Yeah I can relate to that, having fear but not really knowing what of...think what I always wanted was to 'dodge the bullet'...wake up with the feeling 'phew I got away with it' :)

when I stopped drinking there were less bullets to dodge, I know that. And if you can't keep going on your own AA is always there. I found like a lot of things the fear was worse than the reality

P

Congrats on 4 weeks Hati Maybe your moment of clarity You realised
"you cannot have one drink" like you I thought if all else fails maybe I'll try AA I did hypnosis I remember it being an enjoyable experience.So relaxing teamed that up with taking antibuse That way I managed 6 months Truth was I couldn't afford the 40 a session for ever The antibuse was just the pescription fee but I be ame concerned at long term effects of taking it So after a bad relapse I crawled into AA That was 7 and a half yezrs ago and together with learning as much as possible about my disease by coming on here learnig from many I'm very happy to be living a different life in sobriety Thats just my path so far Give it a go Its free

Congrats on 4th week dear, and yea i feel the same way as you do only because I do not know anyone. I am pretty outgoing but when I realized that they only desire to stop drinking.But the thing is needed is Just keep an open mind.

It's great you made it to 4 weeks, well done!

Whether you can make it on your own long term (I'm thinking years, not weeks or months) will very much depend on where you were with choice and control in your drinking when you stopped.

I'm not one who will ever say "you will be fine" or "you can do this" because I don't remotely know you or whether you are actually alcoholic or not.

If you don't want to go to AA there are other routes to take but most likely you will be nervous at first of going to anything that involves change, that is normal. But you go so far as to say "terrified" and that puzzles me. You know there are lots of us here who got sober long term in AA and I hope we come across as helpful, like we try to be face to face in the rooms. Just in my home group alone there is a real cross section of society at large - shop workers, nurses, lawyers, housewives, young mums etc.

Can you say more about what exactly you are scared of?

Can you do it on your own? Not sure - only time can tell. Some can do it on their own, others (like me) needed a program of action in the form of AA. I know for a fact that I tried to do it on my own for years, and I failed miserably. And even those who do it on their own still have some sort of plan of action. An alcoholic can't simply wake up and say "no more" and then ride off into the sunset. Something has to change - a mindset, a perspective, a spiritual awakening, a course of decisions that counter our usual thoughts to drink it all away.

This is your journey, so I can't say what will work for you. AA worked for me, and that's pretty much all I can opine about. Congrats on 4 weeks - that's pretty good.

when i crawled into AA with an open mind it was the last house on the block. didnt have a choice. it was helpful that it was in a building i had been in many times over the yrs(barber shop, pharmacy and bait shop) so i was comfortable with the building. i had been forced to go there by judges order before so there were a few faces i remembered. that was helpful. my experience is alcoholics r some of the nicest people u will ever know. although i would have to add there r a few predators and they recommend that u dont get romantically involved for a year(good advice i think). i would suggest some womens meetings for starters. nothing to b afraid of. i think i was scared of never drinking again. it took me a long time to figure out sobriety was way more fun and the only way i could live and b at peace with myself

great on one month!!!!

if you want to go, don't be scared! you don't have to speak if you don't want to i hear,,,,just say"pass" and kick back and take it all in.

AA popular here and successful it seems, but everyones recovery is different, I haven't attended an AA meet, I do however attend a group and have one 2 one chats to keep me motivated. See how you get on, don't put pressure on yourself, crack on, your doing great, if you need further support go or like people say go for one and listen, can never get enough from other peoples journeys I feel! Best wishes! :D

Congratulations on 4 weeks, Hati!

I'm not sure where your fear originates. My experience and analogy is something like this:

Say I had diabetes..and did all the self care I could muster, yet many other diabetics testified that being on medication, sometimes insulin injections helped them lead a more healthy, happier life. Albeit they were afraid of having to take medication via injection, they took the plunge(so to speak), and found relief..felt better, bonded with others with the same affliction, and discovered the fear left as they grew healthier and thus happier.

If I witnessed others who made it past that fear and were enjoying life despite at first being afraid to take medicine, I'd give it an open minded try.

It may or may not work. There may be other 'treatment' that would accomplish the management of symptoms, but what if AA works as well for you?

Just something to think about...

What have you got to lose?

AA is not my only form of treatment. But it certainly was a baseline that opened doors for other helpful processes that helped me. I'm thankful that I had help from others in AA to encourage me, and shared their experience, strength and hope.

Best wishes to you in whatever you choose, Hati

Thankyou everyone for taking the trouble to reply. I really do appreciate it. Maybe Antonia "terrified" was too strong a word and maybe Im not alcoholic because I wouldnt drink everyday. Well nit recently. I used to. But I definately binge drunk. I dont think I would ever have a drink and stop before I was legless. And I think my wake up call was when I fell over drunk and broke my ribs. I can barely write this cos it sickens me but I had my kids with me!!
what scares me with AA is obviously the usual nerves of stepping into a room full of people u dont know. The shame that its come to this. The commitment it perhaps requires. people finding out. Everything lol.

u can go to open meetings. non-alcoholics r welcome. ive heard people say they arent alcoholics but want to see what a meeting is like for whatever reason. to go to closed meetings all that is required is a desire to stop drinking. a lot of people say im just going to listen today. course i can never keep my mouth shut but its something im still working on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EuAZsz_z_U

Hi Hati,

Congrats on your 4 weeks! I agree with paulokes that for a lot of things the fear was worse than the reality. Remember, in an AA meeting we're all there for the same reason...we drink too much, and we want to stop. As for people finding out, you might be surprised to find they already either know or were suspicious you had a problem anyway. Going to a meeting doesn't mean you have to make a commitment, and the shame you might feel at first goes away pretty fast once you start hearing about how others are dealing with it.

For me, going to a meeting meant there was no turning back from the idea that I really did have a serious problem and could no longer sweep my behavior under the rug. That was the scary part. I had to accept it and take responsibility for it. Not particularly pleasant or comfortable!

On the other hand, I met great people who became great friends over time, and who really helped me out when I hit the unavoidable rough spots life threw at me fast. Totally worth the courage it took to face the fear.

I was told once that I didn't drink alone, so why should I have to get sober alone? Made sense to me.

BTW, I didn't drink every day either. Many of us didn't. There's a whole list of things that didn't happen to me because of alcohol. Fortunately, you don't have to wait until they DO happen before you drop in at an AA meeting.

Whatever you decide, best of luck!

Just do it. Go to a meeting.

I don't know why it terrifies you. I know it terrified me for some time. I quit many times. I'd quit for a few months, a few weeks, even a few years.
it wasnt until I came here, about 2 years before I got sober, that it was strongly suggested I try AA. I resisted. I was scared. Scared to admit I was alcoholic for *real* and in real life. Scared I'd see people I know, just scared. That fear kept me on the hampster wheel of on again off again drinking for 2 years. Finally after I'd stayed absintent for 3 months, then couldnt put together more than a month over the next 9, I gave up. I just was sick and tired and exhausted with it all. I went to AA. My last drink was that night before my first meeting.
Its been a godsend for me and getting and staying sober is the most important part, but its been so so SO much more.
So yep, I'd encourage you not to take my path. Just go. Its the easier softer way.

congrats on 4 weeks - you rock - I am not a meeting person...I find it a bit too self indulgent...but these forums have been great and I am now @ 3 weeks, I am going to include counseling in my recovery....but I think you know yourself, you may or may not need the support of AA. If you think you might, try it and if it doesn't work for you than you can always choose an alternate route...I am going to try hypnosis as well...for my anxiety too. nice to hear you think it might have helped you. Good Luck on your continued success!