Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Why it has taken me 4 mos to realize this I have no idea, but...
EMOTION="urge to drink"
I cannot even distinguish between the two. When I feel emotion, I want to drink. It is beyond "self medication" - It is a trigger.
Until getting sober recently, I think I almost never really felt any emotion, good or bad, without following it up with a drink.
Recognizing this has been helping me the past few days. I am afraid to drink. I am not afraid of emotion.
Now I can say... "That is emotion. That is not an urge to drink. Emotion is okay."
...And so I let myself feel. It won't kill me to feel. It will kill me to drink.
This doesn't take away the urge to drink, but it does take some of the power from it.
EMOTION="urge to drink"
I cannot even distinguish between the two. When I feel emotion, I want to drink. It is beyond "self medication" - It is a trigger.
Until getting sober recently, I think I almost never really felt any emotion, good or bad, without following it up with a drink.
Recognizing this has been helping me the past few days. I am afraid to drink. I am not afraid of emotion.
Now I can say... "That is emotion. That is not an urge to drink. Emotion is okay."
...And so I let myself feel. It won't kill me to feel. It will kill me to drink.
This doesn't take away the urge to drink, but it does take some of the power from it.
Boredom leads to restless, irritable, and discontent. Similar to emotion triggering an urge to drink... What did you used to do when you were bored on the weekend? You probably drank. So, the key is to find a replacement activity. Once I feel these things, I can't focus either. I can maybe nap or force myself to exercise.
Besides escaping with booze, I have detached from emotions my whole life, or stuffed them. I find that the only thing to do is to really feel them and try to understand what is causing them. Sometimes I am just down, but usually there is a trigger for the emotion and once I see it for what it is, I can know the proper action to take if anything. Sometimes I can try to let it go if I can recognize irrationality. If I don't "deal" with them, the fester and come out later sideways or backward.
I was thinking as I read this thread, that I learned in recovery that I can change what I think, believe and feel by changing what I DO. One of the simplest things I can do, I found, that improves my quality of life enormously, is to smile and say hello to someone. :)
I have been told, and it has been my experience, that the more we exercise the conscious choice to resist a drink when that voice tells us "Go on!", the stronger we get. Just like exercising strengthens us physically, this is a mental "muscle" that benefits from regular exercise.
Reading your post brought that back to me.
Thanks!
I definetly have felt things I hadnt in a while over the past 95+ days. Taking the power out of it is so helpful.
I shared in a meeting one time that I just could not stand feeling the pain and loss I felt after my husband died, and not want a drink. A woman spoke to me after the meeting - she said that sometimes we just have to sit still and hurt.
I just did not know how to do that - what? Sit still and hurt and NOT drink? She told me that the feelings would always pass, or lessen, and that I would be sober when they did.
It worked.