Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hey peeps. I'm a nursing student. In one way or another, I always wanted to help people. Now, I've grown so far from everyone, that I need help as well. I guess I do. I've spent my entire life screwing things up or being told that I'm screwing things up. Or that I'm a screw-up. I'm one of the those emotional pains-in-the-ass. I usually speak my mind (intentionally and sometimes not) and, the last time I checked, I have half a brain which really pisses people off. I know I'm a difficult person. But I bust my but to help my patients and help my friends. It gets under my skin that being attractive and smiling means more than caring and actually doing for your patient. I'm 33, my friends are doing the "life" thing so it's pretty much me going through this. It's depressing. It's frustrating. Maybe I'm just venting. Doesn't stop me from feeling like a piece of shit. Sorry, if I have offended, yet again, with my language and bluntness. Yet, another reason for me to shuffle off this mortal coil. I know. It's a bit dramatic. So are my eyebrows.
You sound an awful lot like my amazing husband in terms of behavior. He is direct and blunt at times, especially when the situation merits that - meaning it is important and serious.
Sometimes this isn't received well by others. I've come to know him well enough that I'm not as defensive as others are around him. I've told him it isn't necessary what he says, it is the way he says it.
This being said, I am pretty much the exact opposite. My issue is that I get so worried about how others will react to me, I over think what I'm saying and it waters down the content.
So, knowing that I only have control over myself, I try to be more assertive and direct, knowing that my opinion is okay and no one has to agree with it. I still 'edit' a bit, meaning that I know there is a kind way to communicate.
I wish you peace. Try to take care of yourself.
((( hugs )))
Peg
Not sure why you have stopped by at the DS Alcoholism Support Group as you have not mentioned having a problem with alcohol but you are most welcome anyway.
There is nothing in your post that would cause offence but I do detect that maybe you are not altogether happy with yourself. Being opinionated and wanting to save the world are often considered to be noble traits but sometimes such an approach can be counter-productive. I speak from experience on this as I spent many unhappy years hoping to mould other people into what I thought they should be, for their own good of course. It was only when it was suggested that the only one I could change is me that the light came on.
People sometimes get a bit of abuse here for expressing opinions or suggesting solutions that a few others disagree with. Since you have not mentioned alcohol as being a problem in your life it may be safe to suggest a course of action to you that would often draw the ire of some. For the purpose of illustration let us compare your life to a dartboard (I know it sounds peculiar but bear with me). There are three rings on this board of life, an inner ring that is sometimes called the bulls eye, a middle ring and an outer ring.
What we usually do as people is to put me in the inner ring and we expect the world to revolve around us. The mental aspect of our lives goes in the middle ring and when things are not going to our satisfaction there is turmoil in this area. The outer ring contains our relationship with other people and with the world around us. This outer ring would hold things such as relationships, money, career, family, friends, social life, your home, the mortgage, in-laws etc. As people we are forever trying to solve problems in this outer ring but no sooner is one thing fixed than something else goes wrong.
You write: I always wanted to help people. Now, I've grown so far from everyone, that I need help as well. It looks to me as if you are working on the outer ring and even though you are doing your best you cannot fix everything. What if you started from the inside instead and put things right in there first you may then find that the problems on the outside are much easier to solve? What if you could take me out of the centre and put something spiritual in there instead. As a nurse and a caring person you are probably trying to do that already but maybe you need a bit of help.
Now, instead of expressing strong opinions and trying to save the world, you could instead look for spiritual guidance about the best course of action to take. This spiritual aspect of your life could come from some external force or maybe from within yourself. You could then take an inward look at the mental aspects of your life (the second ring) and see if there are things there that you would like to improve. Do you resent other people, institutions or principles? Are you driven by fear of not getting something in the future or losing what you have? Have you hurt other people by your words or deeds? What is it within you that caused you to react in this way? This is not an exercise in putting yourself down or saying that you are a bad person quite the opposite in fact as it leads you to inner peace and freedom.
Having looked inwards at yourself, you can then turn your attention to that outer ring again. Do you owe amends to people you have hurt and are you willing to put those things right? You may find that when you do this the problems that seemed difficult to solve become a lot easier and you wont screw things up. Once you have that inner peace and serenity it becomes easier to accept other people as they are, faults and all. You do your best to help the patients and your friends but you are looking for something in return. If you can learn to do things without the need for approval or the desire to change the other person you will be a much happier person.
Therefore my friend, you have a lot to offer but the changing starts with you. Happiness is an inside job.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y3Q7H2urto&list=PL9285D44ED7F7B18B
Billy
http://thehappysensitive.com/are-you-a-highly-sensitive-person-an-empath-a-feeler-an-intuitive-sensitive-type/
If you are a heavy drinker, you might find that filling your body and brain with booze is causing you all kinds of crankiness, consternation and confusion. There is nothing wrong with speaking your mind or doing what's right, but when your mind is pickled, your perceptions get skewed.
It is not just your friends doing the "life" thing -- so are you. Are you happy with how you are doing it?
But no matter -- there is no reason to be in a hurry to shuffle off this mortal coil. We have little enough time as it is. Plus imagine how dramatic your eyebrows will be when they are bushy and white at age 90. (Your eyebrow comment made me laugh -- thanks for that.)
I agree with billy. Screw society's norms and find your truth. I I know it is hard! I still struggle too. Hugs
Was there a question, or just a general rant , in there?