Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
UGH!
I feel like I am getting bombarded with triggers today.
I will not get in the car, drive to the liquor store, or purchase booze to pour down my throat. I know that. I truly believe I won't live through another relapse and that scares me. I have invested a lot in my sobriety and have experienced immeasurable gains. I am grateful for what I have and I will not throw it all away.
I DON'T however trust myself around alcohol, ESPECIALLY, surrounded by people unaware of my history. It would be too easy for someone to hand me a drink... I am just afraid I would not have the capacity in that moment to choose to NOT drink.
So, I am skipping the company holiday party tonight, rejecting invites to dinner, dodging certain friends who think now that I am single I should be back in the party scene, etc. I have not been this nervous in a long time. It just seems SO easy for everything to come crashing down if I am not careful.
I did not expect to feel so nutty around the holidays Christmas.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I feel like I am getting bombarded with triggers today.
I will not get in the car, drive to the liquor store, or purchase booze to pour down my throat. I know that. I truly believe I won't live through another relapse and that scares me. I have invested a lot in my sobriety and have experienced immeasurable gains. I am grateful for what I have and I will not throw it all away.
I DON'T however trust myself around alcohol, ESPECIALLY, surrounded by people unaware of my history. It would be too easy for someone to hand me a drink... I am just afraid I would not have the capacity in that moment to choose to NOT drink.
So, I am skipping the company holiday party tonight, rejecting invites to dinner, dodging certain friends who think now that I am single I should be back in the party scene, etc. I have not been this nervous in a long time. It just seems SO easy for everything to come crashing down if I am not careful.
I did not expect to feel so nutty around the holidays Christmas.
Thanks for letting me vent.
Truth is I was going to be alone at my bros house surrounded by booze and I was afraid I would somehow end up with a bottle in my mouth once I put my niece to bed. I had worked myself into a panic, but when I got here my SIL's bro said he was going to stay and work so turns out I am not alone. I'm not worried and feel fine now.
M8 -- There are many days the thought of drinking sounds absurd and ridiculous as though I would never even be tempted to drink again. The obsession has been alleviated but is not gone. I have bad days still. I do worry that I am not getting where I need to be. There are days I still struggle with step 1 and have to think it through again. I just have to stay humble and in acceptance and that is hard for me. My sponsor thinks I have made huge progress. I have changed a lot. I just still have a lot of work to do.
ExJ -- Thank you for reminding me "don't ever think to yourself that you are moving backwards or that it should be easier" ...That is exactly what gets me in a panic. I start to think "here we go again - headed toward a relapse" and then I start to think I am losing control and I get afraid.
Several people have reminded me that this is normal but I don't have to drink and that I need to have faith. To me it still feels like I am racing downhill with no brakes and nothing to hold onto.
Tomorrow is my family getting together to exchange gifts and celebrate Christmas. My mom is staying at my house tonight. That is always hard for me and a big trigger. I will fine though as long as I am around people who know and won't pressure me to drink.
xo
The holidays don't last forever, this too shall pass.
Hang in there, you've worked to hard to get to where you are it.
Peace xxx