Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hard to ask this.
I am almost 9 mos sober. I have been stuck for the past 4 mos not being able to force myself to move forward in the steps. I have been up and down, depressed some days, intense anxiety other days, and some days feel good. I am wearing out.
This week I feel like I am slipping fast. I know how idiotic it sounds, but I keep having thoughts about drinking and/or using, almost craving it again. I cannot even understand it, but the best I can describe it is that I have gone backwards and am undoing my step 1.
My question is... Has anyone else experienced this, and how do I shift gears and be fully surrendered again to the fact that I can't drink?
I told my sponsor and she was pretty shocked I think, but I know I have to stay accountable. We talked about just pushing forward with the steps, but I feel like I can't give it 100%. Is that all I can do? I read back through 2 years of my journals on here last night and I just can't seem to connect to those feelings - it is like a different person wrote them.
I dunno... maybe this will just pass.
I am almost 9 mos sober. I have been stuck for the past 4 mos not being able to force myself to move forward in the steps. I have been up and down, depressed some days, intense anxiety other days, and some days feel good. I am wearing out.
This week I feel like I am slipping fast. I know how idiotic it sounds, but I keep having thoughts about drinking and/or using, almost craving it again. I cannot even understand it, but the best I can describe it is that I have gone backwards and am undoing my step 1.
My question is... Has anyone else experienced this, and how do I shift gears and be fully surrendered again to the fact that I can't drink?
I told my sponsor and she was pretty shocked I think, but I know I have to stay accountable. We talked about just pushing forward with the steps, but I feel like I can't give it 100%. Is that all I can do? I read back through 2 years of my journals on here last night and I just can't seem to connect to those feelings - it is like a different person wrote them.
I dunno... maybe this will just pass.
When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Newcomer
Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.
Sponsor
What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.
Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true - that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.
Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.
Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.
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I like what it says about our addictive craving being treated yet still having old habits etc. So true. That is why we get a new solution (program) to replace the old solution (drink). It is good not to romance drink and to remember the catastrophy it caused.
Way to go on doing step 4; when you doing 5?
all the best.
All them time that you have not had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps, you are in danger of relapse. So get to it and get well!
Keep the momentum going, it will be best if you do.
I woke up today feeling like the "struggle" was lifted a bit. Weird. Can't possibly be that I did my step 4. No way. Well, whatever :-p. Gonna do my step 5 tomorrow. This is really not a big deal to me. Say what you will but I don't feel like I have resentments as much as I have damage from childhood. I really would like to just let it all go.
I am anxious to have some of my defects and fears removed. I chatted with the gas station attendant today. I usually don't even make eye contact. He smiled at me for the first time in the 4 yrs or so I have seen him. Seems my a-hole-ness may be treatable.
Have a good day everyone. xo
Peace!