Boy.. do I hear ya ! I find myself having a problem with the green eyed monster when I see couples our age doing things.
Just normal things. And I know I will never have that again. I feel so cheated. Have pity parties.

I think it's normal to feel this way. Sux !

I feel better knowing I am not the only one who feels as you do. Sometimes when I say my prayers I ask Heavenly Father to take Ken home soon so I can go on a mission or do community service or anything else besides sit home and waste away. But I am not the one who gets to decide when, where or how so I just cry every once in awhile and feel sorry for myself and then get back to the business at hand. It is hard for me to believe that I could even feel that way since I have always been so crazy in love with Ken. But this is not the same Ken I knew and loved. I don't know this person at all. Sometimes I feel so guilty. I am not a flight risk however. I am very loyal and responsible. I would never walk out or do anything stupid, even though it does cross my mine on occasion

Thanks you guys, We really do need each other. No one else would ever understand these feelings.

Love to all,

Sharon (Dibbie)

Oh honey we are all in that same sinking boat and we all go through the same thing or some variation of it from time to time. I was just talking to a friend this morning and saying how I feel guilty at times because my life is on hold and will be as long as Neal lives and yet I don't want to see him die. He still has more good days then not and seems to enjoy simple things most of the time and even once in awhile I get a flash of the man he used to be, the one I fell in love with and married.
But I also get that huge green eyed monster when I think of all the plans we made, the things we were going to do together once our land was paid off and we could afford to do some traveling, it will be paid off this fall and you all know with this disease and the tia's he's had in the past I don't even know if he'll be here this fall or if he'll know me or what the heck and I do want to move on too.
I still feel young enough and healthy enough to do something useful with my life in the years I have left but how much longer will that be true with the stress of taking care of him and living the rugged life style we do?
O.k. now I've done my vetning thing too, lol feels good to tell it like it is to those who understand.

I just love you guys! I love your honesty! I love how you encourage one another but can still say when you are just sad. I am praying for all of you! It is different for me since I care for my grandmother but I can understand how you feel. You make me appreciate my husband and the here and now. :D

Do that golden, appreciate your husband as much as you can right now, no regrets.

None of us know how long we have left, no matter what disease a person could get. My husband and I have seen so many people dying in their 60's right after they retire and want the "good life".

We have done much traveling and take every opportunity to do things together. We enjoy the sunsets, the flowers and animals. (except the squirrels that steal my tulip bulbs !)

We vowed that if we live to retirement and past at least we will have the memories. Well my memory is not getting better and I am glad for each day. I have lived alot in my 58 yrs here on this earth and did amazing things in my career and family life. I really don't feel the need to accomplish much more than I already have.

"For better or for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death do us part" --- that is a promise we have made and I will not do to my husband what my mother did to my father that is for sure.

that made me get some tears

Thank goodness all of you are still here; was beginning to think everyone had left me.

I have had many pity parties and they are good for cleansing the soul and giving us strength to do it again tomorrow.

We have taken Jim out of day care and beginning Monday, will have someone come here and care for him five hours a day, five days a week. Thank God for Long Term Care Insurance, it has been a godsend for us.

I won't know what to do with myself for that much time, but am sure I can find something to do even if it's going to the park and sitting by the water with a good book.

Hang in there ladies and keep writing. I really look forward to the email saying there is something from Daily Strength.

Love you all
Mary

I think it helps to know that we are not alone. I have never had the opportunity to travel and even have difficulty getting away to see my son and his family in another state. My hubby doesn't enjoy traveling since he went into a wheelchair over 25 years ago. Back then things weren't as accessible and he was afraid to go far from home. All the things that we had hoped to do after our boys got out of school were no longer a possibility for us. Not that a lot of people in wheelchairs don't do the things he isn't willing to do but for him it isn't an option.

Now that I have retired from nursing after 28 years......now that I have cared for my dad, mom, brother, and sister-in-law until they died......I guess I was kind of hoping someone would take care of me for a change.

Now that my hubby has been dx with vascular dementia several years ago, he has become a man that I don't even know. Suspicious, paranoid, accusing me of infidelity in my own home upstairs in our boys bedrooms........where is the man who used to treat me like I was someone special??? It is constant arguing and if I ignore the behavior he sometimes seems worse.

Guess I am not the only one who feels ashamed of their behavior from time to time. Thanks, as always, for just being here for me....

Good to see boxermom back. I have been wondering about you.

I think we are ALL doing our best to give care and support to our
spouses. It is sad we have to give up so much of ourselves to do so.

Green-eyed Monster just part of the deal. We can't help those feelings.

By the way... I really do have green eyes... green as a gourd :-D

Lol so do I Judy, although their intensity varies with how I'm feeling. On my b.d. they were very bright, must have been because for the first time in so long I was having a real good time and not worried about what I had to do next.

I'm so glad I was able to read this thread. Most of my friends are empty nester's and have "enough" money to enjoy their retirement. Here I am. I can leave for an hour or two by myself and I cherish that time. Most of my friends, when they can, work within my limitations and we'll meet for lunch or a movie. Thank heavens!!! I try to plan all my outside activities around Mother's rest time.
But boy....... when my friends are on a cruise or touring France or visiting children, it kills me. I have hazel eyes but the green really comes out when I hear about their fantastic time!