Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
The Senility Prayer
God, Grant me the Senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Amen
Now that I'm older, here is what I have discovered --
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
It's funny, but I don't remember being absent minded.
All reports are in ... Life is now officially unfair.
If all is not lost, where is it????
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
.Some days you are the dog. Some days you are the hydrant.
I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause . . . kids.
It is hard to make a comeback when you have never been anywhere.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
When I am finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
It is not hard to meet expenses . . . they are everywhere.
The only differences between a rut and a grave are the depth and one has the ends kicked out.
These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the here after.....
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I am here after.......
If I wake up of a morning and nothing hurts, it may be a good indication that I have died during the night.
Oh, Well . . . I am lost! I have gone out looking for myself.
If I should return before I get back, PLEASE ask me to wait!!
A little laugh is good for the soul.
God bless...
Lionel
God, Grant me the Senility
to forget the people I never liked anyway,
the good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Amen
Now that I'm older, here is what I have discovered --
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
It's funny, but I don't remember being absent minded.
All reports are in ... Life is now officially unfair.
If all is not lost, where is it????
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
.Some days you are the dog. Some days you are the hydrant.
I wish the buck stopped here, I could use a few.
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
Accidents in the back seat cause . . . kids.
It is hard to make a comeback when you have never been anywhere.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you are in the bathroom.
If God had wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees.
When I am finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
It is not hard to meet expenses . . . they are everywhere.
The only differences between a rut and a grave are the depth and one has the ends kicked out.
These days I spend a lot of time thinking about the here after.....
I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I am here after.......
If I wake up of a morning and nothing hurts, it may be a good indication that I have died during the night.
Oh, Well . . . I am lost! I have gone out looking for myself.
If I should return before I get back, PLEASE ask me to wait!!
A little laugh is good for the soul.
God bless...
Lionel
deleted_user
well, golly damn, after reading the first few i peed my pants just a tiny bit but now i'm in a G-D crisis. thanks, lionel devonh
deleted_user
Just what I need. Laughter. Humor. A touch of Reality. And Seeing Devon laugh even if she pees herself. Laughter is God's way of cleaning the pain out of us.
deleted_user
hahahahah...., hahahaha.... Those are so good! I need a copy of that to hang in the house somewhere! Maybe in the bathroom since they are in there with their pants down anyways, and wont wet themselves like poor OLD Devon! lolol
deleted_user
lmao, and devon is trying to tell us its her dog pissing all the time
Join the Conversation
-
My 6mo twin DD's are EBF and just started rice cereal on the first. Everything has been going fine except this morning one of them had a diaper rash (lots of redness around her anus). I read this as one of the signs of an allergy. BUT I did just buy a different brand diaper yesterday (which they have used randomly before w/no issues). Do you think its the cereal or the diaper? Im ready to start...