I highly recommend alanon meetings. You will meet others living under similar circumstances with a loved one caught in the grip of the alcoholism. You will learn how they dealt with it and discover different ways of dealing with it as it applies to you and your loved one.

God Bless and stay sober!

He may be getting angry at a perception to force unwanted change. If I were you I'd be asking myself how much power to control do I really have?

Actions of a sober person can be stronger than words in a book, that surely had and will be edited in future editions, so a suggestion or advice could be to let God control him, and maybe God doesn't want him controlled in this area of his life.

Your true concern should be you possibly wanting your way a hair of a fraction too much, an ego driven set of belief that will allow alcohol to be your master and essentially end up trying to gain control over you.

Your best bet is to give him the space and personal time he needs to grow. Are you really that bold where you think you could actually make a man's decisions for him?

Lastly you answered your own question on seeking resource by stating you were going to a meeting, so do you want just a little more than you deserve when it comes to being followed or listened to?

Only you can answer all these questions, but sometimes it is wise to let a sleeping dog lie or you might get bit. Excuse me, I meant lay.

Toodles, or leave him alone.

My heart goes out to you. Being caught in that place between knowing what one can and cannot change is difficult and painful. For me there is no tried and true formula to find that out. It's through trial and error I learn how to handle things a bit better and my limitations.

The most important thing is to take care of yourself the best you can physically and mentally in order not to further confuse the situation by drinking. Not drinking will yield the best possible real outcome.

Definitely check out an Al anon meeting. Al anon is for the family/friends of alcoholics. They help you deal with the day to day issues of living with and alcoholic

I am in the same boat. Husband knows he is an alcoholic and does not want to change..
Best wishes.

Al anon indeed...no surprise many of is get to be "double winners" after a little bit of time sober...but then again maybe you have the chance to get Twice as Well :))

Where's Billy when you need him?!

P

I went to Ala-non. It really helped me. I learned to take care of myself and not obsess over her problem.

"Honey to you want to go with me to see a movie"
"No"
I went myslef and enjoyed the flick. This repeated over and over. I could have chosen to be a prison of her alcoholism,as she did not want to go anywhere.

I also saw a therapist who helped me treat the depression.

all my co-spirators were not drinking Plaul...So Yes!! Alanon... etherway.oh cept for my biological family... like stripes on a Zebraa;always there but at times a blurr if you look at um wrong Ha!! Keep the focus on yourself a wonderful exercise to learn:)
Billy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUODdPpnxcA

oops that was co-conspirators

islanddream, you are in a sticky situation. Get out of his way so you don't go down with the Titanic. You sound like me after I sobered up, lol. It's funny now because almost 22 years have gone but definitely not at the time. I would bring home Al-Anon literature for my husband (believe me, he was like a wet drunk. When I sobered up, he lost his mind, literally). Looking at him kept me from looking at ME!

What I discovered, once I did the work, was that HE was none of my business. More importantly, that I was more than a bit smug that I was sober and now HE had the problem. Very unhealthy. It just pushed him in the opposite direction. I had to show by my actions, not words, that the 12 Step program works, and could for him too. He now has 19 yrs in Al-Anon.

So calm down. I know it must be rough with him drinking. Try seeing him through the eyes of a loving wife who has been where he's at. And for God's sake, leave him to his own devices. Focusing on him will play havoc on your sobriety. Best wishes. Hugs, Dianna

Tis good that there is a way to combat that a bit - now you can be a double dipper. AA can teach you how to live with yourself as an alcoholic, while Alanon will teach you to cope with others that drink...

Hugs,
Dennis