Hi Angie73. You sound like you have been to way more meetings then I have. I just really started trying to go this week (went to two yesterday and one this morning). In all honesty, I don't think AA will magically stop your cravings or magically stop your drinking. Only you can stop your drinking. AA is like a big toolbox that you can go to to get a bunch of different tools to help you move through recovery from the problems alcohol has caused in your life. The AA experience is one peice of a "journey" on your own personal path to having a life without alcohol in your body as a direct factor. It will remain in your brain forever though. It never goes away. I'm far from an expert in "recovery" myself. I'm bran new to it in the most personal sense.
Another tricky thing to do is to listen closely to what people share at the meeting that IS a little similar to your experience(s). Is there a person who is your same gender? Is there a person who describes a relationship experience, or a family experience, or an experience of sneaking to drink or hiding or lieing, that is similar to anything you have every done? Is someone similar in describing their personality style (busy all the time; restless; depressed; tending to want to be alone; the life of the party; avoidant; insecure about work; fearful of sucess; highly successful; or an over achiever for example)? IF there are any similarities, perhaps you can see that you have a few things in common with some of the people. If that never happens at all...and you really feel alienated; perhaps try another meeting...OR it could be that you need a little more time. Also, AA is not for everyone. There are other programs like "smart recovery" which you can google online. The program is different from AA, but it can be extremely helpful to people. It has even been researched by experts who study recovery all day and night and it has been shown to work.

Good luck to you! I don't know if you are under the care of a physician, or if you have resources for medicine, but the medicine Naltrexone is extremely helpful at reducing cravings. It is NOT a miracle pill, though, your BEHAVIOR still has to change and you will need some sort of serious support and a plan to help you.

It is sooooooo good that you are going to AA meetings already. You have already started your journey.

Thank you for all your replies. I went to a meeting today for the first time in a long time. It was nice to see a couple of familiar faces. I just keep hoping that there is something that I will hear that will "click" and I wont want to drink. I got my first 11 years cause I got pregnant with my daughter and totally focused on raising her, and the second 2 1/2 years cause I had a stroke. Right now I am praying for the desire to want to stop drinking.

Hey Angie......I can relate to not drinking when pregnant or engrossed in kid stuff. I didnt drink pre pregnancy, during or nursing. So didnt drink for 2+ years with each of my children.
Then I started again and it was like I never stopped and then some.
Anyway, I don't think we get sober sitting in meetings. You have to take action. The steps are suggestions only. I heard tonight in a step study they are suggestions just like its suggested you pull the "rip" cord on a parachute if you are going to jump out of a plane;-) Good luck. Keep coming back and also get a sponsor and work the steps. So you can keep coming back and keep / or get...depending on where you are at....sanity and serenity.

Did they tell you to relate not compare? Your "bottom " can be now, later , or death. It's up to you.
Once you suffer loss of control over alcohol, all the rest is just a matter of time.
Also remember denial prevents you from seeing the full ramifications of your drinking right away. It comes slowly.
"The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking."