Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
We reserve the position of Greeter at my home group for newcomers who feel a need or desire to get involved. No one is coerced. We let people know the position is available, and they volunteer. With the customary turnover of newcomers, however, the position often goes unattended. And, because I feel a need to greet people the way I was greeted when I first entered the halls, I frequently fill in for the no-shows.
So it occurred to me recently that standing beside an interior entryway actually left me playing second fiddle to a large group of sober drunks who were assembled at the building entrance. Smokers--who have been legislated out of the public buildings and churches in which most AA meetings are held--now comprise an unofficial greeting line outside most AA meeting halls in my area.
The function of the "official" group greeter is still important. A cheerful how-do-you-do, a discreet question about whether a person is visiting or attending for the first time, directions to the coffee, to a meeting list, introductions to a long time sober member--all of this made a huge difference to me when I was new, even though I was surly in response and wanted mostly to be left alone.
What many of our meetings have now, however, is a line or clot of people outside the door, most of them smoking and engaged entirely with one another. Greetings and waves are extended to familiar faces. But those who are unfamiliar pass through in silence.
Smokers have not volunteered to be greeters simply by choosing to smoke. Yet, in an unfamiliar town, I have located meetings several times by finding a church or public building with a group of people standing at the door smoking. So I know the situation is not all negative. In fact, it can be very good.
However, there are several meetings in my area where, because I am not known, I walk a gauntlet of strained unsmiling faces, many of whom turn away when I approach. Sometimes I see people purposely keeping their backs turned, and hear them--totally unaware that anyone is in earshot, I'm sure--freely using four letter words.
This kind of barroom behavior is understandable in people newly sober, smoking or not. But, is this the way you want to greet people to your home group? Is this the impression of AA you want to leave with people who may be coming for their first meeting or visiting from out of town? Do you think one elected greeter inside the building will balance this initial perception?
Whether you smoke or not, if you stand at the door of an AA meeting, what you look and sound like will be one of the things visitors and newcomers will take away with them.
How do you think you look and sound to people who have to wade through you when you stand around smoking and do not acknowledge them? Might there be a better place to do this than the entryway to the meeting hall?
What do you think, is it worth a business meeting to find a solution in the group conscience?
Anonymous
York, Maine
So it occurred to me recently that standing beside an interior entryway actually left me playing second fiddle to a large group of sober drunks who were assembled at the building entrance. Smokers--who have been legislated out of the public buildings and churches in which most AA meetings are held--now comprise an unofficial greeting line outside most AA meeting halls in my area.
The function of the "official" group greeter is still important. A cheerful how-do-you-do, a discreet question about whether a person is visiting or attending for the first time, directions to the coffee, to a meeting list, introductions to a long time sober member--all of this made a huge difference to me when I was new, even though I was surly in response and wanted mostly to be left alone.
What many of our meetings have now, however, is a line or clot of people outside the door, most of them smoking and engaged entirely with one another. Greetings and waves are extended to familiar faces. But those who are unfamiliar pass through in silence.
Smokers have not volunteered to be greeters simply by choosing to smoke. Yet, in an unfamiliar town, I have located meetings several times by finding a church or public building with a group of people standing at the door smoking. So I know the situation is not all negative. In fact, it can be very good.
However, there are several meetings in my area where, because I am not known, I walk a gauntlet of strained unsmiling faces, many of whom turn away when I approach. Sometimes I see people purposely keeping their backs turned, and hear them--totally unaware that anyone is in earshot, I'm sure--freely using four letter words.
This kind of barroom behavior is understandable in people newly sober, smoking or not. But, is this the way you want to greet people to your home group? Is this the impression of AA you want to leave with people who may be coming for their first meeting or visiting from out of town? Do you think one elected greeter inside the building will balance this initial perception?
Whether you smoke or not, if you stand at the door of an AA meeting, what you look and sound like will be one of the things visitors and newcomers will take away with them.
How do you think you look and sound to people who have to wade through you when you stand around smoking and do not acknowledge them? Might there be a better place to do this than the entryway to the meeting hall?
What do you think, is it worth a business meeting to find a solution in the group conscience?
Anonymous
York, Maine
Billy
I'm so glad that I didn't let that scare me away, but it could have, and who knows if/when I would have made it back.
I think it's worth talking about.
My experience was like Boo's. I was petrified and did not feel very welcome at my first meeting. When I took the position of Greeter in early sobriety, I tried to make all feel welcome (who didn't run by me anyway).
Little things like remembering names do matter. Good post!
~Chris
One of the meetings that I go to is held in a church and there is a prayer group using the next room at the same time. The person chairing the meeting reads out group conscience house rules about not making noise at the door, respecting the prayer group, disposing of cigarette butts etc. Most people are happy to abide by these rules and there is rarely a problem.
I have never come across a Greeter at the meetings but it sounds like a good idea. It pains me to see new people leaving a meeting with nothing but peoples drinking stories and wondering why they bothered to go to an AA meeting at all. Remembering my own great experience at the first meeting, I try to go out of my way to make them feel welcome.
It is something that should be addressed at your group conscience. Sometimes people need a gentle reminder that we have to respect other people and other peoples property. It is not that people behave like this deliberately but very often they just dont think. No long sermon needed but a short announcement before the meeting, at the turn off or silence your mobile phones stage should be enough to put things right.
We should never forget that the newcomer is the most important person in the room when they attend that first meeting.
I know when I'd attend new meetings, or been absent for a bit, I just wanted to sneak in at the start, sit, listen and just be left alone. That would change by the end of the meeting, but if I had a meet and greet to get through the door at the start of some of these, I may have avoided it altogether. There were times it was pure commitment to myself that got me there.
This is just me looking back at how I felt in the first year. I think it's a good idea, but probably kept at a relaxed level. Tell you the truth, if you need a group conscience to get members to meet newcomers, that's sad.
In Love, Light, Truth, & Service.
Stubborn T