HTL,

I am learning that if I expect to grow in recovery -- I have to let go of my old ideas. I have spent many years hanging onto them. Today I can see that there are no worthy dividends attached to them for me. If I let go of them, then, today I can enjoy a life of freedom and unsefulness to others that I never dreamed of.

Darrell

Hello Anna,

You have raised some valid points and the fact that you have realized that there is a difference between not drinking and recovery will certainly help you on your way.

Interesting points raised by Nemo as well. However, I think that there is a big difference between preaching to people and making a genuine attempt to pass on to them what was freely given and what has worked for you. Is it not better to have millions given the chance to recover even if a few may be insulted by what is suggested? I speak as one of those I dont need your help drunks who thought that I could fix it and that other people should mind their own business. Thank God some people were wise enough to hurt my feelings or was it deflation of ego?

I used to hear at AA meetings that the only way to stay sober was through the 12 Step programme and this is what I believed. However, there were people whom I knew to be sober alcoholics for many years and they never went to meetings let alone live by the programme. What I now realize is that different things work for different people and that there is no one right way. However, the 12 Step programme is tried and tested and proven to work, for those who are willing to be honest with themselves.

Shortly after I started going to AA meetings I observed that there were two types of people there. There were some who had short periods of sobriety, followed by relapse and then a sometimes torturous journey back to AA, only to repeat the whole process again. There were others who seemed to get it and who had a certain aura of happiness about them, even when things were not going well in their lives. Of this second group, some were new to AA but had wasted no time in getting a sponsor and doing the steps. Perhaps more fascinating were those other people who had been going to meetings for years but who had never bothered with steps until something made them change their minds. It is by listening to this second group that I learned the difference between not drinking and recovery.

By going to meetings, the mental obsession for alcohol may be removed (or may not) but life can become even more unmanageable, now that the alcohol prop is gone. The Big Book describes it well as Restless, Irritable and Discontented. I believe that a large part of the fault for this lies with the direction that AA meetings have taken. At the start, AA was about the 12 Step programme and recovery rates were said to have been 75%. Then the focus of the meetings changed to the sharing of drinking stories, weather problems, sick dogs, relationships etc. There are many meetings where recovery is not mentioned and talk of steps is avoided if at all possible. In this way, newcomers may come and go without ever hearing that they can recover from alcoholism.

People who have been around for many years become sponsors but they may never have learned much about steps. With kind hearts and the best of intentions they try to pass on to other people something that they dont really have themselves. Sponsors are human beings and alcoholics and some will fail but their chances of failure are so much greater if they do not have a grasp on the programme. That is why it is so important to use all means and methods for delivering the message. If there had been computers, DVDs etc. around in 1939, I am sure that you would be buying a DVD with the Big Book. Therefore, I make no apologies for suggesting that those modern methods may be used for explaining what is in the BB. Ignorance is not bliss.

Meetings, D.S., Church etc. are all good and necessary support mechanisms and should never be discounted. However, it is not by attending 90 meetings in 90 days that people recover. Somewhere along the way while working through the 12 Steps, a spiritual awakening occurs that is sufficient to enable a person to recover from alcoholism.

Back to ignoring. Dang.

"Many meetings where recovery is not mentioned and talk of steps is avoided if at all possible"

Makes me glad I sobered up in the USA.

PJ, if I were in a group where "many" meetings didn't concern the solution, I think I'd find a new group. Just sayin'.

Geez, Dn. I never realized you took me OFF ignore. For such a seemingly nice lady, you sure confuse the crap outta me.

@ gr8ful2b
Sometimes it is not possible to find a decent group. We have for example 10 meetings a week in our region which is about 50 squaremiles big and one is as bad as the other. Actually, I have not seen a meeting in Germany yet which looks anything like AA. If they wouldn't read the preamble at the beginning it could be anything.

Tinygecko,

Man 'o man. Wonder why so different? Do you have any idea?

I know you guys (you & cd) have mentioned that before).