Ashley, I think you are doing great. That's right, just keep turning to over to HP.

The easiest way for me to do that was to "just do the next right thing". And if that just meant brushing my teeth when I woke up, I did it. Then I would ask my HP to guide me to the next right thing.

Michele

I think it sounded like an awesome meeting. I was so low and suicidal..just a few months ago.
Filled with guilt and remorse.

I knew that no human power could help me.

I luckily had no problem turning it over to the God of my understanding. I had nothing to lose.

Sometimes it takes time. It took me years to get as sick as I was.

Good Luck and thx for the post

Yeah, I do tend to over think a lot of stuff...
keep it simple....
mantra for today :)
thanks

It was a good meeting, I need to work on not bolting out the door too....how do I make myself stick around after the meeting? what do I do?

sometimes simply understanding that we don't always make sound decisions and seeking direction from others who have been there is sufficient. Of course following through with taking action on the suggestions is a big help. Let Go and Let God means just that. Let go of old ways and accept Good Orderly Direction. GOD's hand will be in it.

Well the first 2 or 3 meetings I didn't stick around. Then I started coming early...seemed to be some quality time then.

It was a massively huge thing on my part as I am Bi-Polar and just generally dislike ppl. I kept saying to myself..> Go to any lengths :)

Now it's hard to break away after the meeting!

Hey Ashley, was great to meet you in the chat room last night.

Sounds like you are beating yourself up for things you did in your past. It helped me to finally realize that I wasn't a bad person, I just did bad things because I was a drunk. Forgiving ourselves is something that isn't the easiest thing to do. But I am my own worst enemy, that space between my ears can do me more harm than good at times. Over thinking is one of the many things that space does to me.

Your relationship with your HP is a very personnal thing and something that with time will be very easy for you. I have always believed in God. I just had a problem with a god of someone else's being forced down my throat. That was the way I used to look at it. Today God is a blessing in my life especially since I gave my God control of the bus. I proved for years that if I drove the bus it just wasn't good. Accidents and mishaps all along the way.

I started off by just thanking god for keeping me sober again today and it grew from there.

Still today I have to be aware of my Brain trying to over think things and making them way to complicated. Life really is as easy or hard as I want to make it.

Power to you Ashley for getting right back to a meeting.

Afterwards, do the washing up. There is always one other doing it and people normally chat around the kitchen. I do 'literature' at my meeting so that helps me.

As for HP, it will take time. I have HP in my life but still forget to ask for guidance.

Last night I asked twice for guidance and was completely gobsmacked when I got it (I was lost in London, asked HP for guidance, turned corner I was there. Also, couldnt find a parking space after driving around and around, asked for guidance, there was one). I texted my sponsor hugely gobsmacked.

It will come Ashley. We all start somewhere and you are doing it, one day at a time.

Do you have a sponsor now Ashley?

That was the hardest one for me...so far. It was difficult to admit that I didn't have the power to stop me drinking....OBVIOUSLY, because I had told myself for years that I needed to and I just got worse and worse. So I HAD to turn it over to something else, my HP, otherwise, I would drive myself nuts chasing my own tail, ya' know?

You're on the right track....keep going and more power too you.

i LOVE the title of this thread!

i was mulling over the sacrement of reconciliation just now - literally just now, mind you (oh! reconciliation is what used to be called confession) - cause i have it tonihgt & i wasn't sure what to say. things have been going okay, but i still have this anxiety that every moment i could lead me somewhere else - i don't know, i guess what i mean is that things are going well in general now but that fact still feels rather tenuous - like any moment i could drop back into old habits or something.

anyway, the idea of reconciliation, as opposed to confession, is that sin is that thing which seperates those who have accepted the call (i.e. - conversion & confirmation) from GOd (or if you will, yr HP, or the Way). hence, the need for an act of reconciliation. i guess my feeling was that i'm worried baout being distracted, about not keeping my eye on what is truly important.

& then i asked why - what is it to feel not distracted from God (i.e. - HP, Way)? well, i thought & then i realized - that's happiness - its a fullness & also a lightness of being. its like that point in the Grinch where he finally gets it & his heart grows!

& i realized what that all comes from - Letting Go! letting go is the hardest but most important thing to learn - its so weird that something tha tis about giving over yr power is the hardest thing too, isn't it - but there it is - i feel happiest when i am fully "in the Way", when i have emptied myself to God, when there are no distractions.

sorry for rambling so long - i'm sure this is a mess - but i love this thread, & i think i know what i need to do for reconciliation - thanks!

So right. I know I tried to go at life with JOE power and it messed up my life pretty bad. Afte a years worth of sobriety I am getting a life again. I much happier one than I ever thought.

Thank you all so much, I know what I need to do...just let go of the things I can not control, let Him...sounds so easy...I know it can be once I get the hang of it...I like just doing the next right thing, and prying trying to feel closer to Him....You all are so great, thanks...

And yeah truckin it was good chatting with you last night and everyone else...I was literally laughing out loud at my computer, needed that, thanks :)

Ashley, this little line helped. It is also a reflection of steps one, two and three. I cant. He can. I think I will let him.

yes joe, I like that...