Hello sweetchick,

The title of your post is Want to get sober and that is a good starting position. The big question now is, what are you prepared to do in order to reach your goal?

The cycle of detox and drinking is likely to continue, with the sober periods getting shorter and more difficult unless you make changes. You have been to AA if my recollection is correct so what have you learned? Do you know the exact reasons why you cannot stop your two bottles a day? Have you learned about the obsession that leaves you defenceless against the thinking that leads up to taking the first drink? Do you know about how your reaction to alcohol has changed so that you develop a craving for more once you take the first drink? You will learn about these things at Big Book and Step Meetings. The link below will give you an excellent crash course:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pVBDQPC2XQ

Once you understand the problem, you can apply a solution that works. That solution will involve some big changes in your way of thinking and will require that you get out of your comfort zone. Embarrassment comes from hurt pride so are you prepared to ditch the pride and do what it takes? Breaking up with your boyfriend is not the cause of your drinking - alcoholism is the problem.

You want to get sober. How about seeking help from a sponsor, a lady who had the same problem that you have but who has found the answers? You can do it but it will take action on your part.

I tried many times to put down the bottle. I just couldn't do it alone. I suggest making a commitment to find someplace that you can learn ways to cope and live life again I found a group and we help each other to stay sober. It is possible but you have to go get it.
1is2many

We drink for the effect of the alcohol -- broken relationships can bring pain -- and we need to get the desired effect from somewhere, something or someone else if we are to live without drinking. Spiritual fellowship with like-minded others is what makes the difference for me today, and that can be possible for anyone by taking the Twelve Steps of A.A.

Believe me, you wouldn't be the first person that ever showed up at an AA meeting with the shakes and I can guarantee you that every single person in that room will understand what you are going through!

It took alot of work before I was able to put down the bottle for good and it started with detox, followed by a 3 week outpatient program, followed by 3 months of counseling, combined with AA meetings!

I made the decision to do everything in my power to quit drinking for good because I no longer wanted to make my family suffer anymore as they were fearfully watching me commit a slow suicide. I never, ever want to put them through that horror again because I know what it feels like having lost both parents to this deadly disease.

If you want to quit and are serious about it then everyone on this board will go way out of their way to help in any way then can, but if you want to die young then that's your choice....

We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers,

God Bless,

Bob

Sweetichick,

I'm 18 days sober. 18 days ago, I went to my first AA meeting. I was highly dysfunctional and in terrible shape. I had to have a friend drive me because I was still wasted from the night before. That last night, I blacked out as usual, but I fell (again) and broke a lamp, fell straight into my closet and gave myself a concussion. I sobered up on my own, only because I had anti-seizure and anxiety meds already prescribed to me. AA is literally a God send. Please, please attend a meeting. You will feel so much power and strength you won't believe it. I will pray for you.

It's occurred to me lately that "freedom" is tough. We have the freedom to go to the store and buy a bottle anytime we want; and with that type of temptation, it is difficult to stop unless we REALLY want to stop. Once I realized that I was about to lose everything important to me in my life, it is amazing how easy it was to finally stop. This is in spite of the fact, that I tried stopping many times before.

How about seeing your doctor and telling him-her of your intentions. You may need meds in the beginning. Never give up. Please keep us posted about your course of action. Go outside and get some exercise, drink lots of water, take an Epsom salt bath with lavender essential oil. Make it through the physical part first. Hang in there. Love and hugs

Nobody at AA will judge you I promise. We have all been there and know what it's like. AA has saved my life. 6 years of being sober is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wish you the best of luck. You never have to drink again!

I pray that you can do this.

Sobriety can happen if you work at it, and if it's the right time. It's great that you want to get sober and recognize that there is an issue with your drinking. I agree with others who said that you won't be judged at AA, people that show up there for the first time usually aren't doing too well. If you still feel uncomfortable with that, maybe try talking to a doctor, counselor, trusted friends or family. It will all work itself out, once you get started.

Dont be afraid of AA. Most of them got there the same way. They will welcome you with open arms and you will meet great new friends

Thanks for sharing your story. I was once where you are. In a way, I still am. I'm stuck in this pattern of getting sober, relapsing for a couple of days, and then getting sober again. The only thing that helped me break that pattern was rehab followed by AA meetings everyday. I was able to stay sober for 10 months. That may not seem like a long time, but that is monumental for me. The best of luck to you. If you need someone to talk too, I'm here for you.

Thank you all for your replies. I was finally able to see a doctor and get meds to avoid having seizures. So today will be day 1 for me. I have to do this no matter how hard it is. I intend going to AA asap.

So glad to hear that! Glad you are getting help and trust me no one that needs to go to AA meetings will ever judge you! Congrats on day 1 go one day heck even one hour at a time.

Thats what I'll have to do. Just take it an hour at a time. I've been hit by a big craving already but determined to do this.