Good morning people who are up before twilight. My dogs don't care where the sun is, if it is daylight savings, or if momma was dreaming warmly under her blankets. Nudge! Nudge! I am at the door! Creaky house, loud door.

So yeah, i am the early bird who would use these hours, which i am trained to awake, sneaking off to myself & maybe some chilled blueberry wine. Do you know what blueberry wine stashed on a cool November night feels like? Of course you do, you're alcoholics.

That was a joke. I am only hear to follow my own muse.

Sigh.

It is hard to accept a label. Generally speaking, i say fuck labels. You be you, labels are to box one in, not liberate. I can't accept that my big, lazy, beautiful brain has failed so miserably to be this age, this broke.

I can't deal with a lot of things, not limited to men & money, but you know.. 

I am a self-destructive tsunami of a person sometimes.. I will tear it all down for alcohol. I want Kriek (Cherry) Belgian Beer, Prosecco.. i want sake in a chilled cucumber cup.. I want blackberries muddled & mint leaves somewhere. I want a Bloody Mary cart with pickled asparagus, season salt & horseradish & Thai garlic hot sauce.

I got it bad.

I know i am not the only one who deludes themselves with the romance of this poison. I am not the only one facing a label that is true & powerful. I am an alcoholic. There it is.

I own that alcohol is not a thing i can adult with. Do you know where all that booze leads? Of course you do, you're an alcoholic.

We all know where that shit leads. No one is bringing me to their sculpture garden in a Tesla when i pop this bottle. That ain't happening. What is happening? Am i losing the respect of the people i luv?

Absolutely.

Have a promoted my career prospects or future? 

Yeah right.

Do i feel like total hell for like a week bc I'm old af to torture myself this way?

You know it

Because you're one too