I can relate...I have a lot of What if's...Wish I could just stay in the day as I was told but right now to be honest I can't...perhaps someday...I'm always projecting something...:(!

How about, "When I know it is going to happen?" I mean, if I know some life changing event is coming up in a few months, am I suppose to suppress thoughts of that event right up to the day it occurs? Or, should I start planning what I should do now, so the life changing event has at least a controllable outcome?

Being aware of an impending event is NOT projecting; it is being preagmatic. IOW, is ignorance really bliss?

Yes!!!! but you see good intentions are not always , laid on a path of Gold Pragmatism is big word for those intending to stay focused and Just get through The Day without a Drink . Center your day around a meeting, Gets phone numbers," Keep it Simple" In... just Today....My sponsor used to always say" Billy...Where are your feet At" I'd look puzzled!!! he'd reply "Right here Right NoW'
thanksg,
Billy

What if??? Ahhh....."what if KC8ublah blah had something positive to add to discussions & didn't feel the need to debate or question what the author has to say?" aaahhh...now that would be refreshing.... :)


My mind is so much more at peace without those "what if?s".....today I am not worried....whatever happens, happens & it is out of my control.....

In my opinion, yes...ignorance is bliss. If I knew that the world was going to end, I would likely be panicking & spend the last of my days filled with fear & dread....since I don't know when that's going to happen, I have the gift of being all skippy and "la la la..."

Shelly, Thank you on responding on KC8 post.
Enough said

Gjm, I like your suggestion that we strive for positive thoughts. If we must what if how about a positive what if?

What if I be kind...what if I succeed...

Holy and GJM,

Change can only come about by challenge. I agree that we should not make up stuff to worry about. However, to blindly ignore a certain event in the future is irresponsible.

What if you knew your mother or father were being put out of their home at the end of, say next month? Would you ignore this and let them be put out? Or would you reassure them that they would be moving in with you BEFORE the end of next month? Just askin.

KC8-I think g's point (correct me if I'm wrong please G) is that no one knows if they're going to get sick & not be able to work, who knows if their child is going to get addicted to drugs? No one knows if their car is going to break down tomorrow...who knows if they're going to be fired?

I don't think he's saying to ignore something that you know is going to happen & need to take action. I think he's saying don't worry about the unknown. Think positive thoughts instead of filling your head with dread & fear over something you have no control over.

Wow, gjm.....Those what ifs were common place for me right up to and through my beginning into sobriety. I call it chaos mode.

Something happened through working the steps that changed that thought process and I'm not exactly sure when it happened.

Sure, I notice those kinds of thoughts floating around occasionally but I don't seem to give them much attention as fear has been replaced with faith, and knowing that I don't have to act on fear anymore is an earned gift of sobriety.

Now I can respond to the realities in my life.

My oldest daughter is an alcoholic.

I am here when she is ready, I don't have to enable unhealthy behavior. I am honest with her about my feelings, experiences when asked.

My father's heart is giving way and I'm unsure how long he will be around.

I spend as much time as I can with him. I want no regrets when he finally passes.

My place of employment is considering layoffs.

I go to work everyday with the same attitude of productivity that I always have. I keep an open mind in exploring other employment opportunities.

My husband car just died a month ago and he drives for a living. He's a sales representative in the commercial countertop business.

My mother offered us her truck for as long as we need it. She has three vehicles. We try to put what we can away for a vehicle down the road.

My youngest daughter just had braces put on at a whopping $5000.

Sack lunches, much less money spent on entertainment, Watching the budget very closely.

My daughter has decided to move out, don't know where she and my grandchildren are.

Really it is none of my business. My husband reminds me that adult children and grandchildren don't normally live with their parents - grandparents. This may actually open her eyes a bit but I can't worry about it.

There are always questions.....What ifs, but really, I have no control in the out comes of any of these things, situations that I've mentioned. So really.....it makes sense to me to turn it over to the HP, God and know what I can and can't do in these situations.

I could make myself crazy to drink........but by the Grace of God and the fellowship of AA, the 12 steps and 12 traditions and the work I've done and do...... I don't Have TO!

Ree

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference

Thy will, not mine be done

I have found that after playing the what if game, things weren't as bad as I imagined they would be.

At least sober I can face my problems, try to come up with a solution. Drunk I was paralyzed by the what ifs. Coudn't face them. Tried to drink them away.

As a friend of mine used to say, Don't borrow trouble.

Tis the first and most important answer to "What if...?" You don't drink. After that you can sort out the rest, if you are so inclined. ..

Compost, Easy solution to your question, just turn all the negative "what ifs" into positives. As we both know there sure are a lot of positives to this journey of recovery.