I think the answers to your questions about balancing your social life and sobriety will come to you if you give AA a red hot go. In a way this issue was easy for me because I had lost all my good friends and was drinking in skuzzy bars with people who were as sick as me, alcoholics, addicts, prostitutes (male and female), criminals, drug pushers with no standards of behaviour and just degradation. BTW I was working successfully in a high end career while living that way until it all imploded in the end. So when I got sober in AA (nearly 12 years sober now) it was a no-brainer for me that i needed to stay away from that environment. We say, "Sit the barbershop long enough and you will get a haircut". Meaning if I had stuck around in my "old environment" drinking coca cola, I would eventually bust and drink again.

However, some sober alcoholics find that they CAN visit drinking establishments if they have a reason to be there that is distinct from going there to drink - like you said dance clubs, out for a meal, a business meeting etc. (BTW I can go anywhere I want now and never have the urge to drink - but that's because I have put in the hard yards in AA and one place I am not interested in going to are those skuzzy bards because there is nothing there for me).

I also had friends who went to dance clubs once thet had gotten sober - stuck in packs with other sober alcoholics which is absolutely crucial and are here to tell the tale.

Conversely there have been many who have revisited their old haunts, it has triggered them back into drinking and drugging and they are now dead. I'm not being over-dramatic about that - I mean a LOT of people.

My best suggestion is to get to AA, get some sobriety up WITHOUT going to the clubs (they'll still be there should you ever decide to go back) and then decide, with wise counsel from an AA sponsor and other sober trusted women whether it is worth you re-visiting those environments. If your frineds are truely freinds, they will stick with you through you getting sober and staying sober. You will be able to find other ways to have social contact with the friends that do stick by you. At the moment, you're in a dynamic which says, the only place I can have fun, freedom, and socialisation is in the dance clubs. If you do commit to sobriety you will find that there are INFINITE options for all of that in this wide world and more fun than you'll know what to do with.

Another program you might want to check out is Moderation Management (www.moderation.org). It is for those who want to control their drinking---or, if necessary, stop drinking.

Also, OCD is very easily controlled with medication and, as you know, booze never helps a bad situation.

Take good care,
Diane