I found that rigorous honesty is the key for me picking up a drink period.

I remember when I had my one year anniversay during a meeting of my home group. There were so many people in attendance, I was humbled from all the love. All of my IOP counselors were there, My IOP classmates were there, and so many people I didn't even know yet they came for me....to give me support and encouragement to continue on my path of recovery! My sponsor chaired that particular meeting and he couldn't stop talking and saying nice things about me!

I continued attending meetings for about another year or so and then I stopped because life was good and I didn't think I needed them anymore. Within a few months, life began getting progressively worse. I went through a divorce, I had an accident at home that traumatized me, and there was more, lots more. and then I slipped. It was a short relapse. I called my sponsor. He picked me up and took me to a meeting. We had a long talk on the way down. He told me that after 2-3 years, we get complacent and we stop doing the kinds of things that kept us sober like going to meetings. It makes us realize how cunning and baffling this disease really is! So I went back to meetings once again.

Good luck on your road to recovery. May you find peace and happiness along the way.

God Bless

Welcome to our community Kate and thank you for sharing. Your story helps remind me to never relax and take my sobriety for granted, which is so easy to do after a period of time. Wishing you much success and looking forward to hearing from you in the future!

welcome to the forum. I hope that you find a way to be sober and happy. Me, well I know that alcohol will only cause me grief, so I choose to not drink today. That’s the way I know I will not do things I regret and embarrass myself.

The thing is when I don’t drink my depression goes away. My mood is even and I don’t make rash decisions.

Alcohol is a drug and highly addictive. Just because it’s sold over the counter it should still be treated with the most respect. I just treat it like a cobra and choose not to mess with it.

1is2many

It’s a normal quest to be a social drinker... actually it’s the desire of most alcoholics. But a pickle can’t go back to being a cucumber. It just is not the way it works.

I just need to stay away from the stuff. And with lithium and sera quill I’m sure the doctor would not want a depressant to Be added.

Alcohol is a depressant by nature as well, why I drank a depressant to feel better is a mystery. I honestly believe I drank because it allowed me to hide from ME

1-2

Thanks for sharing. I went out to dinner right after new year with my wife and she had a glass of wine. Briefly crossed my mind that I could too. But I know better. Especially from reading posts like yours. I accept that it’s not for me. Like jeff says; for me it’s poison. And when we left the restaurant a state trooper was right behind us. Reminded me that I am better off sober. I like myself more. And those around me benefit from me being clear. Too much to give up for something as fleeting as a lousy drink. My soul is healing. That’s more important. Look at it closely. I believe the right path will show itself when you practice that rigorous honesty.

I also like myself a lot more when I don't drink. And am happy to be more 'in the moment'. To be honest, I don't know if I'll go back to AA. Do most people in this group go to meetings? AA became so repetitive for me. And I was a part of a 'clique' of friends - kind of like being in the popular group. It became as much about that for me as the meeting. But I welcomed the friendships even though they did not last when I stopped going to meetings. I guess they weren't like true friends.

After my relapse, the thing that helped me the most was doing the steps again with a sponsor who had alot of wisdom from many years of sobriety. He and I had similar life paths so I could easily identify with him.

When I finished the steps, my life began to change for the better, and in ways I never could have predicted. Long story short, I am far happier now then I ever thought I could be. but it took work, in peeling away the layers of my ego and letting go of my fears....surrendering and trusting in my Higher Power who has never let me down. I use to hear similar stories at AA meetings but I never thought they would happen to me, but they did.

I use to depend on drugs and alcohol to make me high but my Higher Power has now taken over that job,

God Bless

Most here do the meetings. I am out in the country so I have forest,fields and lovely quiet back roads to walk. Talking streams everywhere. Being in the moment surrounded by this has been my ‘meetings’. Being open with myself to understand who I really am. In a way though my daily practice can be repetitive. Creating positive behaviors takes time and patience. So whatever you do to stay sober continue to explore your own mind and imagine a healthier lifestyle. Flip the switch in your brain.

I am also in the country. Everyone has a car but I don't. It's very peaceful and beautiful where I live. It's really a blessing to have in a chaotic life. Maybe I should concentrate on that instead of on what I don't have.

That’s always a wise move. Being grateful for all the things I do have has saved me. Things I took for granted when I lived in my self created chaotic blur of a life. One of my little mantras when I walk is: every heartbeat, every step. Being aware that these are happening now and I either enjoy them or let them slip by without me. Eventually all my heartbeats will stop. They are a gift I receive and don’t want to waste them by being ungrateful.

Ps. Think about what recovery means to you and how deep you are willing to go.

what does that mean - how deep am i willing to go?

I've already plummeted the depths.

Well that’s good that you look inward. I meant that in choosing a sober life I was facing far bigger challenges than just abstinence. Looking at myself honestly to be open to my faults and fears. Wanting to be a higher level of man than the one I was. Spiritually aware. Seeking happiness knowing that my thoughts and actions can bring me there. Seeking that higher power. My recovery and how deep , to me, means coming to truly know and be at peace with myself and not needing anything else to fill the void that my growing spirit needs to fill. Simple right?