I tried to get sober outside AA and I am now sober inside AA.
Before I got sober I used my drinking as compared to others as a huge excuse not to go to AA. I now know that for me, my drinking was a problem, and that's all that matters:-)

Not a discussion ,but I believe it all boils down to differences ,that have occurred long before Me at least ,was introduced to AA or spiritual principles .

And through the years of me categorizing myself as this or that . It s tried to become something much larger than living just as Human being does and striving just for Universal truths without any (name) of ways to evolve or attached to those truths.

Oh and groups being separate or apart from, that too I believe is just a sneaky way for me to feel special or different:)

But yes Im a AAer lol half my life's worth!
Billy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3ixRqOauq4

Nah, I have never felt that. I have a couple of friends who are sober many years without AA (both pretty bad and admitted alcoholics). One is very active in his church and community and the other active in his music (he could use a chill pill now and then. lol)

Big difference face to face than here on DS. A seed was planted when I got sober years ago, and sobriety looked appealing to them. Although AA did not appeal to my friends, sobriety did, so the attraction worked!

They respect me and my program. There's never been a debate in all the years I was in AA and they weren't. Not once. I don't question their sobriety and they don't question mine. We are just three grateful sober people at all the parties. The subject never comes up actually.

That's all I got. :))

No-just like I do not think someone who goes to see a behavioral therapist for their depression is any better or worse off than someone who sees a cognitive therapist. It depends on the individual, and the nature of their response to treatment.

my issue with drinking and no AA was that I had a relapse at a moment of weakness...in AA I have yet to give in to the moments of weakness....

but for me I was in situation where I had done the geographical change...I moved to Guam....I knew I needed a support system on Guam because I craved people interactions....I developed a support system but the drinking was a part of it until I decided I would use that other support system I knew of to quit drinking...AA

I do not look down on anyone who maintains their sobriety without AA....I do not think I need to push AA to anyone either....I offer it as a possible solution to someone's drinking and then try to break down any resistances to that help....


hugs good question Nicky

Early in my sobriety I was of the belief that AA was the only way but my sponsor spoke with me about that and said G8 how you get sober is your business and how others do it is their business. If your journey helps others fantastic if not then that is just each others journey.

The important thing to remember they told me was it is not important how we get sober, the important this is we get sober.

And as I have said before if getting sober means running around the coffee table in your birthday suit singing hail Marys then do it.

G8

My son goes, and I love going to his soberversaries...but I do not go regularly to meetings of my own. Yes, he was a worse alcoholic than I was...but I too, think it is just a matter of what works for each person...and where they are on their spiritual journey. I like the social aspect of being with others, but I tend to take in their hurts to my heart and so for me, a group is not safe. That being said, I have read all the aa and alanon materials as well as some others.
I say, whatever works, whatever it takes, and God bless us everyone.

Im active in AA for 5 plus years but somehow dont think of myself as a traditional AA person as ive never had an official sponsor and have used the steps in a way I find appropriate
Back a year or two I used to get quite pissed off by people in meetings who shared little lines like "i'm a real alcoholic"( I guess the rest of us were there just for the tea/coffee) or said things like if you havent done the steps with a sponsor your heading for trouble Like how its working for them is the only way
Havent heard much of it lately but if I did now I'd probably smile to myself (progress)
One of the real pluses of being on here for me is I have been able to acompany both peaple in AA and non AAers and I gain knowledgeand exp. from both groups

My parents have never been to AA and, according to them, are not alcoholic.

I am alcoholic and go to AA and have HP and work program.

I see no difference.

First of all, if I am honest, I thought they wouldnt be as happy and contented yet it is amazing to see how their sobriety is. I used to think they were 'dry drunks' (how judgemental of me!) and now realise they are sober :)

The only 'rivalry' there seems to be in the area I live is within AA....the ones who walk in 'off the street' v 'treatment'! I don't like that much. To me....it is what it is.

I agree its very much down to individual preferences. For me I tried AA and did enjoy going, however I was expected to attend st least 3 times a week. Although sobriety is my main priority, so is my mental health and for me, giving up uni was not an option for me as I know I would become depressed being ay home not working and so I was unable to attend AA as much as i would have liked so i go to a alcohol centre and see a key worker once a week so there's no pressure but have all the support I need. For me, I don't want to live the rest of my life having to go to AA meetings regularly because I feel that having to do that forever is being a slave to alcohol like in never gonna be free of it and the days going to meetings could be days spending with my children doing fun things. I've been sober 5 months and 7 days and the main reason is my kids, not hurting them keeps me sober, knowing that my actions as an alcoholic mother may induce future mental health problems with my children which I will do anything to avoid. This is only my opinion and what works for me so I'm not by anymeans dissagreeing with AA or anything because its fab for most people just not for me. Xx

Hello nickj180,

I worked for many years in a place where there was a high percentage of alcoholics of what could be termed the hopeless variety. Some of these people would be sent away to a treatment centre or to the mental hospital now and again with varying results. One of the reasons I wanted to give a wide berth to Alcoholics Anonymous when years later I came to have a similar problem with alcohol was because I didnt want to meet any of these people at AA meetings.

Surprisingly, when I did finally go to many meetings over a wide area I did not meet any, except perhaps one of these once chronic alcoholics. Yet some of them had been sober for many years so obviously they did it by some other means. Some others continued to struggle with alcoholism into old age and a few died before their time.

When I realized that I had to stop drinking I would have been very much in favour of following some self-help route as the AA concept did not appeal to me at any level. Ignorance of alcoholism and a lack of access to information about the available options led to few choices being available to me at the time. My preferred course of action was to gather some knowledge about the problem and to try to solve it on my own. Within a very short time I concluded that the self-help idea was not going to work. Then, still wishing to keep it all quiet and private I explored the counselling option. Not having any experience in such matters I found it impossible to get access to a counsellor without going through the official channels of the local doctor etc. and I didnt want to do that.

Reluctantly, I eventually decided to go to AA meetings, not really knowing what to expect. What I found was that by going to meetings I could do almost with some ease what had been impossible to do before and stop drinking. I later came to believe that there had to be some sort of power in those rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous that allowed me to stay sober.

Education and new ideas are things that always interested me and I soon developed a fascination for those 12 Steps that hung on the walls of the AA meeting rooms. Some people shunned all talk about steps as if it was a taboo subject to be avoided at all costs; others maintained that the only step they needed was Step 1. My preferred meeting was a Big Book meeting and of course the subject matter was the 12 Step programme. Wiser people than I, who had many years of sobriety insisted that it would only be by the Steps that people could recover from alcoholism and I was not in any position to argue otherwise at the time. However, I kept thinking back to those no hopers I had known years before and who got sober without ever going to an AA meeting. Who was right and who was wrong I had no answers?

Some of those old-timers at work all of those years ago who got sober without AA were the object of some amusement and indeed ridicule because they had found religion. The general consensus among the wise men who sat in judgement was that these now sober alcoholics has so much time on their hands because they were no longer drinking that they tried to fill some of the day by going to church. Today, I know that their church visits were for another reason and that they had found or were looking for a connection to a higher power that would help them to stay sober. I believe that these people had come to have some sort of spiritual experience even though they knew little or nothing about AA or 12step programmes. They arrived by another means on the same path that is followed by many people in AA and they stayed sober as a result.

As I continued to go to AA meetings I observed that there were people there, some of whom had been going to AA for a long time and who constantly struggled with alcoholism. These people looked for support from and identification with other AA members and they were often fond of the little slogans that can be in the meeting rooms, such as Keep It Simple. Their mantra was I keep it simple and I dont analyse the program.

Being somewhat open to new thinking and having a strong interest in how things worked I fell into the 12 Step idea without giving it any great thought. I was aware of the warnings of the people who said that not doing the steps would almost certainly lead to drinking and of course I could observe the struggles of those who choose to go it alone. Fear of drinking and ignorance of the facts were probably a good part of my motivation.

Today, as I look back with the benefit of hindsight I believe that had I not gone to AA meetings that I would still be drinking, or perhaps worse. Had I never bothered with getting a sponsor or doing the Steps, it is quite possible that I would still not drink. However, there would be a grave danger that a negative reaction to some people, places or things would drive me back to the old solution of drinking. I would lean towards the belief that I would not drink had I not done the Steps but I cannot be certain.

Regardless of whether I took a drink or not, I believe that my life today would be far from happy or serene without the benefit of those 12 Steps. For me, not drinking was but the start of a great journey of exploration. If I choose to put what I have learned into use the possibilities are endless. As time goes on I have gained more knowledge of the meaning behind the simple words in those Steps and I have come to rely on my own judgement rather than blindly accepting the beliefs of other people.

I am sometimes amused by the ferocity of the argument on both sides of the AA versus self-will approaches. When I listen to the arguments I see where I was not so long ago a case of my way is the only right way. Some people accuse AA of being a cult or a religion and of course it is neither of those things. However, the more that I look into the principles outlined in those Steps the more I see the type of spiritual movement that I had spent so much time looking for in my younger days. For me the spiritual vacuum was a precursor to alcoholism. There had been a spiritual void within that I had tried to fill by drinking.

The Big Book tells us that more will be revealed and as I continue through this great journey of progress rather than perfection I have indeed found that new knowledge is constantly leading me to re-evaluate many things that had previously been set in stone. One thing that keeps jumping out at me is the idea of finding a balance in all things. I believe that there are many ways of finding that balance and it would be foolish of me to claim that my way is the only way. However, for me the search for something that would fill the spiritual void and lead to recovery from alcoholism came to an end the night that I reads those 12 Steps on the scroll that hung on the wall of an AA room.

I firmly believe that although I desperately needed AA in order to get sober that my alcohol problem was not nearly as far advanced as many others I have known both inside and outside of AA and who have remained sober without any programme or indeed without any meetings in some cases. However, I also believe that there are many alcoholics who will not get sober without both meetings and a programme. I have come to know some of these people very well and I would have no doubts about their willpower and commitment. Some of them are people who have done well in running a business, where strong willpower is essential for success. Yet, these very same people have absolutely no hope of staying sober without a programme of recovery.

For me, the puzzle is solved in the first paragraph of Chapter 4, We Agnostics in the Big Book: If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer. It does not say that you have to go to AA or do Steps in order to recover but you MAY need to go down that road.

PJ54 says: "I am sometimes amused by the ferocity of the argument on both sides of the AA versus self-will approaches. When I listen to the arguments I see where I was not so long ago a case of my way is the only right way. "

I would say that is a bit black and white. Not everyone outside of AA does so because they are head strong, wants to rebel, i.e., has to do things "there way." Nor is is seen as a cult be alkis who do not choose to participate.

I actually feel I am doing things the RIGHT way for me today-outside of AA. Mormons in my community sadly have had the same comment with their religion, that people do not join because it is they do not want the full truth, and cannot handle the rigorous lifestyle.

I certainly do not steer this ship-and I am not in AA (or mormon). It is hard for me to hear these assumptions by AAers on this board. Honestly, when I first decided to discontinue AA I had to stay clear of this board because, while I knew it was my healty brain telling me this was the correct decisions-I would hear this type of black and white thinking and it would discourage me.

Now I can say it is just plain limited in scope, and not accurate in my case at all.

PJ54 says: "I am sometimes amused by the ferocity of the argument on both sides of the AA versus self-will approaches. When I listen to the arguments I see where I was not so long ago a case of my way is the only right way. "

I would say that is a bit black and white. Not everyone outside of AA does so because they are head strong, wants to rebel, i.e., has to do things "there way." Nor is is seen as a cult be alkis who do not choose to participate.

I actually feel I am doing things the RIGHT way for me today-outside of AA. Mormons in my community sadly have had the same comment with their religion, that people do not join because it is they do not want the full truth, and cannot handle the rigorous lifestyle.

I certainly do not steer this ship-and I am not in AA (or mormon). It is hard for me to hear these assumptions by AAers on this board. Honestly, when I first decided to discontinue AA I had to stay clear of this board because, while I knew it was my healty brain telling me this was the correct decisions-I would hear this type of black and white thinking and it would discourage me.

Now I can say it is just plain limited in scope, and not accurate in my case at all.

PJ54 says: "I am sometimes amused by the ferocity of the argument on both sides of the AA versus self-will approaches. When I listen to the arguments I see where I was not so long ago a case of my way is the only right way. "

I would say that is a bit black and white. Not everyone outside of AA does so because they are head strong, wants to rebel, i.e., has to do things "there way." Nor is is seen as a cult be alkis who do not choose to participate.

I actually feel I am doing things the RIGHT way for me today-outside of AA. Mormons in my community sadly have had the same comment with their religion, that people do not join because it is they do not want the full truth, and cannot handle the rigorous lifestyle.

I certainly do not steer this ship-and I am not in AA (or mormon). It is hard for me to hear these assumptions by AAers on this board. Honestly, when I first decided to discontinue AA I had to stay clear of this board because, while I knew it was my healty brain telling me this was the correct decisions-I would hear this type of black and white thinking and it would discourage me.

Now I can say it is just plain limited in scope, and not accurate in my case at all.

PJ54 says: "I am sometimes amused by the ferocity of the argument on both sides of the AA versus self-will approaches. When I listen to the arguments I see where I was not so long ago a case of my way is the only right way. "

I would say that is a bit black and white. Not everyone outside of AA does so because they are head strong, wants to rebel, i.e., has to do things "there way." Nor is is seen as a cult be alkis who do not choose to participate.

I actually feel I am doing things the RIGHT way for me today-outside of AA. Mormons in my community sadly have had the same comment with their religion, that people do not join because it is they do not want the full truth, and cannot handle the rigorous lifestyle.

I certainly do not steer this ship-and I am not in AA (or mormon). It is hard for me to hear these assumptions by AAers on this board. Honestly, when I first decided to discontinue AA I had to stay clear of this board because, while I knew it was my healty brain telling me this was the correct decisions-I would hear this type of black and white thinking and it would discourage me.

Now I can say it is just plain limited in scope, and not accurate in my case at all.