough to drive anyone crazy 9fortunately i had already been driven crazy so there wasn't too far to go)...so, as we are looking at a DVD he is babbling constantly///last night when I said shhh he got up and roamed through the house in a temper tantrum. Tonight when was chatting on the phone with our son, he told me to stop talking!


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